


Occupational Hazard

by uisceB



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Comedy of Errors, F/F, Fluff, Humor, Mutual Pining, POV Alternating, Romance, Smut, general danvers, tropes galore
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2017-12-13
Packaged: 2018-12-22 13:09:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 42,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11968065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uisceB/pseuds/uisceB
Summary: General DanversA comedy of errors in which Astra seriously misinterprets things. Seriously. Misinterprets. Things. This is a Human AU, so she doesn’t even have the excuse of being an alien to justify her Serious Misinterpretation of Things. She’s just that socially awkward of an Environmental Sciences professor who is head over heels for the obliviously charming-as-all-hell medical school dropout Alex Danvers.Basically, everyone is confused, smut runs rampant, as do silly tropes, stupidly oblivious mutual pining, and eventually, Feelings.Also Non is a surprisingly effective wingman, even though he very honestly had no intention of being one.Seriously, everyone is just so confused.





	1. Professor Hot Stuff

**Author's Note:**

> Pretty much exactly what the summary says, each chapter will go back and forth between Astra’s pov, and Alex’s. It’ll be short, I’m imagining like 4 or 5 chapters max. This is definitely not a complex or layered story here.
> 
> Also just wanted to add in a quick possible trigger warning—Astra does have occasional bouts of anxiety, and a near panic attack in the beginning here. The story itself is otherwise light-hearted, but just wanted to let you all know there is a brief scene referencing that.
> 
> Okay. Onward.

As a general rule, Professor of Environmental Science and Policy Astra In-Ze did not place blame on others. As a general rule, she took full responsibility for everything that happened in her life, for better, or for worse. As a general rule, taking that responsibility was her personal philosophy, which, for a multitude of reasons, she lived and breathed by.

In this particular case, however, Astra fully blamed her ex-husband, Non.

It was his choice of words that did it. The following words—and phrases—in particular:

**-Frustration**

**-Easing tension**

**-Working out stress to reinvigorate the body**

**-Physical Intimacy**

**-Release**

**-Satisfaction**

**-Human Connection**

**-Companionship**

**-Companionship with regards to physical intimacy with a stranger**

 

All of which were in relation to:

**-Alex Danvers**

 

These separate words and phrases were misleading enough on their own, but to put them into context made them all the more confusing, and Astra couldn’t help but think that this time, the mess she’d gotten herself into was not strictly her fault. 

So, to recount the build up which led to these words, and to their context:

There was a beginning-of-the-school-year house party held by Non for all of their fellow professors three months before this entire…debacle. Astra would hardly call herself a social butterfly, but she did tend to enjoy these things occasionally. An excuse to get dressed up a little, mingle with other professors in a casual atmosphere that still inevitably gave way to discussions revolving around their various professional work…it was a nice feeling. Usually.

This particular night, however, was not a good one. There were too many people in the room, too much noise, smoke, shouting, and Astra noticed—although she refused to let herself feel—that the old tremor in her hand had just made an appearance.

Quickly, before anyone else noticed, and before her mind had a chance to catch up to the source of that tremor, she made her way to the porch outside for some air. She shut the door carefully behind herself with slow, well-controlled precision that she took to be a good sign, then moved to lean against the wall beside it, closing her eyes, and trying to draw deep breaths, counting her way through each one.

It had been awhile since she’d had an episode like this. A long while. Still, let it never be said that Astra was unprepared for anything, fiercely keeping that block up in her mind that prevented her panic from getting too far. If she’d made her way through dozens of these episodes years before, she could handle one more now, just so long as she breathed through it— _in, two, three, four…out, two, three four…_

“You okay?”

Astra’s eyes flew open in surprise, and she clamped down on her natural instinct to jolt. Even at this moment, she refused to appear weak. She had better control than that. Astra was always in control.

So she turned her head as calmly as she could to find a young woman perched on the porch railing just to her right, looking at her curiously. 

Astra straightened away from the wall, relieved to find the tremor hadn’t spread down to her legs the way it sometimes did, and offered a tight smile. “I’m fine,” she said, proud of her voice for coming out even. “I just needed some air. It was…getting crowded in there, and I got a little overheated.” She attempted to fan herself, then quickly stopped in case it made her tremor noticeable.

The young woman tilted her head a little bit, and for a moment, Astra felt like she was reading her, like she didn’t quite believe the flimsy lie. But then she smiled and nodded, taking a quick pull from what looked like a fairly generous glass of whiskey. 

“I know what you mean,” she sympathized, placing the glass on the railing and turning to face Astra more fully. “You stuff that many stuffy people in one stuffy room, it can definitely get a little…hot and stuffy.”

Astra gave a more relaxed smile this time. It was obvious this woman hadn’t believed her lie, was probably well aware Astra had been cresting on a panic attack, but she had just graciously accepted her excuse, and Astra was grateful for it. Relieved by the non-threatening atmosphere, she decided hesitantly that maybe an attempt at conversation with this woman might take her mind off of her shaking hand. Something to focus on, something to steady her until she got herself back on track.

“You don’t seem too stuffy yourself,” she offered clumsily. _Clumsily._ “And you’re not…you aren’t a professor with us here, are you? …Not that you don’t—you just seem…young.”

Astra winced inwardly at both her stammer, and her wording. Talk about insulting toward this young woman. And so much for thinking a conversation might somehow be _calming._ But she really _did_ look young—Astra couldn’t imagine she was any older than twenty-three or twenty-four…not that it was her business to judge anything based on age alone…

Luckily, the young woman was smiling, and shaking her head vigorously. “No, definitely not a professor,” she laughed. She hopped off the railing and strode forward, hand extended out to her. “Alex Danvers, Second Year Medical School Dropout and Great Disappointment to the Family. Nice to meet you.”

Astra stared at the hand extended toward her—she was expecting a handshake, that was clear. But Astra’s own hand was too shaky for a handshake. If she extended it too, Alex would notice the tremor, and…

And then, so what? It’s not as if it mattered. She had no intention of ever seeing this young woman again, especially if she was a dropout, so she supposed there was no reason to be concerned with making any sort of lasting impression.

Still, rather than taking Alex’s hand in any kind of normal way, she whipped her hand out as quickly as she could and grabbed Alex’s as hard as she could, shaking it vigorously, hoping the sudden speed of the action would make it so that Alex wouldn’t see that tremor. Which was true. She didn’t. But she did look incredibly surprised at having her hand so aggressively seized and squeezed.

Just one fumble after another. She meant to let go of Alex’s hand as quickly as possible, but holding it for just a moment felt like she was holding onto a lifeline. Alex’s hand was fairly calloused for being—for having _been_ —a medical student. It was cold, too, from having just been wrapped around her whiskey glass. But it fit very perfectly in hers, entirely steady, and firm, and for a brief second, Astra felt her panic alleviate.

But really, she was gripping much too hard, and for much too long, because Alex looked a little startled, a little unnerved, so Astra released her, dropping her own hand to her side and moving it back behind her a little bit. The tremor seemed to have eased, but she still didn’t want Alex noticing in case it flared up again.

“So, do I get a name back?” Alex asked her.

“Sorry?”

“Your name. You didn’t tell me. Or should I just call you Professor Hot Stuff?”

Astra flinched her head back, thrown completely off guard.

Alex’s cheeks immediately went a little red, but she kept a somewhat lopsided smile in place. “I just meant—cuz we were talking about it being _‘hot and stuffy’_ in the room back there, so I just… _hot_ and _stuff,_ and you’re…” she cleared her throat, scratching the back of her neck, that self-conscious smile still there. “Sorry, that was a bad joke, people keep telling me I shouldn’t try to make puns, I’ll just…go back to my little railing over here, don’t mind me.”

She backed away and reclaimed her perch on the railing, picking up her glass and taking a sip, looking up at the night sky awkwardly.

She looked a little bit beautiful, Astra thought, watching her. She had an entirely symmetrically angled face that would almost have been angelic if not for the somewhat devilish spark in her eyes, and the knife-like sharpness of her features. Chin-length cropped hair framed those features perfectly—a little shorter and it might have looked severe, but like this, it just made her look stunning in a little bit swaggering of a way. That swagger had been so tempered by her awkward fumble though, that it turned it to pure charm, and Astra smiled a little bit.

“Astra,” she said finally.

Alex looked back at her, head cocked, looking a little apprehensive.

“My name,” Astra clarified. “It’s Astra. Though I suppose Professor Hot Stuff isn’t entirely objectionable.”

Alex’s face relaxed into a grin, and Astra felt the tension ease between them.

“Do you mind if I ask what a medical school dropout is doing here?” she asked, leaning more comfortably back against the wall.

Alex held up her glass. “Bar tender,” she said. “Well, bar tender on break.” She shrugged. “My old professor became a really good friend to me back in the day—she keeps sending me part-time job opportunities while I get my life back together. It’s mostly been little odd jobs, some catering stuff like this—though this is one _fancy_ house for a college professor, no wonder I’m getting paid the big bucks tonight.”

Astra nodded with what she hoped was a mostly contained scowl. “Well, when you’re as well-published as my ex-husband is, you certainly do find yourself in more comfortable lodgings than most,” she said.

“This is your ex-husband’s party?” Alex asked, eyebrows shooting up. She took another sip from her glass. “Shit, no wonder you needed to come out here.”

Astra smiled. “He and I are actually on good terms,” she said honestly. “We parted civilly. There’s never been any particular warmth or coldness between us—not when we were together, and not even when we separated. It’s always been a little…tepid…between us. Lukewarm.”

Alex’s left eyebrow twitched up a little critically. Then the left side of her mouth lifted a little bit into a sly grin. “Well, lukewarm’s not good enough for you, Professor Hot Stuff,” she said. “You should find someone who sets your world on fire.”

Astra’s lips parted in surprise and she began to stammer, because casual flattery was confounding to her, and she was almost grateful when a man came barging through the door, pointing angrily at Alex.

“Hey! Your break’s been over almost ten minutes, get back inside!” he snapped.

Alex stood immediately, a lazy little salute her only act of insubordination.

“Caterers,” she said to Astra with an exaggerated eye roll as the man marched angrily back into the house. “Always so touchy.” She knocked back the last of her whiskey, which Astra was absolutely certain she shouldn’t be drinking if she was on the job, and yanked open the door. “Nice meeting you, Astra.”

Astra fumbled out some sort of goodbye, then let her head drop back against the wall of the house when Alex disappeared through the door.

So, that was Encounter Number One with Alex Danvers.

Encounter Number Two was at the campus gym some two and a half weeks later. 

Typically, Astra liked to get to the gym no later than 7 o’clock in the morning while it was still mostly empty. An honorable discharge from the military that cut her contract time down to only two years back when she was twenty years old had still instilled in her the need to leap headfirst into every day by punching and kicking the pulp out of something. It was truly the only stress reliever she knew.

This particular day, however, she had forgotten to set her alarm, and so wasn’t there until nearly 9 o’clock when the more sane early birds were rolling in.

To her relief, the sparring room was still mostly empty, currently occupied by only three others. Wrapping her hands carefully, she stepped up to her normal punching bag and began warming up with a few simple combinations. Her attention was soon caught, however, by the sound of someone absolutely _wailing_ on their own bag, hard enough that Astra was actually concerned it might be knocked from its chain.

Pausing in her own workout, she looked over and down to the opposite end of the small room and felt her heart pick up pace as her eyes fell on Alex Danvers, Second Year Medical School Dropout and Great Disappointment to the Family, beating the life out of the bag hanging farthest across to the right. 

And god, did she look exquisite. In nothing but shorts and a sports bra, nearly every muscle in her body was put on display. Sharp and narrow though her body might be, it seemed mostly to be because it had been toned to near perfection through rigorous training. Astra found herself wondering if maybe Alex had some sort of fighting background—every strike was so precise, and so full of power…

She jumped when Alex, probably sensing someone’s gaze on her, looked up, locking eyes with her across the room. Her hair, too short to pull back, was a sweaty, ruffled mess that couldn’t have been more attractive if she’d tried, and Astra swallowed thickly. That fierceness in her gaze…

…almost immediately brightened into a smile as she must have recognized Astra.

Astra smiled weakly in response, quickly returning to her own work out, embarrassed at having been caught. She wasn’t sure what Alex was doing at the campus gym if she was a dropout, but she supposed she couldn’t complain. What was there even to complain about? She could share a small room with Alex Danvers, the two of them beating their respective punching bags to a pulp.

She blew out her breath, focusing, before snapping her hands out, hips turning to provide more power to each hit. Her series of strikes pounded out a satisfying pattern, and when she stopped, she was startled to find that pattern pounded out in a precise echo down at the other side of the room. She looked back over at where Alex was, and Alex flashed her a grin. Puzzled, Astra went back to another combination—only to hear that exact pattern of strikes echoed back at her. She looked over at Alex again, finding the young woman’s expression playful. She was mimicking her.

Astra wasn’t sure what this game was that they were playing, but this time, she kept her eyes on Alex as she fell back into a slightly more complicated combination. She surprised herself by being pleased when Alex held her gaze and mimicked the pattern precisely again. Then she lifted an eyebrow. A challenge.

Astra flew into a flurry of movement, a series of nine strikes, high and low kick, spinning into a final strike.

Alex copied it flawlessly.

Alright then.

She launched into another series of attacks on her punching bag, longer, this time adding a spin kick for good measure, strangely thrilled when Alex kept up with her perfectly before beginning a combination of her own, eyebrow raised in challenge for Astra to mimic _her_ this time.

Astra grinned—maybe the first real grin in…years, she realized. This was just…silly, and fun, and competitive, and Astra found herself wishing the two of them could go ahead and leave the punching bags behind them and just spar together. They’d make a perfect pair, clearly well-matched in technique and training—Astra couldn’t remember the last time she had just…sparred with someone, and was suddenly hit by the memory of how satisfying it could be—not even just to win, but just the presence and physicality of it, the rush she got, the rush she knew she’d get from Alex in particular—and then all of a sudden in her mind, it was no longer sparring. It was something else, and she hit the bag as hard as she could, getting it at the wrong angle, wincing as her wrist buckled. 

Oh god, had Alex seen…?

But Alex’s attention seemed to have been caught abruptly by her phone’s alarm, and she scooped it up in her hand, holding it up apologetically for Astra to see.

“I’ve got an appointment I need to get to,” she called across the room. She grinned though. “We should do this again some time.”

Astra stuttered something out, and Alex jogged toward the door. “Good to see you, Astra!” she called back over her shoulder.

So that was Encounter Number Two with Alex Danvers.

Encounters Numbered Three, Four, and Five were not so much encounters as they were brief run-ins at the grocery store, on the way home from the gym, and one time coming out of a movie theater. None of these run-ins were close enough to warrant a conversation, or even a hello, but they both always smiled at each other in recognition. 

And then came Encounter Number Six.

Encounter Number Six was not actually an encounter, _or_ a run-in—it was simply a sighting, and it was the reason for the debacle she was currently in.

It was another month and a half after they had seen each other at the gym, and Astra was walking down the third floor corridor of the Westing Building to her office when it happened. As she passed one of her colleague’s offices, she heard a long, drawn-out moan from behind the closed door that made her cringe inwardly.

Maybe it wasn’t a moan, she thought. Maybe it was just a very odd yawn. Or something else. 

But she was fairly certain that was a moan.

She quickened her pace with some disgust at the things some of her co-workers got up to during work hours with each other, or with students, or what have you, and made her way to her office. Not fifteen minutes after she had sat down did she remember she was supposed to be meeting Non for coffee. Snatching up her bag, she quickly made for the door, opening it just as Non himself appeared on the other side.

She let out a breath, hand going to her temple. “Non, I apologize, I completely forgot we were meeting today…”

“Not a problem,” he said, an all-knowing smirk cracking across his thin lips. “I expected you might. I also expected you had probably forgotten your phone, so I decided I may as well just come over and get you myself.”

She smiled with a sigh, relaxing into the easier rhythm they had managed to find in their divorced life. “You know me too well. I’ve just been so…frazzled…lately, trying to keep up with work. I’ll make it up to you, let me buy you the first cup…”

She broke off as the door to the office where the moan had come from opened, and out stepped French Professor Claire du Bois…and Alex Danvers, Second Year Medical School Dropout and Great Disappointment to the Family. Alex was pulling a jacket on, while Claire just leaned against the doorjamb, body relaxed to the point of near-boneless, hair messily out of place, watching her.

“That was amazing,” she sighed contentedly, and Alex grinned.

“You looked like you needed it,” she said. She reached forward to where Claire’s shirt seemed to have slipped off her shoulder and pulled it back up where it belonged for her. “Listen, call me any time you want another round.”

“Oh, I _definitely_ will,” Claire all but purred. She took out a wad of bills and pressed them into Alex’s hand.

“Thanks,” Alex said.

“Oh, trust me, the pleasure was all mine,” Claire assured her, and leaned in to kiss her on the cheek. With another friendly grin, Alex pocketed the money, and made her way down to the stairwell at the far opposite end of the hall, and Claire closed herself back into her office with another deeply satisfied sigh.

“Astra,” Non said. “Astra, hello.”

Astra snapped her gaze back up to him, honestly not even having been aware of how hard she had been staring after Alex. 

“…Yes,” she said with a sharp nod, not sure what he had been saying.

He followed her line of vision. “Is something wrong?” he asked.

“No—no, I just recognized that woman from…somewhere,” Astra said vaguely. “She told me she was a dropout, I was just surprised to see her on campus.”

Non squinted to see Alex clearer as she disappeared around the corner to the stairs.

“Oh, you mean Alex Danvers,” he said.

“You know her?” she asked in surprise. Alex had bar tended at his start-of-the-school-year party, but Astra wouldn’t have expected Non to remember her amongst everything else that was going on.

“Not personally, no,” he said. “But I know _of_ her. I know several of the professors here hire her fairly regularly when they’re in need of…well, _stress relief_ , we’ll call it. Though I can’t say I approve of them doing it during work hours, that hardly seems appropriate. Or legal.”

Astra looked at him, wheels turning slowly. “They hire her for…stress relief?” she echoed critically.

There was either a glint in his eye, or else the lights from above were hitting his eyes in a very particular way when he looked at her. “Well, you know how it is, how stressful it can become toward the end of the first semester,” he said. _“You_ certainly look to be feeling it, whether you want to admit it or not.”

Astra raised an eyebrow severely at the criticism. Whatever stress she had been feeling lately she had well contained and well under control, and Non would do best to remember that.

“She provides a sort of…release…for clients,” Non went on, raising his hands slightly to acknowledge her look. 

“Release.”

“Hours of stress,” Non said, “sometimes the only way to release that frustration is through, well, physical intimacy. Companionship through closeness, through _touch_ with a stranger. I’m told she provides that in an _extremely_ satisfying manner.”

Astra swallowed loudly, unable to stop her composure from slipping somewhat as she started putting his words and the interaction she had just observed together. The moan, the relaxed body, the putting on of clothes, the mussed hair, the cheek kiss, the money…

Was Alex Danvers…selling herself?

She’d said she was doing odd jobs, trying to put her life back together after having dropped out of school, but…

She gaped a little.

Alex Danvers, Second Year Medical School Dropout and Great Disappointment to the Family, was selling herself.

“But… _you_ haven’t ever hired her before…have you?” Astra asked hesitantly through her grinding epiphany, not sure if she actually wanted to hear the answer.

She was perhaps disproportionately relieved when he shook his head. “Those types of services aren’t really my cup of tea,” he said. “But she’s apparently very good at what she does. I must have overheard over a dozen of our colleagues praising her. They’ve all said she’s spectacular for reinvigorating the body.” He paused, lifting an eyebrow. “You definitely look like you could use her type of attention, I don’t think I’ve seen you looking this stressed for years. I can get you her number if you’d like.”

“What? Absolutely not!” Astra sputtered— _sputtered—_ in front of _Non—_ mortified. The idea that her ex-husband was actually trying to set up an appointment for her with…well, with a _prostitute…_ even if it was Alex…

“It’s no trouble,” Non said, waving her protestation away. He took out his phone and began scrolling through. “I know Jax texted me her number sometime back…oh, there we are. I’m going to make an appointment for you.”

“Non,” she said sharply, a commanding tone she had only ever used whilst in the army, and, on occasion, in the classroom. She straightened up to her full height, staring him down. “I forbid you from doing this. This is completely unacceptable and I _will not_ tolerate you doing so much as _considering…”_

“Astra, you spend all your time locked away in your office _alone,_ you need some kind of human connection,” Non returned, his tone shifting as well. “We both know you and I never connected all that well on a human level when we were together, but I know it’s something you crave. It will make you feel better, and it will make me feel better knowing that you haven’t become a total recluse.”

“I’m not a recluse, Non, you will hand over that phone to me immediately—“ she grabbed once again for it, but he clicked it off, letting it drop back into his pocket.

“All set,” he said. “Jax said she’s self-employed so there are no middlemen or overseers to deal with. He said she’s usually good about getting back to people within the day, so I’ll text you once we’ve got a date and time set.”

For the first time in their entire life of knowing each other, Non had just outmaneuvered her, and Astra could barely speak.

*

She lay in bed on her back with her eyes wide open staring up at the ceiling for hours that night. So much to process.

First, that Alex was a prostitute of all things. It wasn’t as if it was necessarily something…bad…she supposed. Well. It was illegal. So it was kind of bad.

But…was it wrong for Astra to think that it seemed _beneath_ Alex? Medical school dropout though she may be, she was obviously smart enough and well-educated enough to have gotten _into_ medical school in the first place. Non had said she was self-employed, so presumably this wasn’t any kind of trafficking situation that she needed to charge in and rescue Alex from. It sounded like this must have been a personal decision.

But why _prostitution_ of all things? Easy money, she supposed. With those looks and that charm, Astra supposed anyone would happily hand over their wallet, valuables, life insurance, pets, children, and deeds to their house for an hour with her.

Or maybe that was just Astra.

She clapped her hand over her forehead, frustratedly. Because yes, alright, the night after she had seen Alex at the gym, she may have spent a couple hours…thinking. About Alex. About sparring with Alex. About…not sparring with Alex. About the way Alex had looked there, muscles completely on display, her motions fierce, beautiful, that entirely cheeky smile and those dark eyes that sparked with a mischief Astra had been able to see from all the way across the room. About the memory of her calloused hand when she’d held it the first night she’d met her, about how it might feel to have both those hands on her, gentle, rough, it didn’t matter, she’d probably take anything…

Alright, so by “thinking about Alex” Astra meant she had spent several hours getting herself off to various fantasies about Alex. She had been late to work the morning after so she could get just one more in before she’d had to leave. And even weeks later—months, now—sometimes something would remind her of Alex, and she would let herself fall back on a couple fantasies.

She always did a remarkable job of pretending she _hadn’t_ though, so while, in the back of her mind she felt some embarrassment every time she saw Alex, that embarrassment was well tucked away where it didn’t bother her _too_ much day to day. Mostly.

She jumped nearly off the mattress when her phone buzzed on the nightstand beside her. With a huff, she picked it up, groaning with dread when she saw that it was a text from Non.

_Friday, 5:00,_ it said. _$60 per hour._

Sixty dollars? Astra sat up, frowning at the phone. Well, that seemed low. Alex deserved _much_ more than _sixty,_ who in the world would look at her and only pay _sixty—_

Astra dropped her head back down against the pillow and tossed the phone to the side. Honestly, what was wrong with her?

What was wrong with her was Alex, and Alex’s face, and Alex’s body, and the way Alex had made her laugh, and stutter, and of course Astra was going to pay her to come to her house and fuck her, who was she even trying to fool?

*

The question of _What does one wear for one’s first encounter with a prostitute_ was not one that Astra would have expected to need to address in her life. Was she supposed to put on sexy lingerie? Did _Alex_ put on sexy lingerie? Did they _both?_ Neither? Was she supposed to dress nicely for this, or were jeans fine? Or a dress for easier access? She didn’t want to overdo, but she didn’t want to underdo, either.

Not that it mattered, of course. Alex was a prostitute, Astra supposed she wouldn’t care what her clients were wearing as long as she got paid.

Sixty dollars. Astra wrinkled her nose. There was no way in hell she was only going to pay Alex _sixty dollars_ for this. She deserved so much more than that.

Ultimately, she fell back on black jeans and a form-fitting black tank top. May as well keep it simple. The jeans were tight in the most flattering of ways, but she still did a quick practice test to make sure she could get them off easily enough without too much hinderance. She didn’t want to make this difficult for Alex.

She was ready by 4:30, and so, busied herself productively for Alex’s arrival by pacing back and forth for a half hour. She was glad she lived in a house now, as opposed to an apartment where she would have gotten complaints from downstairs neighbors for how intensely she was pacing.

At 5:01, her doorbell rang, and she suddenly wished a giant black hole would spontaneously open up beneath her, and she could disappear. This was obviously a huge mistake, she never should have gone through with this, what had she gotten herself into…?

But Astra didn’t back down from things she had committed herself to. Ever. She had made her bed, now she had to sleep in it. With Alex. She took a steeling breath, and strode toward the door, taking one moment to shut her eyes bracingly, before pulling it open.

And god, there she was, and she was wearing jeans and a low-cut fitted band T-shirt under a leather jacket and she looked perfect and hadn’t even needed to _try…_

“Professor Hot Stuff!” Alex exclaimed in surprise. Good surprise? It looked like good surprise—she’d remembered the nickname after all this time in any case, and her eyes were bright, smile almost excited, and Astra just about melted.

“When your assistant called and gave me your name, I wondered if it might be you,” Alex went on cheerfully, beginning to make her way through the door. 

Assistant? Oh. Non.

“I’ve never met any other Astra before,” Alex was saying, “definitely not around here, so I was hoping it might be you.”

Astra’s heart shot straight up into the sky somewhere, leaving her breathless, and completely unable to respond.

_I was hoping it might be you._ Alex had been hoping her client for the day would be _her._ Was this a dream? Or some sort of sick hallucination made to torment her once she finally regained sanity?

Then again. Prostitute. She probably said things like that all the time. Astra felt oddly relieved at the thought. She was well aware of how much she wanted Alex, but the thought of Alex wanting her back was almost too much for her to handle right now. It was better if this was one-sided. Safer. So she steadied herself, closed the door behind Alex, and walked with her into the kitchen.

She was carrying something large and heavy in one hand, something collapsable inside a bag. Astra watched curiously as she put it down on the floor, withdrawing a small bottle from the side pocket.

“What is that?” she asked.

“Oil,” Alex told her. “It feels amazing, trust me, you’re going to love it. Practically orgasmic.”

Astra almost choked, but recovered quickly. “Well, you are the expert,” she said.

Alex smiled, then swung her arms, looking around. “So. Where do you wanna do this thing?” she asked.

Astra blinked in surprise. Right down to business. That was…probably a good thing?

“I was thinking in…in my room,” she said, hoping that that stammer didn’t sound as obvious as it felt falling out of her mouth.

“Oh, you’ve got a setup already?” Alex asked.

Astra wasn’t sure what that meant, but for fear of looking foolish, she simply nodded. “Of course.”

“Great, makes my job easy,” Alex said, smiling. She took a step forward. “Should we get started?”

“Wait—do you want a drink or anything first?” Astra blurted out without having planned it, stepping in front of Alex to stop her. She cleared her throat. “I mean, if you’d prefer to ease into things, rather than just…jumping into it.”

Alex looked surprised, then cocked her head with amused curiosity. “Wow. No one’s ever offered me a drink on the job before. Maybe another time? I charge by the hour, so I don’t wanna bleed you dry here. I drink a lot.”

_Another time._ So she could look forward to a repeat performance if this went well?

Heart practically bursting at the seams, she nodded. “That sounds fair,” she said, so, so proud of the levelness of her voice. She gestured to her room. “Shall we?”

Alex followed her down the hall to her room, so close behind her, not even touching, and Astra still felt like she was about to ignite. 

“We’re gonna need to get you out of these crazy tight clothes first and foremost, holy shit, no wonder you’re tense,” Alex laughed as they reached the doorway, fingers plucking teasingly at her shirt. Astra narrowly avoided tripping over her own feet. 

Unable to come up with a good response to that, she held the door open for her, lingering for a moment, watching as Alex looked around. God, she was beautiful. And for an entire hour, Astra got to pretend she was hers.

Alex looked back at her, cocking her head with some confusion. “I thought you said you already had a set- _ummppff!”_

Astra probably should have let her finish her sentence before kissing her, but it was too late now, she had already pressed her lips wantonly to Alex’s, sighing as her fingers slid back to curl under the short hairs at the back of her neck.

It took her a moment to notice, because Alex smelled so good, and her lips were warm and soft, and her skin, well…it took her a moment to notice that Alex seemed to be a little bit frozen.

Astra separated from her uncertainly, pulling back to look her in the eye. Had she ruined it? Was she supposed to have waited for Alex to act first?

“I—wow,” Alex said, staring at her, eyes as big as saucers.

“I’m sorry, was I supposed to wait for you to go first?” Astra asked quickly. “I guess you’re supposed to be the one relaxing me, I should have waited for you to go first. I’m sorry—I’ve never done this before…hiring someone to…‘relieve stress.’ Like this.”

Alex blinked at her rapidly—maybe she was more accustomed to clients who had done this a couple times. Maybe she didn’t do, what was it, “newbies.” That probably made sense, an apparently sought-after prostitute like Alex might be selective in her clients, might only want to deal with people who wouldn’t…well, turn into nervous wrecks the way Astra was currently.

But then something must have clicked in Alex’s mind, because she seemed to realize something—maybe she realized that Astra _was_ new to this kind of thing, that this was going to be a little different than what she had expected, and maybe she was a little embarrassed by the mistake, because her cheeks turned bright red and she exclaimed, “Oh! _Oh_ you, um…you…”

Whatever this particular hang-up was, she seemed to get stuck on it for a moment, eyes shifting around the room, saying “oh” and “um” and “you” several more times as if things were suddenly making sense to her. 

It was a little bit intense of a realization, though, and Astra rushed to clarify, “I mean, it’s not that I haven’t done… _this…_ before, obviously, I just meant I haven’t ever _hired_ anyone for this before. You aren’t dealing with a _complete_ amateur.”

She offered a teasing smile, meant to put her more at ease, but Alex, if anything, turned redder.

“No, I didn’t think—“ Alex stammered, “I didn’t think you’d be an amateur, you definitely don’t seem like you’d be…”

_Alex_ was _stammering._ Astra had never expected to hear her stammer, and it was surprisingly enchanting. She bit her lip, gaze dipping to Alex’s mouth again, finding the idea that Alex was nervous about being Astra’s first foray into this to be absolutely charming.

She reached forward, the movement effectively silencing Alex, and took the small bottle of oil from her hand, placing it on the dresser beside them. Then she tucked Alex’s hair back behind her ear, stroking the ends a little bit, taking her time, admiring. 

“Alex,” she said, lifting her eyes to meet hers. “You’re going to have to walk me through protocol on this, but if it’s alright to start, I’d really like to kiss you.”

Alex swallowed thickly, then cleared her throat, eyes ping-ponging back and forth between hers. Then a nervous smile flickered suddenly at the corner of her mouth and she breathed out, “Yeah, that’s probably fine,” before cupping Astra’s face and pulling her into a deep kiss.

Oh, this was so much better. Alex kissing back—lips soft, but the kiss itself insistent, suddenly surprisingly confident…

…Not _surprisingly,_ she reminded herself, Alex did this all the time. It was just surprising after the amount of stammering Alex had just done.

The confidence of it now made her hum with pleasure—this was what she had imagined, that borderline swagger translated so well into the way she kissed, the way her hands roamed down around her waist, fingers teasing under the hem of her shirt, not to disrobe yet, just to feel, just to tease…

Alex backed her up against the wall, and Astra gasped as her shoulder blades collided with it with a painful _thump._ She bit Alex’s lower lip in response, elation shooting through her when Alex moaned with pleasure, subduing her by kissing her more roughly. She raked her fingers through Alex’s hair, pleasure spiking higher as Alex let go of her hips to reach behind herself, easing her jacket off down her shoulders without ever losing contact with Astra’s lips.

With the jacket tossed blindly to the side, Alex’s hands returned to her waist, and Astra could run her hands down over Alex’s bared shoulders and arms, reveling in the feeling of those muscles she had observed all those months ago. Alex squeezed her hips, breaking their kiss to begin sucking at the side of her throat, and Astra clung to her, _hard,_ so her knees wouldn’t give out. God, had it really been _that long_ that she…oh, and there was biting now, down to her chest, hot breath against her skin, and fingers underneath the hem of her shirt again, lifting…

And then her phone rang.

Under normal circumstances, Astra would have ignored it. But this was a particular ringtone she had set for her niece in case of an emergency.

Wrenching herself back into a state of actual control and awareness, she pressed her hand against Alex’s sternum to keep her at bay, slightly out of reach of being able to kiss her.

“Just ignore it,” Alex urged breathlessly, trying to lean in again.

Astra kept the pressure on her though, stopping her from being able to. “I can’t, I’m sorry—it’s my niece—“

She pushed her way out of Alex’s arms and strode quickly over to the phone on her nightstand, snatching it up without a second thought as to how her voice or breathing would sound.

“Hello?” she answered quickly.

“Aunt Astra? I...Can you come get me?”

Her voice sounded small, and sad, and Astra felt rage wash abruptly over her, absolutely certain about where that sadness was coming from.

“Where are you?” she asked without hesitation.

“The bus stop on 4th,” came the regretful reply.

Astra took a calming breath, so Kara would know it wasn’t _her_ that she was angry with. “I’ll be right there, little one,” she assured her. “I’m on my way.”

She hung up, shoving the phone in her back pocket, and turned to Alex who was looking at her with alarm.

“Is everything okay?” she asked, concern pinching her brow.

Astra nodded jerkily, distracted, frustrated…

“I’m so sorry to do this, but I have to go pick up my niece,” she said, clipping over to her closet, rummaging through to find a jacket and some shoes. “This idiot boyfriend of hers,” she went on, mostly muttering to herself as she pulled them on. She strode toward the door once they were on, halting when she looked at Alex again. Alex with her hair all mussed and ruffled, clothes tugged out of place, lips swollen and red… 

Humiliation came tumbling into her.

“I don’t…”

How exactly did one go about ending a session with a prostitute early?

“It’s okay,” Alex said quickly, seeming to read her mind. She picked her jacket up off the floor. “Family emergencies, trust me, I get it.”

“I’m…I’m happy to pay the full amount,” Astra said. 

Alex’s eyes widened. “No! You don’t have to do that, I mean, I’ve been here, what, ten minutes? Less?”

“Please, I insist,” Astra said sharply, in a voice that left no room for argument. She regretted her tone immediately when Alex blinked in surprise. She huffed out a calmer breath. “I would like to pay you the full amount, Alex, and…I hope I might be able to make a second…appointment…with you. If that’s alright.”

Alex nodded, clearing her throat and still looking a little stunned, and Astra could have kicked herself for how awkwardly and badly this had gone. Bringing a prostitute out here, catching her off guard by revealing this was her first time paying for this type of thing, and now this…

But she couldn’t worry about that right now. She forced her brain to focus on what was actually at hand. She needed to go pick up Kara, that was the most important thing.

So she led Alex out down the hall to the door, waiting for her to retrieve whatever that giant thing was that she had carried over. She grabbed her wallet up from the table and pulled out three twenties, pressing them into Alex’s hand.

“I’m so sorry, again,” she said.

“I…no, you know…the first time’s on the house,” Alex offered. An obvious lie, but a startlingly sweet one nonetheless.

Astra closed Alex’s fingers over the money. “I’m paying the full amount,” she said firmly. When Alex started to disagree again, Astra interrupted her, saying, “If nothing else, then at least allow this to be a downpayment for next time. Please.”

Alex finally nodded, eyes wide, seeming thrown off-kilter. “Next time. Yeah. For sure.”

Astra hesitated for a moment. Was she allowed to kiss Alex goodbye? Or was that too…that was probably too clingy, or unprofessional, maybe. Definitely unprofessional. She stepped back, allowing Alex to exit first before joining her, pulling the door closed and locked behind them.

They split ways at the bottom of the stairs, Astra making her way to the garage, Alex heading for home, or for another appointment…Astra tried not to think about her heading for another appointment. She knew she wasn’t supposed to think like that, but it was difficult not to. 

She sighed as she got in her car. She’d go pick up Kara, deliver her back to her dorm room, then come back and immediately text Non for Alex’s information so she’d be able to set up a second appointment.

A second one.

She knew this one had gone horribly, and she really had no reason to believe a second one would go any better, but…she couldn’t help but be excited at the thought of this happening again. More of Alex. All of Alex.

Part of her tipped dangerously into giddiness, and she nearly backed into the car parked behind her. She had no right to feel this giddiness given what a mess that had all been, but she felt it anyway. Even just thinking about it happening again made her feel strangely relaxed. Apprehensive, but…in a good way, in a way that unexpectedly put her at ease, and she smiled to herself, feeling warm.

*

Now, all of this was nice for Astra, that she was having these feelings for perhaps the first time in over a decade. Nice that she had something to look forward to, even something that knocked her ego down a couple pegs. But there was a slight problem with it.

The problem of course, which Astra would not learn for quite some time, was that Alex was not a prostitute. Not even remotely. 

Alex was a masseuse, part-time, who was often hired by highly stressed-out professors on campus in need of a nice massage to ease the tension in their neck, shoulders, and lower back. She also did scalp massages, hand massages, and feet, though those came with an extra fee. 

So here are Non’s words, which Astra so egregiously misunderstood, in their _actual_ context:

**-Frustration** = Frustration with work, family life, and other daily stresses 

**-Easing tension** = Literally easing tension in the neck, back, and shoulders

**-Working out stress to reinvigorate the body** = Ultra stressed people usually retain a lot of stiffness which can lead to the body not functioning the way it normally would. Massage can help with that

**-Physical Intimacy** = Exactly what a massage is. It’s physical, it’s also intimate, i.e., a personal, one-on-one experience as opposed to group activity

**-Release** = A release of tension in the muscles

**-Satisfaction** = Physical and emotional satisfaction because your muscles are no longer in a pretzel shape

**-Human connection** = Synonymous with item 4, Physical Intimacy

**-Companionship** = You are with another human being, occasional conversations take place which can feel good for a lonely person

**-Companionship with regards to physical intimacy with a stranger** = ...Massage. Everything on this list is about massage.

 

And most importantly, all of this was with relation to:

**-Alex Danvers**

 

And one more time, just to be clear:  
****

**-Alex Danvers** = Not a prostitute

 

Needless to say, this particular evening was one of the most startling and bewildering experiences of Alex’s entire life, and she had absolutely no idea what to do with herself to prepare for a second session as a not-prostitute who had apparently just become a prostitute.

 


	2. Starter Pack

Kara didn’t drink, and Alex wasn’t sure if that was just because she was still underage by a couple moths, or if there was some other reason. Whatever that reason was, though, Kara was probably the best roommate in the world, because in spite of not being a drinker herself, she still always made sure their dorm room was well-stocked with alcohol for Alex. And maybe the most satisfying thing about that was that it wasn’t purchased, it was “borrowed” from her asshole of a boyfriend, Mon-El. 

Alex considered it a point in her favor that Kara took from that jerk to provide for her. And Mon-El always acted like it was all good, all cool, all buds, all pals, all fam, all this, all that—but it was pretty clear he was not a happy camper when he learned it was Kara who kept sharing the wealth with Alex.

Fuck him. If he absolutely _had_ to be part of her life, at least he provided a service—better still that he wasn’t happy about providing said service.

Alex tossed her jacket over the back of the couch as she made her way to the counter toward a brand new bottle of Jameson. Her favorite. Kara had drawn a smiley face on it, and Alex grinned in spite of herself. To think she’d been resentful of Kara when they were growing up—this awkward little new kid who lived down the street from her, the little cousin of her dad’s friend, Clark. And Alex was always charged with looking after her, showing her around at school even though Alex had almost five years on her. Kara was smart, leaping ahead a few grades so she was only one beneath Alex. Constantly clinging, following her around. 

Alex had been grateful to be rid of her once she went off to college, but once they reunited a couple years later when Kara transferred to NCU as well, they’d hit it off as if they’d been friends forever. Amazing what a couple years of maturity could do to a person.

And then for Kara to have offered for Alex to stay with her in student housing while she got enough money together to get an apartment of her own—that was beyond generous. It also wasn’t strictly legal, now that Alex was no longer a student here—just as it wasn’t strictly legal for her to be able to just waltz around on school property without permit in order to give her clients their one-hour relax gigs during work hours. But Kara always let her borrow her student ID, and no one here was very consistent about checking, anyway.

Many a time, Alex had reminded Kara that she wouldn’t hold it against her if she needed to kick her out one of these days, but Kara always waved her off. 

“After all the times my cousin had you take care of me, I’m happy to return the favor for once,” she had insisted. “Besides, I’d probably starve without you.”

That was probably true. Kara couldn’t cook for crap, but if someone told Alex that her appetite rivaled the appetite of an elephant, she wouldn’t be surprised. So the least she could do to thank Kara for all her hospitality was to shower her with food, and she did so in excess. It was all take-out and delivery, but still. It was the best take-out and delivery in town. And she was sincere about never holding it against Kara if she needed to kick her out, but she was unbelievably grateful not to have to go back and live with her mother where her failure to complete medical school would drip into every conversation they had with one another.

Kara was a life saver.

Her hero.

Her alcohol-stealing little sister-type, and she loved her to pieces.

She loved her especially tonight, though. That beautiful new bottle of Jameson…Alex might need to drown herself in that tonight. Because what…what in the hell…how was she supposed to deal with…everything…that had just happened?

Holy shit, what the fuck even _had_ just happened?

She grabbed a glass from the rack of clean dishes on the counter and unscrewed the bottle, pouring in…a totally appropriate amount, given the circumstances. Then she went over to the couch, sat on the edge of it, took out the three twenties in her pocket, put them on the coffee table, and stared at them. For a long time. Just…stared at them. She took a sip from her glass every so often. And continued to stare.

Her mind was being irritatingly silent, for once. While in most situations it tended to fire on all—not even _four_ cylinders, more like _forty—_ it was absolutely silent in there this time. And blank. It wasn’t giving her _any_ clues on how to respond to what had just transpired.

She jumped when she heard the door open behind her, cocking her head with some confusion as Kara dragged herself inside, looking distracted. When her eyes fell on Alex though, she smiled.

“Hey, you got my present!” she said, pointing at the whiskey.

“I did,” Alex said, holding her glass up in a kind of toast. Then she frowned. “You’re home early, I thought you were staying with the boy tonight.”

“Oh. Yeah.” Kara hung her jacket over the stool at the counter, heading for the fridge. “That didn’t really…it didn’t really work out.”

Alex perked up curiously. “Didn’t work out, like…forever?” she asked, trying not to sound too hopeful. 

Kara glanced at her over her shoulder. “…No, I mean, we can work it out, there was just some stuff…” she trailed off grabbing the giant tub of ice cream in there.

Alex put her glass on the coffee table and turned to face her more fully, bristling. “Kara, did he do something to you?”

Kara rolled her eyes. _“No,_ Alex,” she said. “Look, I know you hate him, but that doesn’t mean he’s this violent, girlfriend-beating psycho. If _that_ happened, _then_ we’d be over.”

“So…if I were to pay him to punch you, you’d end it?” Alex asked slyly.

Kara snorted a little in spite of herself. “No. Maybe. No, he was just…being a jerk today. We were supposed to meet up, but there was this…I don’t know, he was stupid, there was this girl…whatever…I tried to get home, but I forgot my wallet so I couldn’t take the bus, so I was stuck there on 4th, and I had to call and get a ride home…it was just a whole thing, and I don’t wanna talk about it anymore. I just wanna hang out with you and Ben and Jerry.”

Alex narrowed her eyes searchingly. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure. Here, scoot over, I wanna hear about your day,” Kara said, pushing at her with her foot to get her to move over. She sat down with a long sigh once Alex obliged, opening the tub of ice cream. She nodded at the three twenties on the coffee table. “Looks like you had a successful day working out knots, anyway. Any weirdos this time?”

“Um…”

“Like that weird French professor? Du Bois, or whatever?” Kara shuddered. “She’s so creepy. And all that perfume she wears? And then you told me she always kisses you on the cheek when you’re done? Ugh. Gross. You _know_ in her head she’s getting way more than just a massage out of it.”

“Hm,” Alex said, pressing her lips together uncomfortably.

Kara looked at her strangely. “What is _that_ face you’re making?” she asked. Then she laughed. “Did you get someone weirder than du Bois?”

“Uh…I don’t know if…weird? Kinda…I mean not…bad…or…”

“Alex.” Kara looked at her firmly. “Spill. If you don’t tell me now, you know I’m just gonna keep plying you with alcohol until you just babble about it all night. Come on. Please?”

Alex looked at her for a long time, then decided…fine. Fine, she needed to tell _somebody_ in order to figure out what to do.

“I, uh,” she said. She reached for her glass and took a small sip, like it could protect her from Kara. “I think I kinda might have just become a prostitute,” she mumbled.

Kara blinked at her. “What?”

“Accidentally.”

_“What?”_

“I mean, not like in _general,_ just to this one client—“

“Alex— _what?”_

“There was a misunderstanding!” Alex exclaimed, putting her hands up against Kara’s sputtering. “This woman kinda thought like—I mean, I don’t know exactly how she came to this conclusion, but I guess she thought I go around banging professors to help them deal with stress? I don’t know…”

“What kind of crazy person would make that kind of assumption?” Kara demanded wildly, eyes the size of ping pong balls. “You should report her to someone! I mean, you at least stopped it, right? Tell me you stopped it…” Her eyes fell on the three traitorous twenties on the coffee table. “Oh my god, you didn’t stop it.”

“I mean, it kinda stopped by itse—“

“Alex, I know you, you _never_ would have let it go on unless…” she trailed off, a goofy grin starting to form. “…Unless you liked it—did you know this person already?”

“I…kinda.”

“And you like her! Oh my god this is so weird and exciting.” She kicked her feet excitedly, leaning in. “Who was it? Do I know her?”

“I don’t think I can tell you,” Alex said, creasing her brow in thought. “I mean—there’s gotta be some kind of client confidentiality with this sort of thing, right? Is there? I mean, I don’t know the rules on this.”

“Oh, come on, you’ve gotta give me a name,” Kara whined. “Please?”

“Not her real name,” Alex said, shaking her head. “I don’t wanna get sued or whatever if this whole thing goes…bad. But I will tell you…it’s Professor Hot Stuff.”

“Professor Hot Stuff?” Kara exclaimed, excitedly. “Oh my god, you haven’t talked about Professor Hot Stuff since you saw her at the gym that one time. When you couldn’t shut up about her.” She pouted. “But you never told me her name _then_ either, because you’re a big secretive jerk. Seriously, you need to start _telling_ me who your crushes are so I can actually get you together with them.”

“I never tell people who my crushes are, they’ll know my weakness if I do.”

Kara rolled her eyes. “Fine. Well.” Her eyes lit up all excited again. “So, was it, I mean, was it…good?”

Alex dropped her head back against the couch. “Ugh, no,” she sighed. “I mean—not ‘no’ because it wasn’t good, it just got interrupted. Her niece called her in the middle of it.”

“Oh, that sucks,” Kara said, wrinkling her nose.

“Yeah,” Alex agreed. “‘Cuz I mean, it _was_ good up until that point. Well, actually it was super awkward at first. Like, it took me a really long time to figure out what was going on, and then when it hit me, I wasn’t sure if I should tell her…but then I didn’t want to make things even _more_ awkward, and she…I mean, listen, there’s a _reason_ I call her Professor Hot Stuff, you don’t even _know.”_

Kara grinned.

“So I kind of just…went for it,” Alex continued, flicking absently at her glass. “And we were _just_ at the making out stage when the stupid niece called, but then— _then,_ she _still_ insisted on paying me the whole sixty dollars, even for just that, and then she wanted to make a second appointment with me.”

Kara cackled. “Oh, my god.”

“So now I have to figure out how…like, how do I be a prostitute?” Alex exclaimed. “Like, what if she’s into something weird? Or what if she…I mean, should I get things? I mean, you’ve gotta be prepared if you’re a prostitute, right? Like different…should I go to a sex shop and get stuff? Toys? Do I have to know fancy tricks? Do I have to get weird outfits—like, a maid outfit, or a cop outfit…?”

Kara was giggling delightedly at her plight, and Alex hit her with a pillow. “I’m serious!”

“I _know_ , that’s why it’s so funny!” Kara laughed. “You actually really like her!”

“Yeah, well—whatever.”

Kara sobered a little, still clearly trying to stifle giggles. “You know, you _could_ just tell her, ‘hey, I’m not actually a prostitute, but I really like you anyway, let’s go get dinner or something.’ That might be a good idea.”

“I can’t do that,” Alex said shaking her head.

“Why not?”

“Kara, she hired a _prostitute._ Well, she _thought_ she did, anyway. She’s obviously not looking for a _relationship_ , she just wants someone to get her off. People don’t hire prostitutes to _date_ them.”

“Well…” Kara pouted. “Fine. But you _are_ still planning on going for a second…appointment. Or whatever.”

Alex scratched the back of her neck. “I mean…yeah. Is that bad?”

“I don’t know. Probably.”

Alex sighed. “I’m probably still gonna do it anyway,” she said.

Kara grinned, then snorted, and Alex hit her with the pillow again. 

*

Okay, Alex thought the following evening as she shuffled down the aisle of the nearest sex shop google had pointed her to. Good Stuff, it was called. This wasn’t so bad. She could do this. She could totally probably guess what Astra might be into, what she should buy here that might really keep her…interested. Dildos of every size—Jesus, _every_ size, now that one just looked painful, who would _buy_ that…

…Alright, that one next to it looked good. Probably. Right? Right. And a harness. Did that fit it? She was going to say yes. She used to have one when she was in undergrad, but had tossed it urgently out the window when her mother had come to visit unexpectedly. Never saw it again.

Okay, let’s see, what else…handcuffs…definitely, those could go right in her shopping basket. Ooh, different flavored lubes and things. That could be fun? And…okay, wow, whips, that…seemed a little intense. Floggers, riding crops…maybe she should wait for Astra to specify if she wanted any of these things. But what if she wanted something like that right away and if Alex didn’t have one when she went there next she’d send her away and get a new prostitute? Okay…uh…the flogger. The really small one. She’d get the really small flogger. That looked the least menacing.

What else? All kinds of outfits here. Maybe go without those for now—Astra had seemed just fine with her in jeans and a T-shirt last time. Oh, lacy bra, though, with a little, probably-fake diamond at the center, that she could do. In the basket it went.

A collar…

…Yes. 

In the basket. 

Now, what else…?

“You finding everything you need?”

Alex jumped a good foot in the air, turning around to find just about the friendliest-looking customer service girl she’d ever seen.

“Uh…yes. I’m good.”

The girl looked over what she had in the basket. “Oh, good choices,” she said, seeming impressed.

Alex preened a little. “You think so?”

“Can I recommend a different harness though?”

Alex nodded eagerly, and let herself be drawn away. She was going to knock Professor Hot Stuff’s socks right off next time she saw her.

*

A week passed, and quite suddenly, it was the day of Alex’s second appointment with Astra.

Alright, so, jeans and T-shirt had worked on Astra last time. But not…she shouldn’t wear the _same_ ones, that’d look lazy. She wished Kara were here to give her some advice. Kara would be laughing hysterically at her, but at least she’d be able to point her in the right direction clothes-wise. 

But Kara had been scheduled for the early finals, finishing her last one the day before, so she was already on her way to the airport to go visit Clark, who had moved to Metropolis. So Alex was going to have to fend for herself.

Well, Astra really _had_ actually seemed to like how she’d been dressed before. Casual was good. So, maybe just _different_ jeans and T-shirt this time. And lacy bra underneath to make things a little sexier. A little…huh. She actually looked pretty good in that. Alright, good choices were made. Astra would probably like it.

She glanced at the clock. Fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes till appointment number two. She should leave now, give herself plenty of time. She looked herself in the mirror, huffing out a steeling breath. Okay. Experienced, totally-prepared, professional prostitute. That was her middle name. No problem. 

She picked up her duffel bag, the new one she’d gotten specifically to carry her menagerie of sex toys, and clung to it tightly, because there was a good portion of her that was terrified of dropping it on the walk over, only to have the entire menagerie spill all over the sidewalk for the world to see.

So she held the bag tight to her body as she made the fifteen minute walk over to Astra’s, trying to make herself believe she had nothing to worry about. She was providing a service that Astra wanted, they were both consenting, there was the added bonus of money, the _really_ added bonus that it was _Astra…_

She started to grin a little bit without thinking, and the sudden burst of excitement caused her to knock loudly on Astra’s door before she’d actually really mentally prepared herself for it.

Well, too late now.

She counted the seconds—exactly 30—and then the door was pulled open, and Astra stood there, in all her Professor Hot Stuff glory. That small, kind of tight smile that Alex really wanted to widen a little bit…she’d be willing to bet that smile would be a killer if she could get it to come out.

“Hi,” she said, making her way in as Astra held the door for her. She smelled really good. Even just passing by her through the doorway. She just smelled really good.

“Smaller bag this time,” Astra observed as she set the duffel bag on the floor.

“Huh? Oh…yeah. The one from last week was a…”

Table. It was a portable massage table.

“…a…some people don’t like to do all this—me—in their own beds, y’know, so I bring a…a portable table…thing…in case they want to do it on that…instead…”

One of the weirder lies she’d ever told, but Astra was nodding at her like that made some kind of sense.

Okay, roll with it.

“Yeah, I uh,” she said, regaining some confidence as she opened up the duffel bag for Astra to look at, “I just thought I’d bring some stuff over in case you were looking to fulfill any particular fantasies I could help you out with.”

Astra’s eyes widened as she looked over everything. “Wow, that’s quite a collection,” she said. She closed her hand over the flogger, holding it up, a sort of sideways smile playing at her lips as she examined it. “Exactly what kinds of fantasies do you think I have?”

“Oh, well, y’know. Anything. A prostitute’s motto is ‘Always Be Prepared’ so…”

Actually she was pretty sure that was the Girl Scouts’ motto, but close enough.

“It looks to me like you’re prepared for an evening in a torture chamber with…” Astra picked up the flavored lube, peering at it, “…strawberry flavoring.”

“Hey, I’ve had way, _way_ weirder requests than that,” Alex said with a shrug. “Torture chamber thing’s actually pretty standard.”

That was such an unnecessary lie. Why the hell had she just told that completely unnecessary lie? Trying to prove her prostitute cred? What the fuck was wrong with her?

But Astra was smiling, and it was a little bit wider than before, and it was really fucking pretty. More relaxed than she’d seemed last time. Alex was determined to get a full-on grin out of her today if it killed her.

“Well, I’m sorry to disappoint, but I’m afraid my fantasies for today are rather tame,” Astra told her, smile still there. “Just you, as is, will do just fine.” She extended her hand, taking Alex’s and beginning to lead her down the hall to her bedroom. 

The first time Astra had taken her hand, months ago at Non’s house party, it had been shaking, Alex remembered. She suspected it was a tremor brought on by the beginnings of a panic attack. And how hard she’d held onto her…Alex had wanted to tell her it was okay, wanted to comfort her, but she could tell how hard Astra was trying to pretend it wasn’t there.

This was nice, though. Astra seemed much more at ease than Alex remembered ever having seen her, pulling her into her bedroom with more fluidity to her motions. She stopped them when they got to the edge of the bed and turned to face her.

“So, I never really got a clear answer last time,” she said, tucking Alex’s hair behind her ear. She had this heavy lidded look that was just…mesmerizing, and Alex forgot to speak for a second.

“A…um, a clear answer on what?” she asked once her brain kicked in.

“Am I allowed to kiss you, or do I need to wait for you to act first?”

“Oh. Oh! No, yeah, you can go right ahead, that whole other thing was just a…just a thing, first-time…security…practice…but yeah, no, go right ahead.”

So she did. And it was…luxurious, Alex thought, for a kiss. Deep, and intense, slow with the promise of something harder, and darker, and rougher to come. That might have been the best part. The promise it had. Heat. Her heart was already starting to thump against her chest, pleasure sparking across her skin, making her shiver when Astra’s fingers curled back under the short hairs at the back of her neck, and scratched, and tugged a little. Then tugged a lot.

There was something irritating about it—it felt really good, but it was a sharp enough pain that instinct caused this sort of aggressive response in her, and she pushed Astra back onto the bed. She followed her down, managing to catch her breath for just a second as she followed Astra’s crawl backward to the middle of the bed before capturing her lips again, rougher this time.

Astra moaned, this really delighted sound, like this was _exactly_ what she was looking for. Her fingers returned to Alex’s hair, fisting it, pulling her in harder, and it was so _aggravating,_ and so fucking _hot_ at the same time that Alex dragged her lips over beneath her ear and starting _biting_ punishingly down the side of her neck.

Astra arched under her with another moan, triggering Alex to do the same as the vibrations resonated against her lips. She took mouthful after mouthful of Astra’s neck, all the way down to her shoulder, nipping and pulling, and that _had_ to be kind of painful, but Astra certainly wasn’t complaining. Both hands had found their way to Alex’s hair now, just raking through it this time rather than pulling, as Alex mouthed her way down further to her chest, kissing her breast through her shirt.

Astra’s body tightened and curled around her at the tease, and she took that as a good sign to straighten up and peel her shirt off, throwing it carelessly to the side. Astra stared up at her, pupils blown wide, and she ran her hands up Alex’s sides, sitting up, bracing her hand behind herself.

She leaned in, nosing at the diamond—or not-diamond—at the center of the bra. Alex let her hands fall to Astra’s head, fingers running through her hair, more of a massage than that painfully sexy pulling thing Astra had been doing to her before. Astra bit at the edges of her bra, down one breast, then the other, then paused at the diamond again. She looked up at Alex, brow raised.

“Real?” she asked breathily.

“Probably not,” Alex laughed, nearly as out of breath, and Astra grinned—she fucking _grinned,_ Alex _won—_ and she bit it playfully anyway, hands coming up to pull at the clasp at her back.

Alex sighed happily as it was pulled from her, and Astra nuzzled into her, licking, then nipping experimentally—Alex gasped a little—then sucked soothingly, humming against her skin. Her hands wandered down to Alex’s ass and squeezed as she sucked, and that wasn’t fucking fair, so Alex took her face in her hand and kissed her hard before reaching down to tug at the hem of Astra’s shirt.

Astra helped her pull it off, and god fucking damn. She’d been wearing a tank top when Alex had seen her at the gym, so she hadn’t gotten the full visual, but Jesus Christ if those weren’t abs of fucking steel. 

Deciding there was absolutely nothing in her life more important than biting her way down those, she pushed on Astra’s shoulders to get her down flat again. And actually…actually, she got a little distracted on her way toward the abs by the whole…boob…situation. Alex could admit to a slight fixation—maybe a major fixation, and that really seemed like…

Okay, that bra needed to get out of the way, pronto. She reached underneath Astra, getting her to arch so she could undo the clasp, and dragged it away from her, dropping it on the floor. 

So those…those were nice.

She bent and nosed at the center of her collarbones before kissing her way down to her left breast, latching on and sucking, and okay, now her head was spinning a little, a lot, and Astra’s fingers were in her hair again, only they were doing that comfortable scratching and raking thing, from the top of her scalp, down to her neck, and back up, and back down, and around, and Alex moaned, bending her neck and pushing so she could grind herself down.

Astra arched again, this time with a much louder moan, and Alex let go of her nipple, dragging her lips back up to her throat to feel the vibrations of that moan, opening her mouth and sucking at where she felt it the most.

They were both pushing into each other now, and Alex was at a good 90% of completely forgetting that she was just a prostitute and this wasn’t real, and maybe it _could_ be real, just like this, and more…

So, of course.

The fucking.

Phone.

Alex face-planted into the sweep of Astra’s neck as that fucking ringtone from last time split through the air.

_“Please_ tell me that is not your niece again,” she groaned against her skin.

But Astra was wriggling under her and flung her arm out to the nightstand, grabbing her phone and sitting up to answer it.

“Little one?” she asked into it.

And there was talking on the other end and Astra straightened a little, and what the fuck, _again?_ Alex would feel bad if this was like a major emergency, but Astra didn’t seem to be freaking out at whatever “Little One” was saying, she was just bristling, annoyed.

So Alex leaned into her, kissing her shoulder, the back of her neck, sighing when Astra leaned back against her even as she continued to talk over the phone, free hand coming up to twirl idly in her hair.

Alex hated that phone. Astra needed to know how much she hated that phone. So she burrowed into the back of her neck and started in nipping again, and when Astra tensed, she kissed instead, and sucked, draping her arm across her waist, and Astra went a little comfortably limp, allowing it for a moment as her niece talked on the other end before finally straightening up again, breaking away from Alex’s hold.

She hung up, then turned to look at Alex.

“You’re kidding,” Alex groaned before she even said anything.

Astra sighed, shaking her head. “I’m sorry.”

“I mean, don’t—no, don’t be _sorry._ I didn’t mean it like that, _I’m_ sorry, that was…really stupid of me.” Alex could have smacked herself. “I didn’t mean…Is everything okay? Is your niece okay?”

Astra’s expression softened and she nodded. “She’s fine.”

“But you have to go get her.”

“You remember how I mentioned the idiot boyfriend last time?” Astra asked.

Alex nodded. 

“He was supposed to drive her to the airport today. She’s on school break, she was going to fly out and see my nephew…and the idiot never showed up. So now she’s having to reschedule the flight, and she’ll need a ride from me…”

Alex made a face. “No offense, but her boyfriend sucks.”

Astra nodded in agreement. “I don’t think you understand the violence I wish to rain down upon this Mon-El character,” she said.

Alex paused, cocking her head. “Mon-El?” she asked.

“Yes, it’s a stupid name, I know…”

“No, I mean, I think I know that guy. I mean, I _know_ I know that guy. He’s dating your niece?”

Astra nodded hesitantly, clearly wondering where this was going.

Alex shook her head, unable to believe it. “He’s dating my roommate,” she said.

The two of them stared at each other a long time, then both groaned in exasperation at the same time.

“He’s cheating on my niece with your roommate!” Astra murmured.

“He’s cheating on my roommate with your niece!” Alex exclaimed.

Astra picked up her phone again. “I need to tell her right away,” she said, anger rising up through her voice. “He needs to be out of her life this instant.”

“Wait,” Alex said, stopping her hand on the phone. “Look, my roommate’s headed out of town today, too. I don’t think it’s fair for us to tell your niece he’s cheating on her, but not my roommate. I don’t want there to be conflict between the girls, that’s not fair. Why don’t we wait until they’re both back, then we can break the news to them at the same time, and then all four of us can go…beat him up and throw him in a river somewhere. Then we can all go out for drinks and celebrate. I mean, my roommate’s underage, but I’m sure we can figure something out.”

Astra smiled. “My niece is underage too, and normally I wouldn’t condone underage drinking, but if it were in celebration of the violent end of her relationship with Mon-El, I would probably concede to it,” she said.

Alex grinned, sighing when Astra leaned in and kissed her again. “I’m sorry I have to cut things short again,” she said once they separated.

“Well, we got farther than last time at least,” Alex said, “if the bras-on-the-floor situation is anything to go by. Hey, maybe if we keep working at this, one of us will be able to come by the end of the month.”

Astra actually laughed. Kind of a snort, actually, as ungraceful as could possibly be, cheeks coloring just to make it even more ridiculous, and Alex had to kiss her again. Had to. Just for a second—couple of seconds—before Astra finally pushed her gently away, smile still there.

“You’re right,” she said. “We’ll wait until both our girls are back, then we’ll get this all sorted out.”

Alex nodded, grateful. The last thing she wanted was for Kara and Astra’s Little One to make enemies of one another because of this sleazebag who happened to be using them both.

“You know, um, in the meantime before they get home,” she added, “my schedule’s pretty open. And—“

Prostitute. She was supposed to be a prostitute.

“—Well, _pretty_ open, I just mean there are less people around during the holidays, and I have a…a holiday discount, if you’re interested. Comes down to fifty an hour.”

Surprisingly, Astra frowned. “Alex,” she said sternly. She shook her head. “You need to be charging so much more.”

That was…unexpected. And…sweet? Definitely good for her ego, anyway.

“That is, you should be charging easily double,” Astra went on.

_Really_ good for her ego.

“More, even. You’re worth…” she started to reach her hand out, seemingly to stroke Alex’s face, but then stopped abruptly, blinking, like she’d just caught herself doing something she hadn’t meant to.

She turned away from Alex and bent over, picking up the shed bras and shirts. 

“You should just be charging more,” she mumbled, re-clothing herself. “It’s not financially responsible to charge so little, particularly if you have to be purchasing all those…toys…all the time for all your various clients.”

…Oh. That wasn’t as flattering. _Financially responsible?_ Alex deflated a little bit, ruffling her hand through her hair to get it back to its normal self, instead of looking like she’d just been making out with…well, a wild cat, kind of.

“Well…I’m not sure my regulars will appreciate a hike in my prices, but I guess I could charge more for new clients?” she offered. _Offered. Prostitutes didn’t offer. Probably._

“Well then let me be your first new client,” Astra said, standing and walking over to her bag. She fished out her wallet and pulled out…definitely more than three twenties.

Six…?

Oh, shit. Now her stomach was doing a guilt thing. A major guilt thing. Fuck.

She tried to look excited as Astra pulled her to her feet and pressed all fucking six twenties, all fucking hundred and twenty dollars, literally just for making out with her, into her hand.

“Now, I’m really sorry to kick you out again, but I really do need to get my niece before she misses a _second_ plane,” Astra told her. Her voice was stiffer than before. Well. Session was over, so, Alex guessed there wasn’t any real reason for her to be feeling affectionate toward her.

“Yeah, it’s no problem,” Alex said with a shrug, letting her tone cool as well. “I’ll just wait to hear from you so we can set up another appointment.”

She followed her out to the front door, shoving one hundred and twenty fucking dollars into her pocket, kind of considering dropping them on the floor instead, or leaving them on the counter or something. But Astra turned to her as they reached the door.

“Don’t forget your bag of fantasies,” she said, nodding to Alex’s duffel. The duffel Alex really didn’t want to have to keep carrying back and forth from Astra’s to hers.

“Oh. Right. Those are actually…yours now.”

Astra raised an eyebrow curiously.

“Yeah, it’s a…starter pack thing I get for all my repeat clients, y’know, the ones who don’t have their own collections already, I mean.”

Astra looked at her dubiously. “A starter pack.”

“Yeah, it’s…pretty standard. I’ve got the hookup at Good Stuff, y’know. I’m kind of a regular there.” She gave an immodest shrug.

Lies lies lies lies lies. And not even _good_ ones. A fucking _starter pack?_ Prostitutes _buying_ their clients _starter packs?_   What fucking bullshit was she even trying to pull?

But Astra was nodding in slightly confused understanding, as if this made any kind of sense whatsoever, and Alex was overwhelmingly grateful that she was new to this.

“Well, thank you, I suppose,” Astra said. She opened the door, hesitating before she let Alex go by her. “And thank you for being understanding about my niece. I’m sure it’s starting to look like we’re both a little clingy towards one another, but we just reunited for the first time last year since she was a baby. I just want to make sure I’m always there for her, and I think she actually feels the same way.”

Shit. That was actually kind of sad. Alex was an idiot, getting mad about “Little One” wanting to stay in touch with her aunt.

“Seriously, don’t worry about it,” she said quickly. “We’ve gotta be there for the people we love. I know if anything was going on with my roommate, I’d be jumping out the door, too. She’s like family to me. So I totally get it.”

That tight smile was back on Astra’s face, but it seemed genuine. 

“Anyway. Till next time,” Alex said, shuffling through the door. It seemed like a sort of long-ish time before she heard the door close behind her, like maybe Astra was watching her leave. Or something. Probably not.

She clapped her hand to her face, forgetting she was in public. Because now she was guilty, she was confused, she was fucking _horny,_ kind of sad, anxious, horny again, and really fucking hoping she’d hear from Astra again, soon.

Stupid. She checked her watch. At least she had a fight later tonight to look forward to. Maybe punching her frustration into someone else might let her blow off a little steam in any case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the plot thickens...


	3. The Collar

Astra decided not to look at the clock the following morning once she got out of the shower. That way, she wouldn’t have to admit to herself how long she had been staring at herself in the mirror, particularly at the pattern of bite marks spreading down her neck and chest. 

Ten marks. Nine spanning from just below the corner of her jaw, down to her shoulder, and down again to her chest. The tenth was toward the back of her neck just behind her ear, and she’d almost missed it. Alex must have given it to her when she had been on the phone with Kara, when she’d kept kissing her despite the interruption. It was her favorite. More private than the others.

Ten perfect marks. They wouldn’t last long, she knew. A couple of days. She glanced at her phone, wondering just exactly how embarrassed of herself she would be if she took a picture of those marks. 

On second thought, no, that felt a little too obsessive for her to okay with. Even…creepy, for lack of a better word. Better just to admire them now, and hope for more to come.

But the private one behind her ear…well, maybe she could take a picture of just that one. There was just something about it, the fact that Alex had given it to her while she was otherwise distracted. And of course, Alex had been in her own little haze of lust that perhaps manifested itself through oral fixation on anything within reach, but it seemed to have been so casually given. Affectionate. And somewhat possessive.

Enough. She forced herself away from the mirror and over to the closet to begin getting dressed for the day. That was a dangerous thought process she had just been headed toward. Of course she wanted Alex. She would never try to fool herself into thinking otherwise. But in practice, her desire for Alex the Person needed to be kept in check. Being physically satisfied by the marks Alex the Prostitute had given her was fine—wanting to _preserve_ those marks, especially the private one, by imagining they were given by Alex the Person, was inappropriate. Perhaps even invasive. 

She may have just gotten _herself_ into a mess, but she refused to bring Alex into her whirlwind of fantasies and insecurities.

Although, speaking of fantasies…

She made her way into the kitchen where Alex had left the duffel bag filled with toys. Ringing her wet hair dry, she sat, looking them all over, and felt…a little inadequate.

There was so much here…were these the types of things Alex was used to doing? So much gadgetry. And this was just the _starter pack,_ Alex had told her. So presumably, there could be expansion kits, add-ons, deluxe editions…maybe she should go out and see if she could find some of those to make sure Alex would always be entertained whenever she came over.

Embarrassingly enough, Astra wasn’t even sure where to start. Non had never been particularly adventurous in bed, and Astra herself had never felt any particular desire for the odds and ends one could purchase—getting lost in mouths and hands and flesh and the full range of senses that were put into play during sex had always been enough for her. She had always preferred sensory sex to toys.

Not that she couldn’t see the appeal of some of these things. The flogger still made her smile in amusement. It piqued her curiosity, but perhaps not to the extent of wanting to try it herself. _Maybe,_ though. She’d give it some thought.

The collar…she really liked the collar. She liked the implications of ownership, and convinced herself that as long as it remained within their sessions, it could stay safely within the realm of pure fantasy. 

It could blur some lines, though. Possessiveness…she had just talked to herself about this. Possessive feelings were not a good way to go.

But if nothing else, the collar was aesthetically pleasing. Yes, from an aesthetic standpoint, she supposed there was no harm in bringing it into their sessions.

The handcuffs, though…she paused, frowning. She didn’t like these. Things like this demanded trust between partners, and the idea that Alex might use these on herself with clients she didn’t know, whose tastes and temperaments were impossible to predict…

Astra zipped the bag closed. There was something she needed to get before she saw Alex next.

*

National City wasn’t known for its freezing cold weather, but it still had its moments of dropping into the 40s in December. It was enough so that most people, unaccustomed to anything other than 75 would burrow into jackets and scarves and woolly hats. Astra had spent several years traveling when she was a child, and again in between her abruptly shortened military career and her decision to go into higher education, so wasn’t a complete stranger to the cold. Still, 42 degrees was plenty chilly, and normally she would have been a bit more bundled up at this temperature.

Today, though, she couldn’t help but leave her jacket open, and allow herself a low-cut shirt to display her bite marks to the world. It was unlike her, really, to flaunt such things. In her twenties she had been prone to showing off battle wounds—whether from actual battle, or simply injuries received hiking, exploring…she did get a sense of satisfaction from putting them on display. Scars, bruises—the ones that intimidated rather than the ones that encouraged questions from others.

But these weren’t battle wounds. These were teasing, if anything. A dare. Something aggressively carefree that she hadn’t felt in a long time. It was a wonderful feeling.

…Until she ran into someone she knew.

“Non!” she exclaimed as she nearly walked into her ex-husband coming out of the Army Surplus.

He raised his eyebrows as he took her in.

“What happened to you?” he asked, looking pointedly at her neck.

Astra held her head high. Flaunting her bite marks to strangers was certainly one thing—having them noted by her ex-husband who had set up the entire situation which had granted her these marks in the first place was something else.

Still, after a moment of embarrassment, a strange feeling of smugness came over her. Pride.

“Well, I followed up on the appointment you made for me with Alex Danvers,” she answered.

“I’m glad to hear it, you do look more relaxed,” he said, “but I meant what happened to your neck?”

“I just told you. Alex. She was very thorough.”

He peered at her closely. “It looks like she was pretty rough with you,” he said, seeming confused. “And in an interesting place. I don’t believe they’re supposed to leave marks like that. I’ve never seen any of her other clients marked up the way you are.”

Astra held her head even higher, doing her best to clamp down on the most pleased feeling she’d ever had. 

_Alex had marked her in a way that she hadn’t marked others._  

She knew the younger woman had been passionate during their two encounters—passionate almost to the level that Astra had wondered if maybe it had been real. So either she was very good at faking that passion, or else Astra might dare to hope that _she_ brought that passion out in Alex. After all, if she’d marked her— _her_ , no one _else—_ that must be a sign of…well, at least something physical. It hadn’t occurred to her until now that, as a prostitute, Alex was probably used to _giving_ pleasure, but perhaps not to _receiving_ it. Maybe Astra had provided just enough of that for Alex that she’d reacted in a way she wouldn’t normally.

Pleased heat ran all through her body at the idea, and the cold hardly touched her as she simply grinned at Non without response, and strode proudly down the street toward home.

*

Appointment Number Three had her feeling nervous again. After mulling over her newly-thought-out hypothesis about Alex being unused to _receiving_ pleasure after quite some time, she had resolved to make that her main priority this time around. There would be no tentative back and forth, no uncertainty—her primary goal above all other things would be to provide Alex with the most intense pleasure she could manage. She was determined.

She had spoken with Kara over the phone the night before, and she seemed in good spirits. It sounded as if she and Clark were very close, and she was having a good time being with him and meeting his new wife, Lois. In theory, she shouldn’t be receiving any inconvenient phone calls from her today. In theory, the evening should consist of nothing but her, and Alex.

Preparing herself for Alex’s arrival in…she glanced at the clock, twenty minutes…was different today. It required both very little effort, but also quite a bit of effort at the same time. 

The very little effort came from the fact that she had decided not to wear anything at all today. Nothing, except the collar around her throat, that is, so very little effort in getting dressed.

But also quite a bit of effort though, because it was taking more courage than she had anticipated to remain this way. 

Astra would never describe herself as insecure about her body—she was healthy, strong, well-shaped…and she didn’t mean any of this with ego, it’s simply what she saw in the mirror. In general, she was fairly happy with her appearance—perhaps even more so today. She let her hair fall in loose curls down her back, pleased even with the way her peculiar white streak curled comfortably with it. It helped frame her face well. And then to be completely naked, save for that slim black strip of leather around her throat, the steel ring looped into it that she suspected might be a link for a leash to be clipped onto…she liked this look on herself.

But at the same time, this nakedness invited a vulnerability she hadn’t shown for a long time. It had to have been… _years_ since she’d been fully naked in front of someone. Even with Non—well certainly toward the end of their marriage, but even before then—it was rare that she was ever _completely_ naked around him. It had to have been…perhaps _five_ years since she had been fully bared to anyone? 

It was a strange realization. Thrilling, and a little daunting, to have Alex be the first to see her in so long.

Not that Alex would care. Or understand. But maybe she would enjoy it at least. That’s what this evening was all about, after all. Pleasing Alex. Letting her enjoy one of these sessions for once.

But as luck—or the complete lack-there-of—would have it, the first person to see her completely naked in five years, was not Alex. It was a flower delivery man.

Astra didn’t shriek when she opened the door at the sound of the bell and found this pale, nervous little man waiting outside—shrieking was not in her nature. So she did the only thing her nature would allow her, which was to stand there, stalk still, with her head lifted high, as if there was absolutely nothing amiss.

“Can I help you?” she asked him tightly.

He stared, mouth hanging open, and eyes roving as if in panic, before freezing completely in what looked like very great effort to remain on her face.

“Ah—you, um…there’s…” he babbled, before seeming to find his brain. “These…these are a delivery. For you.”

He thrust them into her hands, then turned on his heel and sped away as if he were expecting, at any moment, to be killed horribly. 

Astra shut the door with a clenched jaw to clamp down extra hard on any feelings that might resemble embarrassment, and padded over to the kitchen to have a better look at these flowers.  It was a small bouquet, but a pretty one, clearly one ordered online or by phone to be delivered to her, rather than having gone to a florist in person. But who…

Astra’s fingers found the slip of paper wrapped around one of the stems, and she pulled it free, eyes zipping over it.

_Astra—_

_I texted you earlier, but I never got a response, so I’m not sure you received it. I’m afraid I won’t be able to make it to our appointment tonight, as I got pretty injured the other night and probably wouldn’t be able to give you a satisfactory performance. Insert winky face. Sorry if you didn’t get my text, hopefully these work as an apology until I can make it up to you. Please get in touch with me to reschedule an appointment asap._

_-Alex_

Several things went through Astra’s mind in quick succession:

 1) Disappointment

2) Look, pretty flowers!

3) Why flowers?

4) I am naked

5) The delivery man saw me naked

6) Alex did not see me naked

7) I did not see Alex naked

8) Disappointment, redux

9) Embarrassment, quickly cut off

10) Pretty flowers! redux

11) Extravagant…

12) Financially irresponsible

13) I am naked, redux

 …And then quite suddenly, terrifyingly, like a slug to the gut:

 14) How did Alex get hurt?

 She turned her head to the duffel bag, and to the present she had purchased for Alex lying beside it.

 15) I need to go find her

16) I need to go find her, urgently, right now, protect her, save her

17) I need to throw clothes on first

18) I can’t go find her, because I don’t know where she could possibly be

19) I am afraid

*

She texted Alex multiple times, trying not to sound too frantic in each one. She was a prostitute, not a friend, not even truly a lover, so this concern was really not hers to have. The note Alex had written for the bouquet didn’t seem to be fearful or hurt, nor did the text she had sent that Astra had missed. But still…

_Wow, 8 texts in an hour, gonna start makng me think you care about more than just my awesome sexiness ;)_

Astra sighed in relief at the sudden buzz of her phone.

_Have 9,_ she texted back. _Are you alright? What happened?_

_Nothing too bad. Comes with the job_

 Astra’s breath caught. What did that mean?

She looked over at the duffel bag again.

_Are you able to leave your home safely?_ she texted.

_…Sure?_

_I’d like to see you. Now. There’s something I need to give you. We can meet in a public place, I only want to talk to you, nothing else. I’m happy to pay for fifteen minutes of your time._

There was a long pause before the next text. Then:

_Please don’t pay me just to talk, Astra._

Another, shorter pause.

_Just tell me where you want to meet, I’ll be right there_

*

NCU was a peculiar set-up of a school. It had its own campus, to be sure, but some of the buildings bled out into the city itself, like different little secret passageways, or the tentacled arms of a monster.

Well that was bleak.

Astra was in a mood.

But the point of it being, there was no real “quad” to speak of—or there was, but it was very small. The nicer area, the more common area for both students and teachers to retire to, was an actual park—a large one, with a dog park, a pond, even some marble architecture littered throughout. It was here that Astra asked Alex to meet—private, but still public enough she hoped Alex would feel safe.

She picked a bench in a more remote corner of the park, but still with an open view so that there was no feeling of aloneness, and waited, nervous to see the injuries Alex had sustained.

She didn’t have to wait long—five minutes, she counted—before Alex made her way over, and Astra stiffened as her gaze fell on a black eye and split lip. She checked her instinct to stand and go immediately to her, and simply waited instead for Alex to sit down beside her.

“You okay?” were the first words out of Alex’s mouth, and Astra frowned.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” she asked sharply. She stopped herself from reaching forward, from running her fingers soothingly over Alex’s wound, and retrieved the present she’d gotten her from her coat pocket instead.

Alex flinched at the sight of the tiny, slim box.

“What’s that?” she asked.

“A gift.”

Alex really flinched this time. “I don’t…I don’t accept gifts from clients,” she said awkwardly.

“Please,” Astra insisted, holding it out to her again.

Alex hesitated, then gave her a resigned look and took it from her hands. She slid her finger along to get rid of the tape, then opened the box, frowning curiously, then popping her eyes wide in surprise.

“Holy shit, Astra.” She looked over her shoulder before pulling out the small, collapsable pocket schrade knife to examine. “What is this for?”

“I wanted you to have something you could carry to your appointments and have within your reach when you’re with clients,” she said. “I don’t mean it in an intrusive way, and I’m not trying to control your actions, but…you go to people’s homes, and other private places, you bring handcuffs, presumably other things meant to restrain—and of course, I feel there’s little to worry about if you’re restraining them, but if they’re restraining you…Alex, you can’t trust people.”

“I…”

“I promise I’m not trying to control your actions with this, I’m not trying to tell you to stop, I understand this is your job, and your choice for it to be so,” Astra interrupted. “I just want you to be safe. I mean—look at you right now! Is this something you can go to the police for? To anyone to keep you safe?”

Alex blinked at her, looking completely shocked. Then something seemed to dawn on her and she said, “Oh. Oh, Astra, no, these aren’t fro—“

“If you’re about to tell me those aren’t as bad as they look, I don’t want to hear it,” Astra interrupted coldly. Her voice was beginning to betray emotion, and she needed to reel that in quickly before Alex suspected her of having feelings toward her that went beyond a completely professional interest in her abilities to perform her job. “They’ve already gotten in the way of one of our appointments, I would prefer it not to happen again. For me, or for any one of your other clients. You charge too little as it is—missing appointments only makes it more difficult for you to support yourself.”

Alex just continued to look surprised, unsure, and Astra tried to figure out how to act. Maybe that had been _too_ professional. _Too_ cold. She sighed, closing Alex’s fingers over the knife. “Use it, or don’t use it—I just want to know that you have it,” she said.

Alex looked down at their hands, both closed over the knife, over each other’s, and Astra quickly let go, allowing Alex to examine the knife more closely. The young woman gave a low whistle after a moment.

“That’s some pretty serious military grade hardware going on,” she commented. “Not your every day Mom and Pop shop pocket knife.” She looked up at Astra and there was a surprising, teasing smile on her lips. “But still nice and mini for comfort and convenience.” She raised an eyebrow. “I think it might be kind of illegal to carry a concealed weapon.”

“I think it might be kind of illegal to be a prostitute,” Astra returned, voice softening slightly at Alex’s tease. 

“Hm,” Alex hummed thoughtfully, then her eyes fell to Astra’s neck, and she cocked her head with a slowly forming smile. “Is that…”

Oh, no. Astra had forgotten to take off the collar in her haste to get over here. “I…” she began pathetically.

Alex was smirking, though. Over-confident and irresistibly charming. “Did you get dressed up for me?” she asked.

Astra hesitated, then sighed. “Dressed _down_ for you,” she admitted, and Alex’s smirk grew. “I thought this might add something to the look, though.”

Alex reached forward, looping her index finger through the metal ring, and gave a small tug—not enough to pull Astra forward, but just enough for her to feel a brief pressure, a brief tightening. Heat swirled in her core, unbidden, and her gaze fell to Alex’s split lip.

She didn’t want to hurt her, but she leaned in, pressing her lips as softly as she could to her mouth. When she separated from her, Alex’s eyes were wide again, and Astra remembered what she was doing. She reached into her pocket, fishing out a twenty and pressing it into Alex’s palm.

“No—Astra, don’t pay me just for _that,”_ the young woman protested.

Astra frowned. “Why _wouldn’t_ I pay you for that?” she asked.

“Well—“ Alex broke off, then straightened back. “No, you’re right.” She held up the money, and the boxed knife. “Thanks for these. I really appreciate it.”

Stiff. Astra stood, Alex following her. “Text me when you’re feeling better, and we can set up another appointment,” she said. She allowed herself to soften slightly. “In the meantime, please be safe.”

Alex nodded, looking confused again, and Astra turned away to go home before she could give that look too much thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So…little shift away from the comedy in that last bit. I warned you there might be Feelings sprinkled here and there in this. Sooorryyyy.
> 
> Also, just want to let you know I probably won’t be able to update for like a week and a half? Hopefully it'll be before, but just in case, don’t want you to think I’ve abandoned you. Alrighty, till next time!


	4. Advice from Hollywood

Lucy cocked her head critically as Alex slid into the booth seat across from her at the bar, and swatted her hand away when she tried to reach for the beer she’d bought preemptively for her arrival.

“What?” Alex asked in affronted surprise at being rebuffed.

“I didn’t give you that,” Lucy said sternly.

“The drink? I just called you to order it for m—“

“Not that— _that,”_ Lucy clarified, looking pointedly at Alex’s face. The black eye. The split lip.

Alex licked her lips, caught. “Sure you did.”

Lucy shook her head. Annoyingly observant. “I kicked your ass in the ring the other night, but not _that_ badly,” she said. She fixed her sharply with another one of her more critical looks before sighing frustratedly. “Alex, you _didn’t.”_

“Didn’t what?”

“Don’t ‘didn’t what’ me, Alex,” Lucy snapped. “You went after Kara’s boyfriend, didn’t you.”

“I didn’t _go after_ him— _he’s_ the one who ran into _me_ at the bar. He fucking asked for it.”

“Unbelievable. I should’ve known you were still too riled up to be left to your own devices.”

“He’s cheating on her!” Alex exploded. “It’s not like I was going to go hunt him down or anything—“

“—says you—“

“—but wrong time, wrong place…”

“What the hell were you thinking going to a bar after our match anyway?” Lucy interrupted her. “Henshaw beats the shit out of you, then _I_ beat the shit out of you—“

“—you won on a technicality—“

“—so rather than go home and take care of yourself, and _sleep,_ you go out to a _bar,_ alone—and don’t pretend you didn’t know you were going to run into Mon-El there,” Lucy snapped. “Getting your ass handed to you twice in one night wasn’t enough? You needed to go get a black eye from a drunk frat boy, too?”

“Well he got two from me, so at least I’m ahead,” Alex grumbled.

 _“Alex.”_ Lucy sighed harshly again. “When Henshaw said you needed to get more experience fighting, he didn’t mean tracking down people you have personal issues with and taking your temper out on them. He meant more rounds in the _ring._ With me. Or with him. Or with Vasquez. With literally anyone, as long as it’s for actual _training._ Legal _training_ , Alex. You’re lucky Mon-El didn’t press charges.”

“He’s not gonna press charges, he’s got too much pride,” Alex said. “And _he’s cheating on Kara_. What’d you _expect_ me to do?”

Lucy drew her lips together tightly. “Exactly what you did,” she gave in, finally pushing the drink over so Alex could get her hands on it. “That doesn’t mean it’s _okay,”_ she added, as Alex took a grateful swig. “You seriously need to get a lid on your temper. I mean, you’ve always been protective when it comes to Kara, but ever since you dropped out of med school, you’ve been like a ticking time bomb. It was one thing when you were trading in drinking for training, but now you’re just training, and then drinking and picking fights with people.”

“With _one_ people,” Alex argued. “You’re acting like this happens all the time—this was _one time…”_

“Alex, I’m not…” Lucy took a steadying breath. “I’m not trying to start shit with you, okay? Just…word to the wise, alright? Henshaw isn’t looking to hire hotheads. One of the main reasons he’s even taken an interest in you is because of how _cool-_ headed you usually are when it comes to your work. But seriously, ever since you dropped out…”

“Temper. Lid on. Got it,” Alex mumbled. 

She dipped her head, but held Lucy’s gaze until the other woman finally gave in with an eye roll.

“Did you really give Mon-El _two_ black eyes?” she asked, curiosity seeming to get the better of her.

Alex cocked an eyebrow in silent answer, and Lucy smiled in spite of herself.

“Fine,” she sighed. “On a personal level, I guess that’s sort of awesome. Kara deserves endlessly better than him.”

“But you still had to chew me out for it.”

“It’s my nature. Sorry.”

“Mm,” Alex said understandingly as she took another sip. 

“Speaking of things you need to get chewed out for…” Lucy started to say, and Alex groaned.

“Why is hanging out with you always like seeing my mom?” she mumbled.

But Lucy was smirking, rather than seeming angry. “I talked to Kara on the phone the other day,” she said.

“Is she okay?”

“She’s great. Actually told me a funny story. About your new career.”

“Look, we’ve talked about this before—I know _masseuse_ isn’t exactly my calling, but it pays _way_ better than other part-time jobs, and I need _something_ to keep me afloat until I can get into Henshaw’s training program…”

“That’s not what I’m talking about,” Lucy interrupted, seeming to be attempting to stifle a grin. “I’m talking about your _other_ new career.”

 _“What_ other new c—“ 

Oh. 

For fuck’s sake. 

“I swear to god, Kara can’t keep a secret to save her _life,”_ Alex growled, making a mental note to smack her roommate upside the head next time she saw her.

“I should probably let you know,” Lucy said through a snicker, “prostitution isn’t exactly the best way to get accepted into the FBI training program.”

“Would you keep your voice down?” Alex hissed, looking around them. No one was listening—no one could hear them here, but this was the last thing she needed anyone finding out about. “It’s not like it happened on _purpose.”_

“Maybe not the first time,” Lucy said, “but Kara mentioned you went in for a second ‘appointment’ last week. And that you bought _toys_ for it.”

“I was just…” Alex cast her mind around for a good excuse—even a _mediocre_ excuse—and mostly found herself saying “uh” and “um” for about ten seconds straight before Lucy finally intervened.

“I’m sure Kara has already expressed this, but…you’re aware that this is one of the worst messes you’ve gotten yourself into, right?” she asked. “I know your love life has been pretty much nil for the past year, but this is definitely the worst solution you could have come up with to fix that.”

“That’s not what’s happening here!” Alex insisted.

“Alex, come on,” Lucy said, one eyebrow raised. “I know you. This isn’t something you’d let continue if you didn’t like it on at least _some_ level. Hell, I’m surprised you let it go on at all, _regardless_ of how you feel about it. You’re like…the poster child for self restraint. You know, aside from your whole…drinking problem.”

“I don’t have a drinking problem.”

“You do,” Lucy told her firmly. “Which, in addition to now going around being a _prostitute,_ just goes to show that you really need to find some kind of balance in your life. Trust me, I get the whole perfectionist thing, but if the only way you’re able to mellow out from that is by being a drunk, and starting fights, and allowing yourself to be paid for mindless sex, that’s pretty telling. Perfectionism and a pleaser attitude countered by illegal, sometimes even violent activity…those are some pretty intense extremes.”

Alex held her gaze stubbornly for a moment, before finally giving in with a sigh. “I hate it when you analyze me,” she said.

“You’re not as hard to read as you like to think,” Lucy told her, tone a little more gentle. “Even the masseuse thing is kind of telling. You’re touch-starved.”

“Excuse me?”

“Touch. Starved,” Lucy repeated, taking a sip of her own drink. “There’s all kinds of other part-time jobs you could have gotten, but you just wanted the excuse to be physically intimate without _really_ being physically intimate.” She looked down musingly at the pink contents of her glass. “I guess it’s not a huge surprise that you made this giant leap into paid sex,” she said, “especially given how hot Kara tells me this woman is.”

“Kara’s never even met her.”

“She told me your nickname for her is ‘Professor Hot Stuff,’” Lucy pointed out flatly. “That kind of speaks for itself.”

Alex blew out an annoyed breath. How was it that she always forgot Lucy would interrogate and analyze the shit out of her every time they met up? She loved Lucy, she did, Lucy was smart, and hilarious, and a total kick in the pants, but she could also see through bullshit in a snap, and unlike Kara, who was at least _nice_ about it, she would call Alex out on every single angle, _and_ hold her responsible for her actions, _and_ insist that she actually fix the situation.

Alex seriously wished she could hate her, and was constantly annoyed to find that she didn’t.

“So what’s your advice then, o wise one?” she grumbled.

Lucy raised an eyebrow. “To a _sane_ individual, I would recommend _not_ taking up any further appointments, and getting a restraining order if any problems arise from that,” she said. “For _you_ …I don’t know. That is, I _do_ know—prostitution is illegal, and also morally reprehensible for someone like _you_ , given that you have the privilege of _choice,_ rather than being trafficked in the way that over eighty percent of prostitutes in the US are…”

“Jesus, Lucy, I didn’t realize we were going to go down _this_ road…”

“…but ultimately, you _are_ in control of this entire situation, so…I guess it kind of comes down to your intentions here,” Lucy said. “Like, what is this to you? Some kind of fantasy fulfillment of your own? An excuse for easy sex? Or easy money? Thrill-seeking? And what about logistics? How safe is it to be around someone who is actually willing to break the law like this? Has she hired other women before? And what about health-wise? Is she clean? Are you?”

“I…” Alex floundered, head spinning at all this practical thinking. “I mean, _I_ am…and she’s…I mean I’m assuming…”

“…Yeah. _Assuming_. To quote Jack Crawford…”

“…Here we go…”

“‘If you _assume_ something, you make an _ASS_ out of _U_ and _ME_ both,’” Lucy quoted. _“Ass-u-me.”_

“Jack Crawford’s a fictional character. That expression was written by someone else…”

“I’m trying to appeal to your wannabe FBI side,” Lucy said sternly. 

“By quoting _Silence of the Lambs.”_

“‘It rubs the lotion on its skin…’”

“…Well, I _tried…_ Actually, I think I left that oil on her dresser…”

“Alex.” Lucy’s “serious voice” was back. “All other things aside…seriously, what is this to you? Why are you letting this drag on?”

Alex hunched her shoulders, disappearing into her beer for a moment. “I don’t know,” she said when she resurfaced.

“Bullshit. You always know. You overthink _everything._ That’s why this whole thing is so…confusing to me. The Alex Danvers I know _never_ would have gone through with something like this…”

“Look, maybe this is something I _don’t_ _want_ to overthink for once,” Alex snapped, surprising them both. Temper. Lid on. “I just…I know this is a mess. Okay? But it’s my mess, and I’m…I’m still working out what to do. Can we just leave it at that for now?”

Lucy surveyed her for a very long, appraising moment, then shrugged. “Well I hope she at least tips well,” she said diplomatically. “In the meantime though, I’m still going to try to set you up with a real woman.”

Alex allowed herself a small huff of a laugh. “A ‘real woman.’ I guess that sounds better. Less illegal anyway.”

 _That sounds better._ Well, it did sound better in some sense, she guessed. In _all_ senses, she corrected herself. But…she shoved her hand awkwardly into her pocket where Astra’s gift from earlier was, closing her fingers around the hard metal of the knife handle. Weirdly enough, one of the sweetest gifts she’d ever received. Astra…Astra _cared_ about her. On some level, at least. Maybe just a human decency level, not wanting the poor prostitute with the heart of gold to get hurt, but…

But nothing. She resisted the urge to smack her head forward onto the table, and pretended to look peacefully around the bar instead, taking in their surroundings. 

Actually…

“In case this is of any interest to you, Lucy, there is one very tall, dark, and handsome man headed your way,” she said, peering out into the crowd.

Lucy turned to look, then smiled brightly, waving at him.

“James!” she called, and the man squeezed his way through a small mob of giggly girls Alex very much suspected of not being of age to be here, in order to plop down into the seat next to her.

“Alex, this is my friend, James,” Lucy told her. “He just transferred here from Metropolis. James, this is Alex, the prostitute I told you about.”

Alex choked on her drink, barely keeping from spray-spitting it all over herself, only to end up coughing and hacking for a humiliating several seconds. 

“Lucy, what the fuck!” she exclaimed once she’d gotten ahold of herself.

Both Lucy and James were grinning, though, and Alex realized she was now fated to be the butt of every joke in the world for the rest of her life.

“Yeah, we’ve met before, actually,” James said, kindly making an effort not to laugh. “The last name’s Danvers, right? You used to kind of babysit Kara Zorel?”

Alex blinked at him for a moment before it suddenly clicked. “Oh my god, Jimmy Olsen!” she exclaimed. “Yeah, I remember you, Kara used to have the biggest crush on you when she was like thirteen.”

He cleared his throat, tugging awkwardly at his ear. “Yeah, we actually dated for awhile in high school after you left for NCU,” he said, and Lucy twiddled her thumbs absently. 

“Wow. Small world,” Alex said. She fidgeted. “I’m, um…I’m not _actually_ a prostitute, you know,” she added, mumbling. “That’s just…a joke Lucy’s been telling people…”

“Oh, Lucy told me the whole thing,” James assured her, nudging Lucy’s arm. “I don’t envy you for a second.”

“Great, that’s _two_ supposedly ‘best friends’ now who can’t keep their mouths shut,” Alex grumbled with a pointed look at Lucy. Lucy just shrugged with an annoyingly superior look on her face. “So, how do you two know each other?”

“We actually _also_ used to date,” Lucy told her, shooting James a look, and Alex suddenly started to feel a little awkward. 

“…Oh.”

“Relax, Alex,” Lucy said, reaching across the table and patting her on the arm, a little condescendingly. “That was a couple years ago, we’re just friends now. Actually…I’ve been trying to get James to track Kara down and rekindle that flame.”

Alex raised her eyebrows in surprise, looking back and forth between them. “Really?” she asked.

“Yes,” Lucy said.

“No,” James corrected, giving her a look. “You said Kara’s already in a relationship, I’m not gonna butt into that.”

“No, but you really should,” Alex said, raising her hand to emphasize her feelings on the situation. “You may have only been fourteen last time I saw you, but fourteen is the age when most kids are at their most angsty, and you were still just about the nicest guy I think I’ve ever met, even to this day.”

“Well…I…”

“Neither of you need to worry about it, I’ve already got a plan in place to get you two together,” Lucy said decisively.

“You do?” Alex asked, echoed quickly by James.

“I do,” Lucy said, nodding. “Though a big portion of it rests on _you_ no longer playing prostitute, Alex.”

 _“Me?_ Why is this resting on _me?”_ Alex demanded. 

“I’ve got a whole plan worked out in my head, trust me,” Lucy said, waving her off. “We’re gonna get you out of the sex worker business, Kara out of the shitty boyfriend business, James out of the loner photo journalist business…”

“…I’m not a loner…”

“…And I’m not _really_ a sex worker…”

“…But all of this does actually require everyone involved to act like adults,” Lucy continued over them, fixing them both with another critical look. 

“I’m not sure I like that you’ve orchestrated a plan for my future love life,” James ventured.

“Or mine, or Kara’s,” Alex put in. “Since when have you ever gotten involved in other people’s relationships?”

“Since everyone I know is in such _unhealthy_ relationships—or none at all,” Lucy told them sternly. “James, you’ve been a loner for way too long—and not in a healthy ‘I’m my own man, I don’t need no woman to complete me’ kind of way. You’re just… _lonely,_ I know you are. And Kara’s stuck with an emotionally abusive asshole, and Alex, you…I don’t even _know_ what to say about _your_ situation. None of you seem to be capable of fixing yourselves, so I’m working on a plan to fix you all myself.”

“Lucy Lane, the hero National City University deserves,” James drawled, catching Alex’s eye with a teasing smile.

Alex returned it to the best of her ability. Did she appreciate Lucy’s concern for them all? Yes. Was she a fan of getting Kara to be with a guy who would treat her the way she deserved to be treated? Absolutely. But this whole thing of Lucy telling her she needed to drop the sex work thing in order for this whole happy ending to take place…

…Of course that was good. Of course. _Prostitute_ wasn’t actually a thing Alex had ever planned on becoming, nor did she want to remain this way. Although…it just seemed like her only opportunity to see Astra, given that this was all Astra wanted from her. Which was stupid and everything, she knew that…

She suddenly became aware of the fact that James was looking at her carefully, head tilted like he was seeing something in her. It was unnerving. She looked down at her watch.

“You know…much as I love all this planning and plotting and judging…think I’m actually gonna head home early,” she said.

Lucy looked at her in surprise. “Already?” she asked. “You just got here—I was thinking the three of us would make a night out of it.”

“Maybe some other time,” Alex said, finishing off the last of her beer and standing. Lucy was looking at her with concern.

“Alex, I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable, I’m sorry,” she began earnestly.

“Don’t worry about it,” Alex assured her. “I’m just kinda tired, that’s all. Long day. You guys have fun catching up though.”

“Well—I’ll see you this weekend for training, yeah?” Lucy asked.

“Yeah, I’ll see you then,” Alex said, waving at her over her shoulder, trying to keep her expression light. She let it fall once she was far enough away, kicking irritatedly at a smooshed cigarette someone had dropped inside.

“Hey,” she heard someone call to her as she reached the door. She turned around to find James jogging over to her.

“Um, don’t…” He cleared his throat as he reached her, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Don’t kiss her on the mouth,” he said finally.

“Excuse me?”

“Your girl…woman…client…whatever,” he said. “You’re just…if you’re worried you might be having…feelings…for her. Just. Don’t kiss her on the mouth.”

She blinked at him. “What does _that_ have to do with anything?”

“Haven’t you ever seen _Pretty Woman?”_ he asked.

“…No. Have you?”

“Well, yeah.” He cleared his throat again. “So, Julia Roberts is a prostitute in it, right, and her main rule is not to kiss her clients on the mouth. It’s too intimate.”

“More intimate than sex?” Alex asked doubtfully.

“Yeah, of course,” James said. He looked completely serious, and she frowned. “Kissing on the mouth is more…emotionally involved. So I’m just…” he huffed out a breath. “Back at the table you had a look, alright? Like maybe you’re kind of into this woman, or maybe she’s too into you, and you’re trying to keep feelings out of it…just, if that’s the case, don’t kiss her on the mouth.”

“But—“

_But I like kissing Astra._

_I really like kissing Astra._

James was shaking his head awkwardly though, looking suddenly embarrassed. “Sorry, that was some totally unsolicited advice,” he mumbled. “And from Hollywood of all places. Don’t mind me. Just…have a good night, Alex.”

He trudged away, shoulders uncomfortably tight as he squeezed back through the crowd, and Alex watched him go with a deepening frown.

He was probably right, she thought. She _was_ getting too attached to Astra, she _was_ looking forward to seeing her way too much, she _was_ continuing this whole ridiculous charade just for the excuse of being with her…

So maybe this would be a good first step to getting rid of that attachment. No kissing, so it would just fade into nothing but sex, without emotion, maybe even without passion, which Astra would probably eventually get bored with, or move on from, and they could just…part ways. No awkwardness, no…nothing like _heartbreak_ or anything. Just…totally professional. A dignified end to a business transaction.

No kissing. 

She blew out a frustrated breath. 

God, this sucked.

*

All other unintentional sexual extracurricular activities aside, Alex did actually have legitimate _massage_ clients she needed to take care of. At the beginning of the Christmas/Holiday/Whatever-the-hell break, there were definitely less clients to keep her going. The large majority had family or friends or other obligations outside of National City, so pickings were scarce.

But the week before the new semester started up, her clientele suddenly skyrocketed as professors returned to school, already in panic mode—or, for those who didn’t believe in panic, at least irritation mode. These were mostly the older ones, the ones who knew enough by now not to give a shit about the influx of clueless undergrads they would soon be putting through their paces.

But panic, annoyance, or simply knots formed from long hours on planes or in cars…regardless of the source, Alex’s schedule was suddenly satisfyingly full, and money was a very nice thing to have. A couple more months of squatting in Kara’s dorm room, and she might actually have enough money saved up to set herself up with a pretty decent apartment. 

Money being nice and all, though, the busy schedule wasn’t leaving a whole lot of time for her and Astra to figure out another appointment. Astra was getting together her curriculum for the upcoming semester, and Alex very literally had her hands full, and nearly a full week went by before she had the chance to contact her.

Texting was coming up fruitless.

So…calling…?

Voicemail. Not leaving one of those.

Voicemail again. Still not leaving one of those.

Voicemail three times, and Alex decided she’d better stop trying before Astra finally checked her phone to find an embarrassing number of missed calls from Alex waiting for her.

Trying not to let the thought that it was getting this difficult to contact Astra bother her, she slid her jacket on, and swung her bag over her shoulder to head out to the Westing Building for an appointment with Claire du Bois. It was a ten minute walk, so she was going to be early, but someone down the hall from Kara’s dorm room had somehow managed to do something that had affected all the plumbing in the building, and the smell was nothing to laugh at. So she trudged on over, because even though Claire _way_ overdid it in the perfume department, she’d take sickly sweetness to whatever septic tank nonsense was going on in Kara’s dorm any day.

Claire wasn’t in her office yet, so Alex took out her phone while she waited and killed some zombies. A suggestion of Lucy’s to take care of any feelings of aggression. Start playing video games. Alex wasn’t actually sure that was great advice, but Lucy had said it was at least worth trying.

This one fucker though…she pressed randomly as hard as she could on the screen with her thumbs. Wouldn’t fucking _die_ already, stupid fucking zombie…

“Alex?”

Alex’s gaze shot up, and she was pretty sure her jaw actually dropped in surprise as she realized Astra was standing before her.

“Astra!” she said, quickly dropping her phone into her pocket. “How’ve you b—what’re you doing here?”

“This is where my office is,” Astra said, looking confused. “What are _you_ doing here…?”

She broke off awkwardly as her gaze fell on the name plate on Claire’s door.

“…Oh. Right. You have an appointment.”

“Uh…I uh…” For fuck’s fucking sake, what the fuck.

“I forgot you… _work_ …around here too,” Astra said, seeming to look anywhere but at Alex. “This is actually…I forgot, this is where I learned you were…that you…that this is your job.”

“What do you mean?”

“I saw you here,” Astra said with an embarrassed, harsh exhale. “A few weeks ago. I saw you come out of Professor du Bois’ office after one of your appointments, and how she and you…and the money…and then Non clarified everything for me…”

“Non—like your ex-husband Non?” Alex interrupted, a little shrilly. “He told you I was…?”

Non had told Astra that she was a prostitute? What even… _what?_  

“I guess he knew from a couple of his friends,” Astra went on.

…A _couple_ of his friends? Alex gaped. Were there just a shit ton of people out there who somehow thought Alex was a prostitute? Enough so that people who weren’t even her _clients—_ just random people she’d never even _met_ before thought, _Oh yeah, that’s the girl who bangs professors to help them deal with stress?_ Was there something she was doing that was somehow leading people to this conclusion? Some kind of _aura_ she was giving off? Did she have the word _whore_ printed across her skin somewhere, or something? Had someone stuck something to her back, like a _kick me_ sign, only it was a _fuck me_ sign instead?

“Anyway, I’m—“ Astra mumbled, still looking everywhere except Alex, “I’ll let you get to…get to work, I didn’t mean to…interrupt you before one of your appointments.”

“I—no, I’m not, um…I’m not here for an appointment,” Alex said quickly before actually thinking, wondering how exactly she was going to dig herself out of this one.

“Oh?” Astra asked, and maybe it was Alex’s imagination, but her expression seemed to brighten just a little bit.

“Yeah, I actually…just got out of a…just got out of a meeting with Claire—with Professor du Bois in there,” she said, jerking her thumb behind her at the door.

“A meeting?” Astra asked with confused, narrowed eyes.

“Yeah, I uh…I was actually hoping to take French from her this semester.”

Astra’s eyes narrowed further. “I thought you said you dropped out,” she said.

Shit.

“I did! From medical school, I mean. But I’m…going back to take some undergrad courses.”

“…In…French,” Astra said slowly.

“Well—not just French. A bunch of different languages. See, I’m…I’m applying to get into the FBI training program next year, and knowing a couple other languages is a bonus they look for.”

Okay, that was a surprise. Alex had actually just told a truth amongst the rest of her lies. Though of course the FBI thing was probably the part of it that actually _sounded_ most like a lie. Even though it was the truth. But not the language part. Although, she had just made a good point to herself, maybe she _should_ look into taking some language courses to strengthen her application…

 _“You_ are trying to get into the FBI?” Astra asked, her expression an absolute whirlwind of confusion. Then a kind of lopsided smile formed across her face. “So am I to be concerned the prostitute thing is just training of some kind? An exercise in undercover work? Perhaps you’re not even a prostitute at all.”

“Uh…!”

_That’s your in, Danvers! Tell her the truth! Clear things up here once and for all!_

_…But the prostitute thing is the only reason she’s interested in you at all. So if you_ do _tell her, you risk not getting to be with her again…_

“I’m only kidding, Alex,” Astra said, with a pitying sort of laugh at what had to be a completely stricken look on Alex’s face. Her smile softened. “I don’t imagine an undercover training exercise would include you actually having to go through with something like this.”

_…And there goes your opportunity._

“Well, I guess you never know,” Alex said, trying to recover into the actual present. “Haven’t actually applied yet, so who knows? Maybe I’ll be the go-to guy anytime they need a fake prostitute.”

Astra looked at her for a long time, that soft smile still there. “You’re really trying to get into the FBI?” she asked curiously, but also sounding…proud? Of Alex?

“Yeah, I really am,” Alex said, and wow, this was a new feeling. Telling Astra something true about herself. Seeing Astra actually seem interested to _know_ something true about her. It was almost like an actual conversation. Like…how people were actually supposed to get to know each other.

“I…like I told you, I was in school to be a doctor,” Alex said, emboldened by how good this honesty thing felt. “But on a whim, I kinda weaseled my way into an internship at the CSI. Medical examiner, y’know. And I actually kinda ended up helping them figure some stuff out, and they were able to make an arrest based on what I did, and it was just…kind of a cool feeling. When I took the internship, it was kind of just a joke thing, and then, I guess it sort of just stuck with me, and evolved into this FBI idea. Healing people is great, and so’s analyzing dead bodies to be honest, but I don’t know…putting away bad guys? Using science to do it? Getting to kick some ass?”

Astra grinned, and Alex felt her pride, or something, swell.

“It was just…felt more like a calling,” she finished.

Was that totally her imagination, or did Astra really look intrigued—like not just intrigued sexually, but just like…

“I can see you being a great asset to the FBI,” Astra said, voice all soft and sweet and probably going to be the death of Alex. Her smile became a teasing one. “Although maybe I should be concerned you’re going to get me in trouble for hiring a prostitute once you’re accepted into the training program.”

“Who says I’m actually gonna get in,” Alex said with a shrug.

“I have no doubt you will.”

Alex blinked, that abrupt and completely unwavering confidence in her catching her off guard.

“Well,” she said once she’d gotten herself back together, “at the risk of being a bad agent…I’m gonna go ahead and say you’re safe from me, at least. Y’know. As long as you start following the rules better once I’m…y’know, a big shot out there.”

Astra took a step forward, smile becoming more mischievous. “That’s very generous of you,” she said, fingers coming up to play absently at the zipper of Alex’s jacket. “So, would you like me to start calling you ‘Agent Danvers’ during our appointments together?” she asked. “In preparation of you become a ‘big shot?’”

Alex’s eyes went very wide, and a very delicious sudden heat swirled and then clenched deep in her core, and she babbled out, “YeahI’dbefinewiththat!”

Astra looked startlingly pleased at her reaction, biting her own lip as her gaze fell to Alex’s.

“Well, I guess I should let you go,” she said quietly. “We can set up an appointment for this weekend, maybe?”

Alex stiffened at the sound of the elevator _ding_ down around the corner at the opposite side of the hall. Hundred and twenty bucks said that would be Claire.

“I…actually, I’m not doing anything right now,” she said quickly. Oh shit, was this ever going to turn into a mess if Claire showed up with Astra right here, expecting a massage while Astra realized Alex had _not,_ in fact, just exited a meeting with her about taking a French class this semester in order to strengthen her application for the FBI. 

“I mean, if you’re not super busy at the moment,” Alex hastened on, “I could…I mean, you know.” She switched tactics, shrugging carelessly, ruffling her hair, turning on a little bit of casual charm, as if her heart wasn’t pounding in panic right now. Too cool for school. That was Alex. “I’ve always kinda had a thing for fucking a teacher over her desk, if you wanted to go ahead and have an appointment right now.”

 _That_ was definitely the right thing to say. Astra’s lips parted in surprise, eyes widening, and then suddenly darkening heavily as her gaze fell to Alex’s lips again.

Alex resisted the urge to turn her head as she heard high heels clack against the floor around the corner—Claire, getting closer. She tried to keep her expression chill, tried not to look too urgent, tried to ignore the frantic _Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes_ clamoring around in her skull.

“Well, I was going to do some work preparing for the upcoming semester…” Astra said, voice somewhat…breathy.

The high heel clacks were getting louder.

_Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes…_

“…but I’d love—that is, I can’t see why I couldn’t put it off for another hour.”

Oh, thank god. Alex took Astra’s hand quickly, maybe too urgently. 

“Lead the way,” she said, and allowed herself to be pulled toward Astra’s office, disappearing through the door just as the sound of high heels made the turn round the corner.

Claire was going to be _extremely_ unhappy that Alex had apparently forgotten their appointment, but there was really nothing Alex could do about that right now. Besides, she hadn’t been lying when she’d said she kind of had a thing about the idea of fucking a teacher over her desk. And if said teacher was seriously going to be calling her ‘Agent Danvers’ as that was happening, then this was definitely going to be worth a little trouble further down the line.

*

Astra’s office was…very organized. Very clean. Everything in its place. Alex had spent time in several offices belonging to professors here, and they were _never_ this well-kept. They were always a nightmare of a mess. But Astra probably didn’t tolerate messes.

Except, over there on the window sill. Alex hung back by the closed door as she looked at it, this tangle of plants, soaking up the sun. It was definitely messy there, soil crumbled to the ground, spilled water, some of the vines overgrown. It was a nice mess. A mess that was very alive.

“I like those,” Alex said, pointing.

Astra turned her head to look as she made her way to her desk, then smiled fondly at them.

“Do you garden?” she asked, turning to Alex.

Alex shook her head. “No, actually…I know pretty much nothing about plants. Those are pretty, though. They look…loved.”

Had Astra’s eyes always been this sparkly?

“I like to think they are,” she said. “It’s my job, after all.”

“So you’re like, a botany professor or something?” Alex asked, realizing she had no idea what Astra actually did.

“Environmental Science and Policy,” Astra told her.

“Oh,” Alex said, raising her eyebrows. “That sounds more serious.”

Astra smiled. “It can be.” 

She seemed less interested in talking about her career though, taking off her jacket and laying it over the back of her chair. She was wearing a dress underneath—interesting choice, given the weather, but Alex certainly wasn’t complaining. Plunging neckline. Tight skirt. Easier access. 

Astra raised an eyebrow, signaling Alex to come join her, and Alex obeyed, letting her own jacket slip back onto the floor. Astra watched it fall—maybe she was going to say something about picking it up, but Alex reached her before she could get a word out, grabbing her hips, and pushing her up onto the desk.

Astra gasped in surprise, eyes going wide as Alex nudged herself in between her thighs, hooking one of those long legs over her hip.

“I like the dress,” Alex told her with a grin, letting her hand wander up Astra’s thigh to tease just under the hem of the skirt. Astra reflexively wound the other leg up around Alex’s hips and ran her fingers through Alex’s hair, uttering a small, surprised cry when Alex squeezed high up on her thigh and pulled her in roughly to rub against her.

“S-school function later,” Astra managed to breathe out. “Didn’t want to have to— _mmh!—_ go home and change after I c-came here.”

Alex continued to squeeze and knead Astra’s thighs, pulling her in, and reaching around toward her ass, encouraging her to angle herself however she needed to in order to grind against her. She’d really liked that little _mmh_ sound Astra had just made, liked the stammer on the word _came,_ liked that Astra was already becoming quickly undone for her.

“Too bad you’re not wearing that collar this time around,” she murmured, meeting Astra’s movements with her own, feeling that warm pooling of desire deep inside her. “That was a good look for you.”

That must have hit Astra in some way, because she sighed wantonly and used her grip in Alex’s hair to pull her roughly in to kiss her.

The second their lips brushed against each other, Alex jolted back, remembering James’ advice.

No kissing on the mouth. 

Too intimate. 

Too emotionally involved. 

No kissing.

Astra was staring at her in surprise through heaving breaths, brow creased. Confused at the rejection.

_No, Astra, it wasn't a rejection, just..._

Alex leaned in and started kissing across her jaw instead, down her neck, and Astra seemed to relax into it for a moment. _See?_   _Not a rejection_. _Just no kissing_. _No_  real  _kissing_.

But Astra didn’t seem to like that—or maybe she hadn’t quite understood, because her grip in Alex’s hair tightened again, and she pulled upward, trying to pull her into a kiss again, and damn it, _no._ No kissing.

Alex evaded her again, going back for the throat, but Astra was insistent, seeming hell-bent on kissing her, while Alex was hell-bent on _not_ kissing her.

This was ridiculous. Alex wasn’t sure which of them was more frustrated by the other, but she decided to take kissing completely out of the equation, sinking to her knees, and pushing Astra’s legs open.

So, that was a good distraction tactic. Astra let out a whimpering sigh as she watched her sink down to the floor, one leg draping over her shoulder, the other one hooking lower at Alex’s side, keeping her in. Nine fucking miles of leg, god she was fucking gorgeous. 

Alex kissed the inside of her thigh, looking up as she did, keeping her gaze locked with Astra’s. This was a little more like kissing, kind of. As long as she kept looking at her while she sucked on the inside of her thigh, there was a connection there. It seemed to be working for Astra, at least, as her lids hooded, and her grip in Alex’s hair loosened and became that absently sensual raking and scratching and pulling, and her open jaw worked in rhythm to the way her hips were starting to rock, trying to get Alex’s mouth closer to where she needed it.

Alex obliged only when Astra’s movements became a little jerky, a little impatiently irritated. She had the feeling frustration would heighten things between them, rather than bring them down—Astra had enough fire in her that Alex could see frustration, and maybe even anger, fueling them rather than taking away from the experience.

So just one more irritated jerk of her hips, and Alex finally gave in, kissing her way up to the apex of her thighs, then pressing her mouth to her center, and licking _slowly_ from entrance to clit. Unbelievingly hot and wet.

Astra gasped above her, and arched, fist tightening in her hair while the other arm she had braced behind her on the desk seemed to give out for a moment. Alex moaned at the sensation of being pulled in closer, a dizzying wave of pleasure crashing over her as she was fully immersed in the intoxicating cocktail of scents, and tastes, and textures that Astra was made up of.

She licked into her obsessively, trying to make sure she could commit all of this to memory—if this was all just sex to Astra and nothing more, and she was tossed aside as soon as Astra became bored, or found something more permanent, or… _real…_ Alex wanted to make sure she had every bit of Astra she possibly could to remember her by.

And fuck, she’d be remembering this for a long time. The way Astra’s legs shook around her, the way she was pulled in, the pressure tugging at her, the play of gasps and moans tumbling from Astra’s lips above her…god, the way she smelled, the way she tasted…Alex dug her fingers into the sides of Astra’s thighs, squeezing hard, applying pressure to every inch of her she could, needing to mark her up, needing to own her while she had this brief chance…

She groaned as Astra pulled harder and guided her back up to standing, trying once again to kiss her. Alex evaded her by a breath, returning once again to her throat, sloppy, wet, open-mouthed kisses turned into hard sucking to make up for the clumsiness.

“Alex…” Astra whined, still tugging at her, still trying to wrestle a kiss from her. “Alex, please…”

For fuck’s sake. Alex lifted up again, grabbing her arm and using it as leverage to spin her around and bend her over the desk, pinning her, and getting one arm in a lock behind her back. The resulting gasp and cry was reward in and of itself.

Alex bent over her, tightening the lock on her arm as she pressed her mouth to her ear.

“It’s ‘Agent Danvers,’ remember?” she growled.

And shit, the resulting moan from _that_ was just…heavenly. Astra squirmed under her, desperately seeking more contact, and Alex molded herself against her, reaching down to rub teasingly between her thighs.

“Agent Danvers…” Astra bit out, seeming to be in equal parts pain and pleasure.

Alex realized she was panting as she drove into Astra, and that added little _Agent Danvers_ only made that molten burning in her core worse. She bit into Astra’s shoulder blades, first one, then trailing over to the other one, each mouthful a demand for Astra to remember her. She wanted to feel Astra fall apart around her, wanted to hear it, see it…

She yelped at almost the same time Astra did when a loud, insistent pounding came from the other side of the door.

“Astra?” a voice sing-songed through the slats.

They both halted in their movements, and Alex dropped her face in between Astra’s shoulder blades, pressing her face in as hard as she could.

“You have got. To be fucking. _Kidding_ me right now,” she groaned, voice muffled into Astra’s back.

Astra tried to get up from under her, but Alex was starting to feel extremely petulant and didn’t budge.

“Alex, get off,” Astra muttered.

“That’s what I’ve been _trying_ to do,” Alex grumbled.

“Alex, seriously, get off, I need to see who that is.”

Alex sighed and let her up, continuing to nip at her shoulders punishingly as the intruder on the other side of the door continued to knock incessantly. Astra looked at her, rolling her shoulder where Alex had put that arm into a lock, seeming to be trying to formulate words.

“Would you like me to hide under your desk?” Alex drawled.

Astra didn’t answer, but it actually looked like the answer was _yes,_ which was a little bit on the infuriating side of things.

“Seriously?”

“Alex, please.”

Alex set her jaw, gaze flickering agitatedly over to the door, and finally circled around the desk, and crouched under it. If this wasn’t the most fucking undignified thing ever…

She watched as Astra did a quick brush over herself, pulling her clothes back into place, running her fingers through her hair to get it into some kind of shape. Then she took a steadying breath, and strode over to the door, pulling it open.

Alex could tell from her hiding place that Astra was not excited about this particular visitor. She tried to get a good visual, getting a quick look at blonde-ish red hair in multiple tight braids, and…blue. Blue tight pants, blue shirt, blue jacket, blue eyeshadow, even blue lipstick. Not a student, either, but someone at least close to Astra’s age. 

Their words back and forth were brief, a little sharp, and Alex could sense an unspoken air of taunting coming from the blue-clad woman, and a fairly palpable air of loathing coming from Astra. She flinched back a little when she realized this other woman was surreptitiously trying to glance past Astra into the room. Had she heard something before coming in here?

…Was she fucking _also_ here to set up an _appointment_ with Alex Danvers the fucking _prostitute_ since apparently everyone in this upper level of academia seemed to know about her and want a fucking piece of her? Well they could all fuck off. Alex was _Astra’s,_ no one else’s. 

What a stupid situation she’d gotten herself into.

Astra and this other woman finally seemed to put an end to whatever it was they were discussing, the other woman peeking her head in one more time before Astra practically slammed the door in her face.

“So, not a close friend, I take it?” Alex asked, standing carefully.

Astra looked at her irritatedly. “My ex-husband’s new girlfriend, actually,” she said. “Indigo.”

“Oh, shit. _Indigo?”_

“Yes, she named herself,” Astra said. She sighed heavily, taking a moment before raising her gaze to meet Alex’s again.

“Not to be a broken record,” she began.

“…But you need me to leave again,” Alex said flatly.

Astra nodded.

“Indigo killed the mood?”

Astra smiled. “Well, yes, but she also reminded me I have a deadline I need to make before the function later,” she said. She beckoned Alex with a crook of her finger and of course Alex obeyed, stooping to pick up her jacket before pinning her lightly against the door.

“You’re completely distracting,” Astra murmured fondly, combing her fingers through Alex’s hair to get it back to normal. “Making me forget there’s work I have to do, other appointments I have to get to…”

…Well, actually, _Alex_ was the one who’d skimped on an actual appointment she had in order to be with Astra. Claire was absolutely going to kill her, and Alex hadn’t even given a shit. So who was really the distracting one in this situation?

“Well, distraction’s my job,” Alex said, unable to keep a slight note of bitterness dropping into her tone. “It’s what I’m here for. Distract all of you from your stressful days with the power of my sexy…whatever-the-hell.”

Astra seemed to think she was just being snarky and endearing, because that smile became even fonder. Well, Alex _wasn’t_ being snarky and endearing, she was being snarky and bitter, because this wasn’t fun anymore. Not just because they’d been interrupted so many times, but because it actually _bothered_ her that they’d been interrupted so many times. Was it so much to ask that for an entire hour while Astra got to pretend Alex belonged to her, Alex could also pretend the same thing? What was the point of doing all this if she didn’t get to pretend…

Oh.

Oh, _that’s_ why she was doing all this. She wanted to pretend this was real, like not just real for sexual gratification, but real because she really liked her. _Really_ liked her. Really really liked telling her about the fact that she was trying to get into the FBI. Really liked learning that Astra liked plants, and was a Professor of Environmental Science and Policy—which, actually, Alex wasn’t completely sure what that meant, but she was absolutely going to go home and look it up so she could talk about it with Astra next time she saw her. Fuck her senseless, then talk about plant science and stuff. That sounded good.

“Well, I’ll text you later on to set up another appointment,” Astra said. “And we should start thinking about a way to get our girls together so we can tell them about that idiot boy they’ve both been seeing. I think they’ll both be getting in later this week.”

“Oh, yeah.” Alex had kind of forgotten about that. “Well, yeah, till next time, I guess.”

“Next time.” Astra’s gaze fell to Alex’s mouth, and she started to lean forward to kiss her. Alex evaded her, though, taking her face with her hand, and pressing her lips gently to her cheek.

Fuck, was _that_ ever a mistake. Almost more intimate, almost more emotionally involved than even a kiss on the mouth, because it was just…affection. Just pure fucking affection.

She separated from her quickly, and Astra actually looked surprised by the cheek kiss—more surprised than Alex thought she’d ever seen her.

“I’ll…I’ll see you, Astra,” Alex mumbled, brushing past her, and opening the door.

“Alex—wait,” Astra stopped her.

Alex turned, some stupid part of her thinking maybe Astra was about to tell her to stay, that she’d forget her deadline, forget the school function, and just…ask her to dinner or something.

But no, damn it, Astra was striding over to her jacket on the chair, digging around in the pocket, finding…for fuck’s sake, finding her wallet, pulling out cash, striding back, pressing it into Alex’s hand…

Alex took it, hoping her face looked grateful, and turned without so much as a “thank you” or a “bye” or anything at all.

She took out her phone when she got to the elevators, scrolling down until she found James’ number, which Lucy had so helpfully texted to her the other day.

 _Your advice was for shit,_ she typed out. Then she sighed, and deleted it, because James’ intentions had been good when he’d told her not to kiss Astra. How the hell could _he_ have known not kissing her would just make her want to kiss her more? She shouldn’t lash out at James of all people.

She looked over as the sound of high heels clacking joined her at the elevator--the same sound she had heard before making her great escape into Astra's office. Expecting to see Claire du Bois standing there looking cranky, she startled when instead, it was Indigo. 

Indigo, who was looking down at the money in Alex’s hand with a placidly amused look on her face. Alex frowned, tucking the money away in her pocket.

“Something the matter?” she growled.

Indigo just turned her head back to the elevator doors, a small, disconcertingly all-knowing smirk on her face. “Nope,” she said, and watched the floor numbers tick down contentedly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...This might be getting a little longer than originally planned
> 
> Also Lucy is definitely the hero National City deserves. I miss her.


	5. "Ahthawyoolueywnaposhoo"

When Astra and Kara had been reunited just over a year ago, there had been a long period of distrust. That many years of estrangement and uncertainty didn’t just disappear over night, no matter how glad Astra had been to have her back in her life. But the first ease of tension between them had come when Kara had been showing her some of her old things, and out of them all accidentally slipped a notebook of hers from middle school. All over it was written the name _Jimmy Olsen,_ over and over, in flowery lettering, with hearts over the _i,_ and around the entire name.

Kara had turned the color of a brick, and Astra had been unable to stop laughing, even at the protests of “I was _twelve,”_ because it was just so…well, it reminded her of the way Kara’s mother had written the name _Zor-El_ all over her school notebook when she had been younger. So… _girlish._

Astra herself had never had the desire to write the name of a crush all over a notebook, or to draw hearts. Kara’s embarrassed insistence of “I was _twelve,_ Aunt Astra!” was comical and endearing, but not relatable, as Astra couldn’t remember a single moment in her middle school or high school years that would have prompted _her_ to do such a thing.

So of course now, nearing the age of forty, when Astra got home from the function that night, she was suddenly struck with the urge to find a sparkly pen and write _Agent Danvers_ all over a notebook, with dozens of little hearts drawn around it.

She _didn’t_ do this, for the record. For one, she had no sparkly pens. For two, all of her notebooks were dedicated to her research, and planning for her curriculum. And of course, for three, her dignity would never allow such a thing.

Her dignity didn’t stop her from _saying_ the name _Agent Danvers_ , however, uttering it under her breath as she collapsed on her bed and mentally replayed their encounter in her office just hours ago, skimming her fingers up under her skirt, remembering where Alex had had her mouth. She arched at the memory, and bit her lip, smiling, because she _knew things_ about Alex now. More importantly, Alex had _told her_ those things. She had already known that Alex had studied medicine, but now she knew she had used that knowledge to help solve a crime at  the CSI labs, had felt that to be a calling, using her cleverness to put away “bad guys” as she’d said, and was now trying to get into a program that would allow her to do just that.

She’d shared so much with Astra today. So, why…

Astra sat up, pulling her hair back with a frown. Why hadn’t Alex kissed her? She loved the way Alex kissed, it was so passionate, so…excited. Excit _ing._ And yes, maybe that was just a very well-performed, well-practiced act for the benefit of her clients—but it still felt like a connection, a shared experience between them before anything else happened. She had loved having Alex kneeling between her legs, and she’d _really_ loved it when Alex had bent her over the desk. She would take that any day. But…if there could have been just _one_ kiss before that…just to establish that connection in the beginning, she’d have given anything for that. The way she kissed…it was so personal, so unique to her, and Astra missed it.

God, she _missed_ it, as if she was somehow _entitled_ to it. 

… _Was_ she entitled to it? Her sparkly heart feelings swirled a little in confusion. Had Alex changed her rules? Her rates? Astra already firmly believed she needed to be charging more…she’d happily _pay_ more if that’s what this was all about. Sixty dollars per hour for sex, more if she wanted kissing involved…that was no problem, Astra was more than willing to pay extra if it meant she got to continue kissing Alex.

She huffed irritatedly. She was so completely out of her depth here, and that was a feeling she despised above all others. New experiences were one thing, but having absolutely _no idea_ what was happening in said new experience was something else altogether.

Well, Astra didn’t like not understanding things, and she refused to continue not understanding them when she could be more productive. Sometimes, the best way to learn what one needed to know was simply to go directly to the source. So she picked up her phone, found Alex in her contacts, and began to text her.

She didn’t get very far.

How did one go about phrasing “ _I understand that this is_ your _profession, and_ your _decision, and that I have absolutely no control over you—nor would I want to even if I could—but I would happily sell my soul to be able to kiss you, if, for whatever reason, you have decided kissing is no longer on the menu. But don’t feel obligated. But please kiss me”_ without sounding obscenely desperate. And controlling. And overbearing. All the things Astra had long ago identified in herself as being the most fatal of her flaws that needed to be kept constantly in check. Desperate, controlling, overbearing. Also _possessive,_ but that one went without saying. No, she cared far too much for Alex to ever subject her to any of those flaws in her character.

So, how to rephrase those sentiments so that her message would be clear, without seeming demanding, or overstepping boundaries. 

Come to think of it, that may actually be the crux of the issue, she realized. No boundaries had ever been laid out. No rules, no limits, nothing.

Well, that wasn’t safe, she thought with a frown. Was Alex this careless with _all_ of her clients? Anything goes? Was that how she had ended up with that black eye from two weeks ago? 

No. There were steps that needed to be taken in this line of work to ensure one’s safety—rules, regulations, perhaps even a signed contract. Alex had laid out absolutely _nothing_ of the sort, was she out of her mind? Was she really that cavalier with her safety? Well. Astra had half a mind to march outside and find some means to track her down and rail on her about her complete lack of care for her own self. Verbally smack some sense into her.

But, no, no, calm down. This profession was Alex’s decision. She was doing this _her_ way, because she had her sights set on a more permanent and fulfilling future that this would allow her to reach. Alex was not the type that needed to be rescued. Brash though she may be, she was _aware_ of what she was doing, and Astra had absolutely no right to question that.

Still. She sighed. If nothing else, she at least wanted to know Alex’s boundaries, so that she could never hurt her in any way.

That said, she supposed there was really only one sane way to phrase her text:

_Can we talk?_

Astra almost dropped her phone in surprise when those three words popped up onto her screen before she even typed them out—not from her, but from Alex.

She stared at the text for a long moment, some foolish part of her wondering if maybe she and Alex had been thinking the exact same thing at the exact same time. But no, this was probably something else, something—

_There are some things I really should have been upfront about with you from the beginning_

Astra blinked at Alex’s second text. Maybe they really _were_ thinking the same thing at the same time. After all, boundaries had seemed entirely cloudy earlier, it wasn’t a stretch to think it might be on both of their minds. The kiss…god, the number of times she had attempted to kiss Alex, the number of times Alex had rebuffed her…and she had just stupidly kept trying, with _no_ thought as to how Alex’s rules might have changed—not that Astra could possibly have _known_ , given that Alex had never _told_ her those rules…

God, what had she been thinking? Right from their very first session, Alex had seemed taken aback when Astra first tried to kiss her, of _course_ that must have been one of her boundaries, wasn’t there that ridiculous movie that had said prostitutes don’t kiss on the mouth, or something like that? But for their second session, Alex _had_ kissed her, so…well, maybe she had felt pressured. Maybe Astra had come off as aggressive—or maybe even simply naive—and Alex had been afraid to stop her. Maybe this was a much bigger deal than she had originally perceived, and all of those sparkly heart feelings were just _completely_ inappropriate. She looked down at Alex’s texts again:

_Can we talk? There are some things I really should have been upfront about with you from the beginning_

God, she really must have overstepped…

_Absolutely,_ she texted back quickly, embarrassment, with the smallest hint of annoyance, rushing over her. _There are several things I want clarification on as well._

There was a surprisingly long amount of silence, making Alex’s next text seem…tentative.

_So you figured it out already_

_Of course,_ Astra texted back, annoyance growing. _This entire situation we’re in could have been avoided if you had just been upfront from the beginning._

Another long pause. Then:

_You’re right. I’m so sorry, Astra._ _I should’ve told you right from the beginning. Please believe I’m usually a much more honest person than this, I never should’ve let this go on as long as it did, I’m so, so sorry._

Well, that was a pretty intense reaction, Astra thought as she read the text with raised eyebrows. Yes, the misunderstanding about her boundaries had been awkward, but certainly not to _this_ level of apology.

_You don’t need to apologize, we both made mistakes_ , she texted back. _I was too eager, I never gave you the chance to explain what you would be doing._

_Yeah, but I should’ve stopped you right from the get go. You have to believe me, I’m so so sorry I misled you like this, please let me make it up to you, I seriously feel like the biggest asshole in the world._

…Alex seemed a little more intense about this than Astra had expected. And blaming _herself_ like this? What was that all about?

_We could meet up sometime tomorrow?_ Astra texted. _We can clear the air then._

_I’d really like that, you have no idea,_ came the quick response. _Noonan’s at 3?_

_I’ll see you then, Agent Danvers._

It looked like Alex was typing something on the other end of the line. Maybe laughter at the tease? Maybe something else, since she’d seemed to like it so much during their session earlier when Astra had called her Agent Danvers? 

She waited as those three little dots simply continued to be three little dots. She counted 36 seconds, and then the dots disappeared.

*

At Noonan’s the following afternoon, she situated herself at the table against the window, farthest removed from the others. That way, once Alex arrived, they could speak without anyone overhearing, and have the safety net of looking outside if either of them needed to avoid eye contact at any point.

She didn’t have long to wait before she saw Alex coming down the sidewalk toward the coffee shop, hands shoved deep in her coat pockets. She was stopped by a young woman coming out as she came in, a pretty, though frankly, quite minuscule brunette. Astra craned her neck, watching them curiously, straining her hearing enough to make out Alex saying, “Oh, hey Lucy.”

The tiny brunette looked impish, and Astra was able to make out, “…on a date?”

Alex’s lips parted in surprise at the question, and her gaze tripped over to Astra, which did not go unnoticed by this Lucy character. Astra couldn’t hear the response after that, but Lucy had a big grin on her face, and she was waggling her eyebrows, while Alex seemed to be looking for words…or a hole to disappear into.

_…on a date?_ Lucy had asked. What was Alex saying? What was that look? It was a red-faced look, but for what reason? 

She watched as their interaction came to an end, with Lucy giving her a not-quite-discreet double thumbs up as she backed out the door. Alex just dropped her head, seeming to be steadying herself, or readying herself, for something, and then made her way over to the table, sitting down gingerly as if she was afraid there might be spikes lining the seat of the chair.

“Um. Hi,” she said, once she’d finally sat down. 

Astra had seen her blush a couple times before, but this current hue was really something. It made her smile in amusement. “Did your friend just say something to embarrass you?” she asked.

“Huh?” Alex asked in alarm. “Oh, Lucy? No, she just…” shy all of a sudden, “she asked me if I was here on a date. I told her I’m not,” she added hurriedly. “Obviously. Though,” a tiny, extremely tentative spark of humor flickered at her eyes, “some people might say this looks kinda like a date. Us…meeting for coffee, after y’know…messing around…like we’ve been doing…”

Astra blinked uncertainly and Alex trailed off again, lips pressing together uncomfortably, like she’d just tried to tell a joke, but had chickened out in the end. “Astra, I’m so, _so_ sorry for what I did,” she said after a moment, staring at the table top in front of her. “There’s no excusing…I will make it up to you however you want. Actually, wait—here.”

Astra watched as Alex felt around in her pockets until she finally withdrew a wad of bills wrapped up in a rubber band. 

“What’s this?” Astra asked, brow creasing as she looked down at it.

“It’s everything you’ve paid me,” Alex told her. “I promise I tried to refuse it every time, but you were pretty insistent, and I…but I never spent it. It’s all here. And…shit, I think I left the knife you gave me at home—I’ll bring that to you another time, or I guess I could just mail it to you if you don’t want to see me again…”

“Alex,” Astra said firmly, stopping her. “What are you talking about? Why are you giving this back to me? Why wouldn’t I want to see you again?”

Alex blinked. “Well—because…”

“You’re acting like you pulled some hideous act of betrayal,” Astra chuckled at the look on her face. “So you weren’t completely upfront about everything you should have been, that’s alright. We can easily move past it and keep going with this, as long as you want to do so.”

“You…” Alex seemed to be processing things very slowly. “You want…to keep…paying me for sex…even though you just found out I—?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Astra interrupted, confused. “That is…if I’ve overstepped any boundaries, I would very much like you to tell me, but if you’re willing to keep this arrangement going, I…I’d like that. A lot.”

“Well, I mean, if you want to keep doing what we’re doing…now that you know everything, I wouldn’t make you _pay_ for that, that doesn’t make any sense.”

Astra cocked her head at her, and Alex did the same. They both stared at one another for a long moment.

“I’m getting the feeling you and I aren’t talking about the same thing,” she said finally.

Alex nodded. “Yeah, I’m kind of getting that feeling, too. What were _you_ talking about?”

“I was talking about your boundaries,” Astra said carefully. “When we started this, you never told me what…well, what you were okay with…a sort of do’s and don’t’s for what you allow in your sessions…”

Alex seemed to be deflating slowly at her answer, and Astra hurried on, unsure why that was happening.

“Yesterday,” she hurried on, “I realized I had taken advantage of you, just assuming you were…up for anything. I hadn’t even stopped to consider—the way you were trying to avoid kissing me, even from the first time we met…”

Alex was sinking lower and lower into her seat, now pressing the heel of her hand into her forehead.

“…it made me remember from this silly film my niece made me watch once, I thought it to be complete drivel, but I suppose there’s truth to it after all—the one with the prostitute who won’t kiss on the mouth…”

_“Pretty Woman,”_ Alex murmured, voice almost completely muffled as both hands moved to cover her entire face.

“Right, that one,” Astra said, still trying to figure out why Alex seemed to be trying to disappear into her own body. “I just…I realized there could be dozens of things that you might be unwilling to do, and the thought that I might have overstepped or broken one of your rules, or that I might in the future… _I’m_ the one who should be apologizing, Alex, I should have made sure I knew, going into this, what was appropriate or not. It would kill me to know that I had taken advantage of you in any way.”

Alex’s hands remained firmly pressed to her face, so Astra couldn’t see her expression at all.

“So, I…take it that’s not what _you_ thought we were talking about,” she ventured after a moment.

Alex shook her hand-covered head.

“Then what _did_ you think we were talking about?”

Astra saw Alex’s shoulders drop, indicating a deep sigh that would remain trapped behind her hands.

“Alex?”

“Ahthawyoolueywnaposhoo,” Alex said.

Or something to that effect.

“What?”

Alex sighed deeply again, then took her hands slowly away from her face. Astra hadn’t realized anyone could even _be_ that red.

“I said, that I thought you knew—or that you’d learned, or figured out, or something, that I’m not…”

“Not…?” Astra prompted.

Alex’s gaze fell to the table top. “That I’m not a prostitute.”

Astra tilted her head, each word hitting against her skull with a tinny _ping_ that kept her from quite understanding them.

“I’m sorry?” she asked.

“I’m not a prostitute, Astra.”

Still that same tinny _ping_ keeping them from quite sinking in.

“I don’t understand,” she said.

“I’m a masseuse,” Alex said quietly, eyes trained unblinkingly to the table top. “Part-time. I go to professors’ houses and offices to give them massages. Platonic, very unsexy massages.”

Oh god. The words were starting to sink in.

“I should’ve told you the _second_ I realized,” Alex was saying hurriedly. “But I didn’t—and I’m sorry, I should’ve, and I meant to, but I just—I knew that was all you wanted from me, and I didn’t know how else to be with—“

Astra stopped listening there. She was not known for her easy temperament. The number of times she had exploded at Non before the end of their marriage, the number of times she had lashed out at her own family…another one of her flaws. Too emotional.

Having said that, to counter her emotional reactions to things, there was a wall of steel that she had learned to build within herself. Eventually, those emotions would crash into her, but she was at least able to delay that crash for some time if she put her mind to it.

So, rather than lashing out at Alex, or feeling humiliated, or hurt in any way, she simply stood, and walked calmly out the door, leaving Alex rambling apologies behind her.

And if she was up until 3 that morning beating the ever-loving hell out of a punching bag at the gym, then that was her own business, no one else’s.

*

“No offense, Aunt Astra, but you look as crummy as I feel,” Kara said the following morning as she settled herself down on Astra’s couch.

“And you look beautiful,” Astra said, sitting beside her.

Kara rolled her eyes, but seemed to be trying to cover up both embarrassment and joy at the compliment. 

“You know what I mean,” she mumbled.

Astra smiled at her, leaning her elbow on the back of the couch, and resting her cheek on her knuckles. She was tired from having been up so much of the night, thinking, and overthinking, and trying not to think…she’d been glad when Kara had called and asked if she could come see her now that she was back from break. Something to take her mind off everything.

“Why are you feeling crummy, little one?” she asked. “Did Metropolis fall short of your expectations?”

“Nah, Metropolis was great,” Kara said. “It was good to see Clark, and his wife’s pretty cool, I think you’d like her. Really smart. And Clark’s still a huge nerd, so that was fun.”

“Then what is it?” Astra asked. “You only got in last night, what could have gone so wrong already?”

Kara fiddled absently with a frayed thread on the couch. “Just Mon-El stuff,” she mumbled.

Astra straightened stiffly. “What _kind_ of Mon-El stuff?” she asked dangerously. “Did he do something to you?”

Kara rolled her eyes. “You sound like my roommate,” she said. “Any time I say I’ve had a Mon-El issue, she always assumes the worst and gets this look like she’s gonna go out and murder him.”

“I like the sound of her,” Astra said approvingly.

“Yeah, you two would actually probably get along really well,” Kara said with a snort. “Really well, actually, now that I think about it. I should introduce you to her sometime, you two can go hit things together.”

Now it was Astra’s turn to roll her eyes—a habit she’d picked up ever since reuniting with Kara.

“Actually, she’d probably just end up hitting on _you,”_ Kara said. “She’s kind of got a thing for professors. Well, _a_ professor—she calls her Professor Hot Stuff because she’s a big weirdo, but you’d probably be her type.”

A sudden bolt of realization shot through Astra, and her lips parted. No, this was far too much of a coincidence, this couldn’t possibly be…

“Kara, what’s you roommate’s name?” she asked slowly.

“Alex,” Kara told her, sounding curious.

Astra sighed deeply, closing her eyes. “Of course it is,” she said under her breath, a dull headache suddenly beginning to form.

“What’s—“

“And can I ask what specifically your ‘Mon-El problem’ is this time?” Astra interrupted her, keeping her eyes closed.

“Well…I was gonna go see him last night after I dropped my stuff off at my dorm room,” Kara said carefully, “but Alex was there, and she told me I shouldn’t go see him, and we got into this fight, and she finally told me Mon-El’s…that she learned Mon-El was cheating on me.”

Astra shook her head, everything falling into place. Kara was both her niece, and Alex’s roommate. 

“And I snapped at her,” Kara went on, “because I didn’t want to believe her. But the thing is, I _do_ believe her, she’s one of the most honest people I’ve ever met…”

Astra very nearly snorted out a harsh laugh. No, not very nearly—she actually did snort out a harsh laugh.

“What was _that_ sound?” Kara asked her, and she opened her eyes to find her niece looking at her with amused surprise.

“Nothing,” Astra said. “Your roommate seems like a good person, being so honest with you.”

“She looks out for me,” Kara said. “She was actually my neighbor way back when Clark and I first moved to Midvale. We didn’t exactly get along then, but she looked after me, and then when I came here, I don’t know, we kind of hit it off. She’s kind of like family, to be honest.”

Astra sighed deeply. This was getting to be too much.

“You really would like her,” Kara said. “Although, seriously, you’re like exactly her type, so you’d probably have to deal with a puppy crush for awhile, but I could see you guys being really good friends once she got over it. Besides, she’s kind of seeing someone already. Well—“ she broke off with a laugh. _“‘Seeing’_ someone’s a little generous. She’s actually—it’s really funny—so she’s a masseuse, right? But she went to this one client’s home, and the client was some weird, like _clearly_ desperate woman, because she thought Alex was a—“

“Kara,” Astra interrupted so sharply that her niece’s jaw actually dropped open in surprise. She sighed again, softening her voice. “I’m sure you can regale me with tales of your roommate’s misfortunes until I drop, but I’d prefer to hear about you. You said your idiot boyfriend cheated on you. Are you alright?”

Kara chewed on her lip for a moment, then hunched her shoulders up tightly. “I’ve been better,” she said. “I don’t know, all I’ve got is Alex’s word that he cheated on me. And I believe her, but I haven’t actually gone to talk to him or anything yet. I’m not really sure what I’m going to do when I see him.”

“I would recommend a strike to the nose first, and follow that up with a kick to his genitals,” Astra suggested darkly.

Kara grinned at her. “That’s exactly what Alex said,” she told her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who else wants to give Astra a giant hug?


	6. The Pot and the Kettle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s been a hot minute, welcome back!
> 
> HERE’S A QUICK BUT IMPORTANT RECAP SINCE IT’S BEEN SO FRIKKIN LONG:
> 
> Astra the socially awkward college professor made a serious booboo with regards to the definition of the word “masseuse” versus the word “prostitute” while speaking to her ex-husband Non. Some suspect that booboo was probably due to the fact that she was already infatuated with said masseuse-not-prostitute Alex Danvers, and all logic went out the window. Add that to the fact that Alex had called her Professor Hot Stuff when they first met and Astra’s little heart went spinning.
> 
> Upon the day of their appointment, Alex was shocked to discover Astra’s misunderstanding about her occupation, but through her shock, she came to the profound decision of YOLO and went for it. Unfortunately the two were interrupted mid-makeout by a call from Astra’s niece who was having a bad day thanks to her boyfriend Mon-El. The two parted ways, rescheduling for later that week.
> 
> Meanwhile, Alex tried valiantly to figure out what in she should do in this situation while her roommate, Kara, laughed mercilessly at her plight. Eventually, Alex’s problem-solving instincts led her to go to her nearest sex shop and buy a handful of sex toys she had no idea how to use so that she might encourage Astra’s belief that she was a prostitute, thereby giving her a perfectly reasonable excuse to be with her, rather than asking her out on a date like a normal person.
> 
> Unfortunately, their attempts at banging were once again thwarted by Astra’s niece’s Mon-El problems, and upon sharing this information, both Alex and Astra came to the entirely incorrect conclusion that Mon-El was cheating on Astra’s niece with Alex’s roommate.
> 
> A third appointment was made, but Alex had to cancel, as she had been hurt somehow. Astra panicked, thinking that one of Alex’s clients had harmed her, so naturally, she went to her nearest army surplus store and bought Alex a collapsable schrade knife for self-defense.
> 
> That night, Alex met up with Lucy for drinks. While Lucy was unamused with the fact that Alex was, in actuality, injured because she had gotten into a fight with Mon-El on behalf of Kara, she was impressed with her fighting prowess, especially since Alex had dreams of joining the FBI. They were joined by James, who had been Kara’s middle school heartthrob before moving to Metropolis. Lucy informed Alex and James that she had a plan in the works to break up Kara and Mon-El, get Kara with James, and get Alex a “real girlfriend” and out of the accidental sex work business. Unfortunately, Alex realized she was starting to develop real feelings for Astra. James caught onto that and suggested that next time, Alex shouldn’t kiss Astra, as kissing was too emotionally involved.
> 
> Some time later, after a surprisingly pleasant and simple conversation, Alex and Astra tried once again to do the do on Astra’s desk in her office, and I regret to inform you that I, your humble author, forgot that underwear is a thing. Seriously, go back and read it—Alex went down on Astra and there was a strange omission of the narrative of Astra’s underwear. Where was it? Was it crotchless? Did Alex move it to the side somewhat? Was it simply never there to begin with? Did it disappear into a breach in the space-time continuum between Astra’s thighs? Who the hell knows? Not your author, unfortunately.
> 
> Anyway, back to the plot. While this ill-fated session went on, Alex remembered James’ advice not to kiss Astra, and followed it because, yes, in fact, she was falling very hard for Astra and needed to nip that feeling in the bud, otherwise, she was afraid that Astra would have no interest in her as a not-prostitute. Thus did she avoid kissing her at all costs. Of course, they were interrupted ONCE AGAIN, but this time, it was by a blue-clad lady called Indigo, who was Non’s new girlfriend. Although Indigo didn’t see anything happen between them, it was clear she had her suspicions, and that she was scheming something rotten in her rotten brain.
> 
> Later, Astra was torn between sparkly heart feelings for Alex, frustration at being head over heels for a prostitute, and confusion at her unexpected refusal to kiss her. Deciding that some clear boundaries needed to be laid out so that neither of them got hurt, she met up with Alex at a cafe to discuss their situation. The truth finally came out that Alex was not a prostitute at all, but a humble and very befuddled masseuse. Alex tried desperately to apologize and explain, but Astra walked out because this was more humiliation than she could handle.
> 
> The following morning, Kara came to visit Astra, and Astra figured out that she was also Alex’s roommate, and that Mon-El had not, in fact, been cheating on her. Having said that, she still fully encouraged Kara to kick him in the genitals.
> 
> And now we’re all caught up.

* * *

 

Of the numerous thoughts, expressions, and laments that crossed through Alex’s brain on a daily basis, _I fucked up_ was easily the most frequent. Her average was between eight and twelve on a normal day, with an exponential increase to one hundred the day she dropped out of medical school, one hundred and ten as she tried to hide this fact from her mother, and three hundred the day her mother found out anyway.

In the last twenty-four hours, she’d hit a record four hundred and fifty-six times, and counting. 

So many opportunities. She’d had _so many opportunities_ to tell Astra the truth—like, the very first day for example. The very first minute, the very first fucking _second._ But instead, she’d just let it continue on and on and on until all of a sudden she had all the feelings she’d tried her best to avoid all her life, because she knew they’d hurt, and they did, and then, worst of all…

Worst of all.

Worst of _all_ , she had just hurt Astra. 

Well, embarrassed her anyway, which could be pretty fucking painful. Alex knew better than to hope that Astra had actual feelings for _her,_ the pretend prostitute—but nevertheless, embarrassment of _this_ degree…?

…But then, god, maybe there _were_ feelings in there from Astra. Right? Didn’t it seem like it every so often? A lot, even? Like…really? God, what it those were real…but then of course, maybe those feelings were just from sex—or, almost-sex, which was the most they’d managed…

…Honestly, thank god it had _only_ ever been almost-sex. Somehow she was pretty sure this would be even worse if they’d actually had sex, it would have felt like even _more_ of a betrayal, and _more_ of just…using someone…which she wasn’t, she hadn’t been, that had never been the intention, but motherfucking shit—

_I fucked up._

She picked up one of Kara’s textbooks from the opposite side of the table and smacked it absently to her forehead at the thought.

_Whack!_

_I fucked up._

That kind of hurt. But hey, maybe if she kept this up for the rest of the afternoon, she’d be able to kill all her brain cells and obliterate this entire situation from her memory.

Couldn’t hurt to try.

_Whack!_

_I fucked up._

_Whack!_

_I fucked up._

_Whack!_

_I f—_

“Alex?”

Alex looked up to see that Kara had just come through the door, and was looking at her with deep concern.

“Are you okay?” she hazarded.

“I fucked up,” Alex told her, and saying it out aloud suddenly made her throat tighten, and her voice quavered.

Kara put her things down and strode over to the table, sitting down and taking her hand with an iron grip that was somehow warm, and comforting, and Alex felt her eyes sting a little bit.

“What happened?” Kara asked gently.

“I fucked up,” Alex said again, voice verging on a whimper.

“Okay,” Kara accepted quietly, bringing her other hand up to cover Alex’s for added comfort, added security. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Alex shook her head. “No. No, I just. God, I just fucked up.” She tilted her head up to the ceiling, because now she actually felt _tears_ in her eyes, which she shouldn’t, but there they were, and she needed them to go back in where they belonged…

“Is this…” Kara ventured. “I mean…does this have anything to do with um, with that woman you’ve been, um…with?”

Alex exhaled slowly, waiting for the threat of tears to end, which it did thankfully, before angling her head back down so she could look Kara in the eye.

“Yeah.”

“Do you wanna t—“

“—I told her,” Alex said. “Well, first I thought she’d figured it out and wanted to keep going, but she actually _didn’t_ know, and so I finally…I told her, and she just…she just left. Without saying anything.”

Kara looked at her steadily. “And you really liked her,” she inferred quietly. 

Alex cast her gaze down and focused on Kara’s hands on hers. “Yeah. And I don’t even know why, I mean, it’s not like we ever went out or something. We just…had a series of completely failed attempts at having sex, y’know, we were constantly interrupted, but every time, I just kept getting sucked into this fantasy that we were actually…like an actual thing. I just wanted to know all about her, and—fuck, I still really want to know all about her, and this is just…I just really, really fucked up.”

Kara sat silently with her for a moment before speaking again. “If it’s any consolation,” she said quietly, “I think she kinda fucked up more than you. I mean, if you really think about it. She’s the one who somehow mistook you for a prostitute.”

Alex huffed out a small laugh, then dropped her head to her chest. “I just hope she hates me,” she said.

Kara cocked her head curiously. “You…you _hope_ she hates you?”

“I just mean—I hope she isn’t back at her house thinking _I fucked up_ , like I am. I hope she hates me so she doesn’t have to feel crappy about herself.”

When she looked up, Kara’s eyebrows were raised significantly.

“Wow,” Kara said. “You really _do_ like her.”

Alex groaned and dropped her head to the table top, wondering if she might be able to become one with the wood if she pressed hard enough.

“Well, between you, me, and my aunt, no one seems to be having all that great of a day,” Kara sighed. At Alex’s curious look, she shook her head. “I told you about her, right? No? Well anyway. I went to see her for some advice on what to do about Mon-El, and she just looked like she was having…as rough of day as you are actually.”

“That’s too bad,” Alex offered, hoping it wasn’t _too_ obvious that she didn’t really care about her aunt’s personal woes. “And did she give you advice on what to do with him?” 

“She told me almost word for word what you said.”

“What, punch him in the nose and kick him in the balls?”

“Yup.”

Good woman then.

“And did you?” she asked. “Punch him in the nose and kick him in the balls?”

Kara sighed. “No,” she said. “We’re meeting up tomorrow though.”

“So you’ll punch him in the nose and kick him in the balls _tomorrow.”_

“I mean, I’m gonna try for non-violence, but. I don’t know, I’m playing it by ear.”

“As long as you get rid of him, that’s all I care about,” Alex said.

“That’s fair. Listen, I was gonna go out with Lucy tonight for a late-night happy hour, drown my sorrows in non-alcoholic cocktails,” Kara said, jiggling Alex’s hand a little to get her attention when she turned her head back into the table again. “You should come with.”

Alex shook her head.

“Alex. Come out with us,” Kara urged. 

“No. Go have fun.”

“I’m not gonna have fun knowing that you’re back here smacking yourself in the forehead with my books, and having free access to all the alcohol in the apartment,” Kara said. “Listen, you can drink with us—at least that way I’ll know when to cut you off before you drink yourself into a coma. Come on. You don’t have to talk to anyone, just come be with us.”

Alex sighed. “Remember back in the day when _I_ used to babysit _you?”_ she grumbled.

“I’m returning the favor,” Kara said, patting her hand decisively. “It’s what friends are for.”

*

Forty minutes into happy hour sitting across from Kara and Lucy, and Alex was already beginning to slur her words a little.

“You know what the worst part is?” Alex asked them. She took a shot, then remembered she hadn’t finished her sentence and continued. “I was gonna look up what it was that she taught, and I was gonna…I was gonna like, y’know, bang her, and then I was gonna talk to her about her…like what her research is, and it was gonna be…y’know, it was gonna be really nice, and she was gonna like me, but then…and…maybe it’s better we didn’t though ‘cuz I never learned what environmental science and policy really means, so it wouldn’t’ve worked out well…”

Kara cocked her head. “…Environmental…?”

“It’s what she did—does,” Alex said, setting her glass down, and resting her chin on the edge of the table so she could look through it at Kara. “She’s a professor of environmental science and policy.”

She jumped as Kara abruptly spray-spit her virgin pina colada, began choking, and smacked her hand down onto the table, landing right on Lucy’s hand.

“Kara, what the hell—?” Lucy exclaimed.

Alex sat back up in mild alarm as Kara continued to hack and choke for a moment. When she was done, she stared wide-eyed at Alex, looking like every gear in her head was whirring. 

“P-prof-professor Hot Stuff—your Professor Hot Stuff is a professor of…environmental science and policy?” she exclaimed, looking suddenly struck with horror. “Like— _here?_ Here at NCU?”

Alex nodded cautiously. “Why are you making that face?” she asked.

“No face!” Kara shouted. “There’s no face!” She gripped Lucy’s hand, and with a very wide, very painful-looking, probably-not-real smile, she said through gritted teeth, “Lucy, would you come with me for a minute?”

“…Um…why?” Lucy asked warily, also catching the way Kara’s smile looked more like a pained and desperate grimace.

“I just, uh—I gotta go to the bathroom, come with me!”

Lucy peeled her hand out of Kara’s. “I don’t have to go.”

“I do,” Alex offered. “I’ll go with y—“

“No, I um…yeah, actually why don’t you go?” Kara said, shifty-eyed and smile growing even more pained. “Me and Lucy’ll hold down the fort till your back.”

“But you just said…”

“I’ll order you another drink while you’re gone,” Kara said quickly.

Okay, tempting, but…

“Why’re you acting so weird?”

“Weird?” Kara asked, and her voice was too loud, and her very nervous, very fake smile looked like it was going to rip her face apart. “There’s no weird—who’s weird? I’m not, there’s nothing weird… you should go to the bathroom, the line’s down, me and Lucy are just gonna hang out and chat for a sec.”

Alex peered back and forth between the two of them, while Lucy just looked at Kara with a deeply puzzled crease across her brow.

Finally coming to the conclusion that the call of nature was going to beat her curiosity, Alex gave in. “Fine,” she said. She tapped the table as she got up, and pointed at Kara. “I want another whiskey.”

“You got it,” Kara nodded, her mouth still frozen in that somewhat crazed smile.

Alex made her way slowly through the bar, glancing over her shoulder to see Kara bent conspiratorially toward Lucy, gesturing urgently—wildly, even—first at herself, and then in Alex’s direction.

Okay…

Now Lucy’s jaw was dropping, and she was pointing in bewilderment at Kara, and then Alex, and then she glanced over at Alex, quickly averting her gaze when she realized Alex was looking back at them. She nudged Kara, who looked up and also made eye contact with Alex, waving quickly at her with far too much gusto.

So they were talking about her. Awesome. 

Whatever. Although she wasn’t sure what they could be talking about that she didn’t already tell them herself. Kara clearly had something against professors of environmental science and policy for some reason, if that reaction was anything to judge by. So that was weird. Maybe she knew her, maybe she’d taken a class from her and hated it or something. No, Kara never mentioned anything about having taken a class on environmental science and policy, and Kara complained about _all_ her classes. Something else then. Maybe she’d ask her about it tomorrow if she remembered.

For now, the call of nature was the most important thing.

When she was done, and had splashed some water on her face to make her brain work a little better and exited the bathroom, the second most important thing slotted up into the first most important thing’s space, and it suddenly became overwhelmingly clear to her that she needed to go to Astra’s house. Right now.

“Where are you going?” Kara called after her, jogging over to the exit where Alex had _almost_ been able to slip through without being noticed.

“I’m going to—“

She broke off. If she told Kara, Kara would almost certainly try to stop her, and Kara was both much faster, and much stronger than Alex was. Alex was more willing to throw a punch, but throwing a punch at Kara was just about the most evil thing she could imagine someone doing. So instead, she was going to lie to her.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Kara cocked her head. “Then why are you at the door?”

“Oh, that.”

“Yeah, ‘oh that,’” Kara said. “Are you leaving?”

“Yeah, I’m just…I’m real tired,” Alex told her. 

“Well, do you want me to walk you home?”

“Nah, nah, I’m fine. It’s like a ten minute walk. I can handle it.”

“Are you sure?”

“Kara.” Alex bristled a little bit. “The babysitter switch thing was cute at first, but I can walk from here to there without needing to be monitored every step of the way.”

That came out a little harsher than she’d meant it, but Kara took it in stride, squeezing her arm. “I won’t be late,” she promised.

Alex just nodded and started to leave.

“Alex…” Kara stopped her, pointing in the opposite direction. “Our dorm’s that way.”

Shit. With a grin she hoped looked convincingly like she had just been joking, she changed directions, and, annoyed at her own lack of stealth, circled around behind the bar so she could head back in the direction toward Astra’s house, unseen.

*

Alex knocked heavily on Astra’s door, drunkenness having solidified her resolve. Astra _did_ like her—at least enough to have kept trying with her after all those failures. She could have just dropped her and gotten another prostitute, probably, driven somewhere, or found someone online, or however it was that people got prostitutes, Alex didn’t know. She had _no idea_ how prostitutes worked, and the fact that Astra hadn’t realized that…she liked her, on some level at least, Astra _had_ to like her. She was _sure_ of it.

 _So_ sure of it in fact, that the second Astra opened the door, she shouted, “I like you!” like it was the most important statement in the history of the world.

Astra jerked her head back in alarm, obviously startled at having just been unexpectedly yelled at by an unexpected visitor at ten o’clock at night. “Alex?” she asked in surprise, squinting out at her.

“I like you and I think you like me and I made a huge mistake,” Alex said quickly.

Astra’s shoulders dropped, and she shook her head, a muscle clenching in her jaw. “Alex, now isn’t a good time,” she sighed.

“Then when _is_ a good time?” Alex asked urgently. “Tomorrow? The next day? I don’t want days and weeks and months and years to go by and suddenly I don’t have you anymore.”

Astra shook her head again, face drawn in frustration. “You never _had me,_ Alex. And you’re obviously drunk. Just…go away. Please.”

“No—wait, just…just five minutes of your time, please, I promise I’ll leave, just…five minutes,” Alex begged.

Astra looked at her for a long time, before stepping aside wordlessly and allowing her to come through the door.

When she closed the door behind them and turned to look at Alex with a severely prompting eyebrow raise, Alex suddenly realized she wasn’t sure what to say.

The obvious first, probably.

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly, bringing her hands together. “I’m so sorry.”

Astra looked her over expectantly. “Is that it?” she asked flatly. “You said the same words several times yesterday, if you don’t have anything to add to them, I think we can consider ourselves done here—“

“I’m getting—just.” Alex huffed, because she had _no_ right to get frustrated with Astra. _No_ right. She just wanted her to listen to her. “I made a huge mistake. Okay? And I shouldn’t have let that go on the way I did…”

“So then why did you?” Astra asked. That eyebrow lifted again, and her shoulders shrugged up sharply, demanding an answer.

“Because—I—I just, I wanted to be what _you_ wanted me to be!” Alex exclaimed. 

“So this is my fault?” Astra asked sharply. 

“No! Well—kinda, yes. But, no, no you just—I mean Astra, what the hell, you honestly thought I was a prostitute?”

Now Astra looked embarrassed, but in an angry way, and Alex wanted to smack herself in the face. This wasn’t going how her drunken brain had planned. She hadn’t come here to turn things around on Astra, but it had just come out, and honestly…was she that wrong to bring that up?

“I did,” Astra answered stiffly. “I did think that.”

“Why?” Alex demanded.

“The way Non described what you did—I misinterpreted. But you…”

“It was my responsibility to stop it, I know that, Astra, I _know_ , and I _should have_ , but I just…and you…we just…”

“Alex,” Astra interrupted, fingers going to her temples in annoyance. “You’re babbling, and you’re clearly drunk. I’m not having this conversation with you right now. Maybe it’s best if we _never_ have this conversation at all.”

“No! No, fuck, just listen to me!”

God, even _Alex_ was starting to notice how much she was just…babbling. She took a breath, trying to rein in of all the words knocking around in her brain, trying to make them less desperate, and less angry, and less selfish. God, she was fucking this all up, this was supposed to be an apology, and it was just this tangled mess…

“I was scared okay?” she exclaimed. “Not to tell you the truth—I mean, _kind of_ to tell you the truth, because I knew it would be embarrassing, but…Astra, I was afraid of you not wanting me. I wanted to be whatever I could that would let me be with you.”

“For what?” Astra asked flatly. “For sex? Having trouble finding willing partners in the normal way?”

“Well, that’s kind of calling the kettle a…pot…pot calling the kettle black.”

“Alex, you’re drunk.”

“I—that doesn’t change the fact, Astra, I _know_ I fucked up, but I really—I really do like you, I just wanted to be with you…”

“You don’t want to be with me, Alex,” Astra said sharply. “And you don’t like me. You know _nothing_ about me, anything you _want_ is purely physical.”

“Again! Aren’t you kind of being a kettle? Pot? We’re pots…kettles…fuck, you know what I mean!” Alex exclaimed, getting more and more frustrated with this fucking pot-and-kettle thing. “I mean, you hired me for something ‘purely physical’ too! It’s not like you _know me_ , either!”

Astra’s face was red, absolutely fuming.

“But I know things about you,” Alex said, taking a step forward. Astra’s body stiffened noticeably, a clear warning not to come any closer. So Alex stopped. “I know that you’re a professor here, of environmental science and policy…”

“And I know you’re a medical school dropout who’s scrambling to try to get into the FBI,” Astra said shortly. “So what? That’s information you could have gotten on me by looking up my bio on the NCU website if I hadn’t told you myself.”

“Okay, but I also know…that you grow plants in your office,” Alex said, “and that it’s the only place in your office that’s actually messy. And I know that you sometimes get a tremor in your hand that I’ve been too nervous to ask you about.” She took another cautious step forward, and while Astra was working her jaw, she didn’t give any warning signs to back off. “I know you can kick the living shit out of a punching bag. I know it’s hard to make you really smile, but when you do it’s fucking amazing. And I know…” 

She took one more step to get as close as she dared, close enough to touch her, but not close enough to kiss her, and much as she wanted to, her drunken brain still had just enough sense not to try.

“I know that when I got hurt, you went out and you bought…I mean, Astra you bought me a fucking _knife,”_ she said, and almost laughed, but there was no humor in Astra’s eyes, so she swallowed it down. “You bought me a knife. And you respected me enough to not try and fight my battles for me, you just wanted me to be able to take care of myself. You cared, Astra. In like, a kind of hardcore way. Those are…I know all those things about you, and I just…I really like you.”

Astra stared her down silently. For too long, for much too long, and Alex realized her time was up. Those five minutes she’d been permitted…done. Astra wasn’t even going to say anything to her, she was just going to stare her down until she left.

Swallowing thickly, Alex dropped her gaze, and circled around Astra toward the door. 

She jumped when Astra’s hand shot out and clamped around her arm before she could go. Alex looked at her in surprise, watching her close her eyes in some kind of resignation.

“Do you have that knife with you?” Astra asked, not looking at her.

Alex blinked in confusion. “No—but I can get it back to you if you want it, I know that you—“

“Stay the night,” Astra interrupted, words short, clipped, almost an order. She turned her head to look at Alex. There was no tenderness there, not even a vague sort of fondness—her expression was icy cold, if anything. 

“I don’t want you walking home drunk at this hour with nothing to protect yourself with,” she went on stiffly. “You can sleep on the couch and leave in the morning. After that…I’d prefer it if we never see each other again.”

Alex swallowed a lump in her throat, but nodded. Astra caring that she get home safe was something, at least. The bare minimum, as it sort of looked like she _wanted_ Alex to stumble home in drunken stupidity, even if her conscience wouldn’t allow it. At least Alex still existed within the realm of being worthy of common human decency to Astra. That was…well it was better than nothing.

She sighed as Astra’s hand slid from her arm, and watched her cross the living room to disappear into her own room, shutting the door behind her.

Alex waited for a moment, wondering if she might reemerge, either to fall into her arms in pure and loving acceptance and forgiveness for her clumsy and stupid apology, or just to bring her a blanket or something.

When there was no further activity, and the light from under Astra’s door went out, Alex shuffled over to the couch and collapsed, clutching an already-churning stomach. Better this way, probably. She didn’t really deserve forgiveness _or_ a blanket.

 


	7. 327

Astra woke to the sound of her fire alarm.

This was unfair for several reasons:

One, she had already slept horribly. She had been woken up at one in the morning by a phone call from Kara, and it was extremely uncomfortable. The way Kara had hesitated, and the way her voice was pitched much higher than normal, and the way she tripped over her words when she said, “Um…Aunt Astra? Is um…I was wondering…off-hand…just…a thought that occurred to me…out of nowhere…is um…is my roommate with you right now? It’s just that…you know…she isn’t _here_ …at home…with me…so I just was thinking…possibly, just…crap. Just…is Alex there with you? I was supposed to meet her back here at the dorm, and she’s not here, and she’s wasted out of her mind, and I just…look, I know about…the two of you…I just…I just want to make sure she’s okay. Is she with you?”

Astra had answered shortly with, “She’s here, she’s fine. Good night, little one.” And she’d hung up as soon as the last syllable was out of her mouth.

Two, there was the state of her brain. Of all the worst timing in the world, her brain had chosen _this_ particular night to torment her with a fairly lurid dream starring herself and none other than the young medical school dropout curled up on the couch outside her bedroom. 

The details of that dream are unnecessary to report.

Three, there was the general tossing and turning which came with the mix of frustration, self-righteousness, and guilt over the fact that she hadn’t brought Alex a blanket, nor a pillow, nor any water, nor painkiller…but then again she was _glad_ she hadn’t, because she hadn’t expected Alex to come over, and therefore owed her nothing. This back and forth of feelings made for a very tumultuous sleeping experience.

Four, she had received a deeply troubling text just moments before Alex had arrived last night, one which she had resolved to ignore till later. Her sleeping mind didn’t let her ignore it, however, causing extra tossing and turning, leading her to turn off her alarm for the morning and abandon her near daily call to the gym.

And now, after that long night of no sleep…this.

Ears ringing, she leapt out of bed, throwing her door open, to search for the source that had triggered the fire alarm.

It wasn’t difficult. She just followed the scent of burning food, which led her to the kitchen, where Alex Danvers, Second Year Medical School Dropout and Former Fake Prostitute, was waving a dish towel desperately at the fire alarm with one hand, while trying to reach over and get a cover on a smoky pot that seemed in danger of bursting into flame with the other. She was doing both these things while balancing on a three-legged chair Astra had been meaning to have fixed for some time now.

“Alex!” Astra exclaimed, striding over quickly to get the cover on the pot, and push Alex more upright so she wasn’t teetering so dangerously. With the extra support, Alex was able to successfully beat and fan the fire alarm into silence.

The two of them stood there without moving for a moment, ears pounding with residual pain from the alarm, and the sudden silence of it. Astra became aware that she had one hand at Alex’s waist, and the other supporting her back, and it wasn’t…the worst feeling in the world to have her like this. Even after everything.

She eased up on the pressure as Alex pivoted awkwardly and stepped down from the chair, catching herself at the last minute from falling completely into Astra. It still brought them very close.

“Okay, before you say anything,” Alex said quickly, “or yell at me, or ice me out, or whatever your preferred method of displaying anger is, this is not what I was planning. I wasn’t even planning on being here. I just wanted to make you pancakes and eggs and leave them here and then get out before you woke up so you’d have a good memory of me. Linked to food. I promise this is…definitely the opposite of what I was going for. And it’s not that I don’t know how to cook—I mean, I’m not great at it—but I can do the basics…it’s just that I am slightly hungover, and I had this wave of nausea hit me in the middle of making the pancakes, and I sat down for like two seconds, and then this thing went off, and…y’know, on the plus side I think the adrenaline rush just cured my hangover so that’s nice, but Astra, I swear I was just…and while I’m here, I just want to apologize one more time, I know I was drunk last night, but I meant every word, and I’m really sorry about your fire alarm just now, I’m just trying to…”

“Alex.”

Alex stopped talking immediately, dark eyes snapping attentively to hers. Her expression was one of guarded apprehension, equal parts fearful, and hopeful—a vulnerability there that Astra could tell was a rare thing for her to display, and it rang more honestly now that she wasn’t stumbling drunkenly over every word.

God, what was Astra supposed to do with her? The humiliation still stung, the knowledge of having been used and lied to still twisted her gut, but here Alex was, eyes widening the longer Astra failed to speak, still looking like she was on the verge of begging for forgiveness.

Astra slid her hand down to take Alex’s, and tugged a little. “Come with me,” she murmured.

Alex followed obediently, and Astra found herself tugging a little harder out of annoyance. Alex _should_ be apologetic, she _should_ be walking on egg shells and obedient the way she was now, and Astra should find some level of forgiveness because of that. But there was something in her that wanted to pick a fight instead, not have to deal with being _open,_ or caring about that fragile look on Alex’s face.

So while her original intention was to lead her over to the living room, sit down with her, and talk, and figure out what to do, what happened in actuality was a little different.

Namely, she pulled Alex into her room, took her face in her hand and kissed her.

Alex made a sort of _mpphf!_ sound against her lips in surprise, possibly as shocked to be kissed here this time as she was the first time she’d been in Astra’s room. The memory of it was awkwardly painful now that everything else had come to light, and Astra shoved Alex down on her bed with more force than she’d intended. The force of impact caused Alex’s back to bounce somewhat against the mattress, the motion sending ruffled strands of hair across her eyes. Astra followed her down, roughly pushing her knee between Alex’s legs, making her arch, and hiss in surprise.

“Astra—“

Astra silenced her with a kiss that was more punishment than sweetness. Alex moaned again, and Astra kissed harder, tugging Alex’s lower lip between her teeth and biting. That earned her a sharp cry, which Astra rewarded by letting go and skimming her lips to the corner of her jaw, beginning to bite down her neck.

She stopped when she got to the neckline of her shirt, frowning, and urging Alex to sit up so she could pull it off her. Alex scrambled to obey, helping her lift the hem up, yelping quietly when Astra yanked it off over her shoulders and threw it to the floor. She looked startled, and even more vulnerable for it. Honestly, Astra had surprised herself too. This wasn’t at all the way she had pictured things happening this morning.

But there was a sweetness to the shock on Alex’s face, and the ruffled mess of her hair, made even more ruffled from having had the shirt pulled over it so aggressively, and Astra needed to kiss that sweetness away, because Alex didn’t deserve to look sweet after what she’d done.

So she pushed on Alex’s shoulders again and surged downward into another kiss, forcing Alex’s breath and pulse to quicken before she dragged her lips back down her throat, finding a place to latch onto with her teeth, biting and sucking there as she pushed her thigh harder against Alex’s center, encouraging her to grind up against it.

Alex moaned, and Astra felt one hand come up to bury in her hair, the other to dig fingers into her shoulder. She let herself get lost in the erratic panting coming from Alex as she sucked marks into her throat and dug into her thighs with her fingertips.

She bit harder as she heard Alex whine, “Astra, wait…” which broke off into another moan. She thought that was going to be the only protest, but it came again, that “Astra, wait,” then followed with, “Astra, stop—stop.”

Astra pulled back, looking down at her to find dark eyes blown almost black with desire, breath coming out heavy through parted, swollen lips, and a deep flush blooming from her chest, her cheeks, her neck. It was every possible indication of _keep going_ , but Alex had said stop, and there was a frown at the corners of her mouth, where that breath of _stop_ remained firm.

“I don’t want…” Alex started to say. She swallowed. “I don’t want to do this when you hate me.”

Astra blinked, reality crashing back into her, and she lowered herself down, rolling onto her back to stare up at the ceiling. She exhaled slowly, trying to get herself back in order, breathe past whatever…whatever that had been. Her heart still pounded against her chest, and she sighed more deeply to try to get it to calm, covering her face with her hands.

When her breath had evened out enough, she took her hands away, keeping her gaze fixed on a crack in the ceiling. “I don’t hate you,” she sighed out finally.

She felt a hesitant tensing of Alex’s body beside her, a breath too long of time passing, and then Alex shifted forward to press into her side. It was almost a cuddle, but slightly too stiff, too apprehensive. But the intention seemed true, one of comfort, of encouraging her to continue to speak.

Astra dared to angle herself a little bit so that her temple was leaned against Alex’s forehead beside her, contact without having to look at her.

“You’re not the only one who should be apologizing,” she admitted, voice coming out in a half whisper. “I mean, I’m the one who…I saw what I wanted. I saw you, and I saw you in a way that would allow me to have you, no questions asked. If I had questioned myself further, and more honestly…maybe I would have come to the correct conclusion, but I fell back on my initial misinterpretation and I held it as truth, because it was the only thing that would allow me to be with you. As far as I could think of, anyway.”

Another uneven moment went by, and then she felt Alex angle her head so she could press a kiss to her cheek. Astra closed her eyes, sighing, not sure what to make of it, if it was affection, or if it came only from a place of pity.

Pity, most likely. She started to pull away, but Alex shifted to prop herself up on her elbow and took her face in her hand, guiding it so she had to look up at her. That sweet, startled look was gone from her face, replaced with something firmer. Still open, but more…present. She brushed her thumb back and forth across the ridge of Astra’s cheek, biting her lip thoughtfully.

“Do you want to go out with me tonight?” she asked finally.

Astra’s eyebrows lifted in surprise, and she looked up at her searchingly. “Out, as in…”

“…As in on a date,” Alex finished for her.

Astra cast around for an answer. After this completely graceless tangle Astra had just shoved them both into, Alex was just…asking her on a date. And of _course,_ because that was exactly what Astra had always wanted, how much she wished that was how this had all started…but before she could say anything, her mind snagged on the troubling text she had received last night.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Alex,” she said softly.

“Why?” Alex asked. Her hand moved from Astra’s cheek to coil absently in her hair. “I mean, I like you, you pretty much just admitted you’re totally into me…”

Astra bit her lip against a smile, a fact that obviously did not go unnoticed by Alex, whose lips quirked up a little devilishly.

“We’ve already clearly got great sexual chemistry,” she went on, “I mean despite the fact that we never seem to get past…this point.” She gestured at her half-clothed self, and Astra smiled again. “Maybe we could get to know each other better with clothes on, see if this might be worth getting into with each other.”

“So a recon mission then.”

Alex huffed out a laugh. “Sure,” she said. She dropped a hesitant kiss to Astra’s shoulder, then lifted her head back up, looking down at her appealingly. “What do you say?”

Astra’s mind returned again to the text she’d received, but Alex had dropped another kiss to her shoulder, and then another, her confidence apparently growing as she made her way up to bite teasingly at her earlobe. Alright…alright. 

Alright—that was extremely difficult to argue with, and the text that had been sent to her was fairly baseless anyway, it likely wouldn’t come to anything more than empty accusations, so it was okay, particularly because now Alex was nosing at her cheek, and pressing kisses to each corner of her mouth, and now kissing her fully, and yes, the implications of that text could definitely fall by the wayside, at least for now.

She pushed on Alex’s shoulder so she could get her mouth free enough to say, “I’d really like that,” and Alex smiled. Oh right. That smile. That incredibly deadly smile. A little too much charm for her own good, balanced out with the slightest tell of insecurity in her eyes. Astra’s heart hurt at that little bit of insecurity, afraid she’d just made it worse.

She sat up, running her fingers awkwardly through her hair. “I’m sorry, um…about this,” she added, pointing between them and the bed. “That was…completely inappropriate, and poorly-timed, I don’t know what I was thinking…”

“It’s okay,” Alex said quickly, sitting up as well. “I don’t really think either of us are all that good with words anyway, so this is kinda…I mean, I get it. And normally I wouldn’t be adverse to, y’know, this—and you being all aggressive was…that’s definitely something I could get used to…”

“Is that right?”

“Definitely.” Alex coiled the white streak in Astra’s hair around her finger. “I just feel like we’ve been doing this the wrong way this whole time, and I don’t want to keep doing that. Y’know? I don’t want all this weirdness, and lies, and just plain shit communication to be the thing that drives us. I just want to try being with you. In a real person way. If you’re willing to give it a shot.”

Astra’s gaze dropped for a moment, like that could somehow hide her smile. “More than willing.”

When she looked back up, Alex was grinning ear to ear, the tips of which were bright red. “Cool,” she said. “So…I’ll text you a place to meet tonight?”

Astra nodded, somewhat surprised that Alex already seemed to be orchestrating something in her head. Being _romanced_ by a former pretend prostitute wasn’t what she had expected, and the absurdity of it actually made her laugh.

“Cool,” Alex said again, looking, frankly, a little bit giddy. She hesitated, and then leaned in to peck Astra on the lips. It was almost chastely sweet, and Astra relaxed back into the mattress while Alex put her shirt back on and sort of tripped her way out of the room, and out of the house.

This whole thing was so…Astra couldn’t even begin to think of a word to describe this. Alex was right—neither of them were particularly good with words, as clearly evidenced by Astra’s lack of ability to put coherent thoughts to this situation.

She ran her hands searchingly under her pillow to find her phone, resolving to keep it firmly by her side the whole day until she got that text from Alex. 

The phone was a source of nervous excitement, but with Alex’s sudden absence, she was reminded that it was also a source of troubling apprehension as she looked down again and saw the text Indigo had sent to her in the late hours of last night:

_Hope you’re enjoying your illegal pet. It’ll be interesting to see what the board has to say about her._

It was baseless, though, Astra reminded herself. Indigo lived for creating drama, but there was nothing she could prove about the situation with Alex, and likely no one would believe her. She probably wouldn’t even tell anyone anyway, she just enjoyed being a thorn in Astra’s side. That’s all it was.

The pit of her stomach still twisted uncomfortably, though.

*

Just as the question of _what does one wear for one’s first encounter with a prostitute_ was never a question Astra had imagined asking herself, the question of _what does one wear on a date with a woman initially thought to be a prostitute, recently revealed not to be, causing immense humiliation and confusion of feelings, ultimately resulting in “yes I do want to go out to dinner with you in the way that a normal pair of human beings would do”_ was even more so a question Astra had never pictured having to ask herself.

Well, she’d had good results in a dress. Memories of Alex going down on her in her office were particularly well-defined at the moment. Dresses tended to go against her practical side’s habit of wearing clothes more suitable for her fight-or-flight instincts, but on occasion…Alex had certainly liked it last time. Astra would stick to black to quasi-appease her survivalist side, but a dress seemed appropriate for tonight.

Appraising herself in the mirror one more time, she finally forced herself away, grabbing her phone off the night stand. She wasn’t familiar with the address Alex had texted her, but she knew it was somewhere toward the middle of town, within walking distance. Well. A _long_ walk, but still. 

When she reached it, Alex was waiting outside the door. The restaurant seemed to be an off-shoot of a much larger building, and it looked…incredibly fancy. The dress had been a good call. Alex had opted for pants, but they shaped her so well, the effect was both classy and devastatingly sexy.

Alex broke into a wide smile at seeing her, face already a little red in the glow of the street lamps. The two of them met a little awkwardly, Astra unsure if she should kiss her, or hug her, or shake her hand, or just stand there—they compromised with an awkward cheek kiss that teased at the corners of their mouths.

When they pulled away, Astra’s gaze caught on a small bouquet of flowers that had been abandoned in the trash. The bouquet looked suspiciously similar to the one Alex had sent her when she’d needed to cancel one of their appointments.

Alex noticed where her gaze had fallen and gave out an embarrassed laugh. “Those were gonna be for you, but I um…they were making me sneeze like crazy, and I wasn’t sure where you would put them anyway while we’re here, kinda seemed like an inconvenience, and seriously, I didn’t even _know_ I was allergic to anything, but yeah. Anyway. Sorry. I know you’re a plant person, these were just killing me. So. Shall we?”

Astra smirked at her awkwardness, and followed her through the doors. She almost couldn’t believe she had ever thought Alex to be suave in any way. The grand majority of that charm seemed to be accidental, and it was even more enchanting because of that. Genuine, too. With every awkward step, Alex was just proving more and more that she had never meant to hurt Astra in any way. Once again, confusion swirled around in Astra. This wasn’t straight-forward the way she preferred things. But…Alex shot her smile over her shoulder, and Astra felt warmth flood through her entire body. Why overthink things?

The two of them were seated by the window, which Astra was grateful for, as always. Any means to see a potential threat, or just a distraction from awkward pauses in conversation. 

And awkward it was, honestly. Neither of them were particularly sure how to start things off. When the waiter came to their table querying about drink orders, Astra ordered a glass of whiskey. Alex started to do the same, but then her eyes caught on Astra, and she quickly changed her order to just water. Astra smiled, noting it for the sweet gesture that it was, and changed her order to water as well.

After that, things went a little more smoothly. Alex seemed oddly but endearingly determined to understand exactly what Astra’s work entailed. It wasn’t exactly rocket science, but she kept asking further questions as if she was trying to grasp every single nuance of it.

“Alright, that’s enough about me,” Astra said finally, as Alex started to ask her the exact process of providing information to the government about proposed alterations to policies protecting a very specific type of symbiotic relationship between three species of plant and two species of beetle. “Why don’t you tell me about yourself? We’re getting into the details of my job that _I_ even get bored with.”

“Well…let’s see,” Alex mused, tapping a finger to her chin in thought. “Oh—something you might not know about me—I’m a masseuse.”

Astra gave her a look, and Alex grinned shamelessly. 

“Sorry. Um…yeah, I guess…it’s not really my vocation or anything, it’s just that with all my training from medical school, I actually qualified to become a certified masseuse after just a few—six, I think—yeah, like six weeks. It was either that or retail, and I’ve had enough crappy retail jobs I decided to pass. Plus, massage therapy pays way better, and I don’t have to use my shit-eating grin quite as much.”

“And then…your FBI training…is that part of your story real?” Astra asked, a little guarded.

Alex flushed red for a split second. “Yeah, that part’s real,” she said. “That’s actually…when I told you that, I think that’s when I realized I’m…kinda in deep with you.”

Astra raised her eyebrows, the blunt wording catching her off guard. _Kind of in deep._ Accurate, really, if they were describing Astra’s feelings toward her as well.

Alex cleared her throat. “Yeah, I just realized I really liked talking to you…talking to you _honestly,_ and learning about you…plus you looked really amazing in that dress…”

Astra gave her another look, which Alex grinned at once again.

“But yeah, anyway, the FBI thing’s real. I’ve been scrambling to get the experience I need in—a friend of mine got me into this fighting program that’s actually taught by the brother of the director. He’s actually kind of a dick, his name’s Hank Henshaw. I met his brother though, J’onn J’onzz…he’s pretty fair-minded. Really badass, too—he came in for a demonstration, and just…wow. I could definitely see working with him.”

“J’onzz and Henshaw?” Astra asked. “They’re…brothers, but they have different last names?”

“Yeah—there was some kind of separation at birth thing, or adoption…I don’t remember the whole deal, but yeah, it’s pretty interesting to see them together. They’re twins, but they could _not_ be more different.”

Astra felt an unexpected pang go through her at the words.

“You okay?” Alex asked, frowning in concern.

“I’m fine,” Astra assured her, once she was sure her voice would come out even. She cleared her throat and ran her fingers absently over the table cloth. “It’s just…twins. I used to have a twin sister. She died several years ago, but every so often…reminders catch you off guard.”

Alex’s eyes widened. “Oh—oh my god, I’m so sorry,” she said.

“It was years ago,” Astra said again, quickly waving her thoughts away. Now wasn’t the time for digging up complex histories or tangled relationships. She redirected the conversation, pulling out a smile. “Anyway, I was reunited with her daughter a year ago…they’re so alike in so many ways. It’s like having a piece of her returned to me.”

There was such a comforting warmth in Alex’s eyes, Astra almost didn’t tell her…but then…

“Actually…while we’re on this roll of actually being honest with one another,” she said hesitantly, “I’m afraid I have some very uncomfortable news for you.”

Alex’s eyebrows raised a little cautiously. “More uncomfortable than what we’ve got going already?” she asked.

“Maybe not as bad, though certainly related. My niece,” Astra began, wondering how to word this properly, and coming up short. Go for blunt, then. “My niece’s name is Kara.”

“Oh yeah? That’s my roommate’s na—oh.” Alex broke off, eyes widened. “Oh my god. You mean…oh shit, are you _kidding?”_

“I’m afraid not.”

“Oh my god,” Alex said again, cheeks going red and hand covering her mouth. “Do you…do you think she knows…?”

“Considering that I got a phone call from her last night wondering if you were with me, I’d say she does,” Astra confirmed.

“Oh my god,” Alex groaned again, dropping her forehead to the table top. 

Astra watched her and noticed that her shoulders were shaking. Unsure what to do, she reached forward only to realize that Alex’s shoulders were shaking because she was _laughing._  

The sound of it made Astra grin unexpectedly, and she began to laugh as well as Alex straightened up, practically in tears from how hard she was laughing. It turned into something of a cackle, and Astra guessed she was probably connecting all the dots in her mind, their assumptions that Mon-El was cheating, their plans of breaking the news to each girl in order to retain their dignity and even encourage a friendship…

“This is the most ridiculous situation I’ve ever been in,” Alex continued to giggle, wiping laugh-induced tears from her eyes. “And all because you _actually_ thought I was a prostitute.”

“All because _you_ kept flirting with me at my ex-husband’s party—“

“Yeah, because you were obviously having a rough time, and I was trying to be a good person and make you feel better.” 

Alex sobered a little bit, hand reaching forward to cover Astra’s on the table. “I’m glad we somehow managed to get here though,” she said, eyes warm. “In…the weirdest possible way, but…worth it, I think. I mean, if you think. I mean, I definitely think, but if you don’t think…”

Astra turned her hand under Alex’s so she could hold it more properly, and brushed her thumb over Alex’s knuckles. It seemed to get her message across—Alex stopped her babbling and simply grinned at her.

*

When they’d both finished with dinner, Astra was made aware of a very interesting fact via the words of their waiter.

Rather than giving them the bill, he simply asked Alex, “Room number?”

Alex flushed red, and stuttered for a moment before mumbling out “Three-two-seven.”

Astra lifted an eyebrow at her once the waiter had left them. “Room number?” she asked pointedly, pursing her lips to keep from laughing at Alex’s mortified face.

“No—it’s nothing, it’s just that the restaurant is part of the hotel next door, so they were just gonna put it on my…um. My…"

“Alex Danvers, did you get a room here?” Astra asked, putting on airs of being deeply scandalized. To her delight, Alex squirmed uncomfortably.

“It’s not…I mean, yeah…but not because…like, it’s not like I was _expecting_ anything,” Alex said. “I was just…I mean, _if_ something were to happen, I just was thinking about how we never really seemed to have any luck in your room, so…just in case, maybe a change of venue—but also I don’t mean it as like a pressure thing, because they also have this heated pool on the roof that you can only use if you have a room here, so if you didn’t want to do anything, that’s totally fine, we could just hang out up there or something, or not…we could go home, or whatever, but. Yeah, it’s a nice pool, my parents and I stayed here a couple times when I was little, and it’s…it’s a good pool, as far as pools go, y’know, if you like pools…”

“A pool, hm?” Astra hummed. She casually ran her foot up Alex’s leg under the table, biting her lip when Alex jolted a little. It was _fun_ keeping her off-balance like this. “Why do I get the feeling I’m getting a glimpse into some of _your_ particular fantasies, Agent Danvers?”

“Um…” Alex swallowed.

“The last thing I want to do is derail them,” Astra said gently, “but it’s not like I just have a bathing suit readily on hand.”

Alex’s gaze dipped down to her cleavage for a split second before she said quickly, “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right, I wasn’t thinking that through. And I mean, the pool’s probably closed at this hour anyway, so if you want, we can just part ways here…although I have the room till noon tomorrow in case you wanted to come back in the morning and we could hang out in the pool then, I mean it’s a really nice pool…”

“You think the pool is closed at this hour?” Astra interrupted, cocking her head.

Alex looked surprised at the interruption. “Yeah, I think,” she said. “From what I remember, they only keep it open till 8, and I think it’s…” she squinted her eyes toward the clock on the far wall. “Yeah, it’s 9 right now, I’m pretty sure the pool’s closed.”

“I think we should go double-check,” Astra told her, standing and holding out her hand.

*

Alex was right, as it so happened. The pool was indeed closed, and partitioned off by a low metal gate. Glancing over, Astra saw Alex’s face fall in disappointment. Astra, on the other hand, could not have been more pleased.

She turned Alex to face her, tucking her short hair behind her ear and looking at her appealingly. “Now, I know your longterm goal is to become a government agent, likely committed to upholding the laws of the land,” she said, “but I’m wondering if I might be able to corrupt you just once before that happens.”

“Corrupt—“ Alex tripped over her words slightly. “Corrupt, how?”

Astra answered by taking off her shoes, and climbing over the railing of the gate.

“What’re you doing?” Alex asked, glancing worriedly over her shoulder as if hotel security would come barging up the stairs to the roof at any second.

“From the number of times you mentioned the pool,” Astra said, “I’m starting to believe this really _is_ some fantasy of yours. And given all you were willing to do for me…not to mention the duffel bag full of sex toys you left at my house…I think the least I can do is help you out with a little wish fulfillment of your own.”

Alex wasn’t responding verbally, but that may have had something to do with the fact that her jaw was hanging uselessly open. 

Astra considered that to be confirmation of her suspicions, so with a tantalizing smirk, she padded over to the edge of the pool. It must have been cleaned recently—the surrounding patio was free of any puddles made from swimmers getting in and out of the pool. Good thing, too. The lighting up here was minimal, most of it coming from small lights lining the perimeter of the pool, with a couple of ever-burning heat lamps stationed at various points around the patio itself. The lack of puddles to slip in definitely made her plans of seduction more appealing and less deadly.

“Astra—we shouldn’t be here…” Alex was saying hesitantly.

Astra bit her lip. “I never would have taken you for such a strict rule-follower, Agent Danvers,” she teased. “Are you too scared to join me?”

“Well, I—“ Alex glanced over her shoulder again. “I mean, if we get caught…”

“We won’t,” Astra assured her. When Alex continued to hesitate, Astra added, “You acted as my fantasy for the last several weeks. Let me return the favor.”

It wasn’t until the words were out of her mouth that she realized what that had all been about this morning. In some ways—in a lot of ways—she was as much to blame for the situation they had gotten themselves in as Alex. And Alex had already apologized profusely—first drunkenly, and then again when sober.

Now it was Astra’s turn to apologize.

Alex still looked trepidatious, so Astra decided to make things easier for her. Moving her hair over one shoulder, she unzipped the back of her dress, and let it fall to the floor.

Alex no longer looked trepidatious. Mostly she just looked like her brain had short-circuited. Getting there.

In order to make things even easier, Astra’s hands then went to her bra, unclasping it, and letting it fall beside her dress.

Alex started to say something which, under normal circumstances, may have been something along the lines of, “Astra, we really shouldn’t do this.”

What actually came out was more of a, “Ashrahrereshliudish,” which Astra was going to choose to believe was a request to please continue. So, she reached down, sliding her hand slowly beneath the waistband of her underwear, taking a moment to rub her fingers against herself—both for her own enjoyment, and for the way that it had just made Alex’s eyes bulge just about out her skull. Satisfied with the result, Astra finally peeled her underwear off completely, and dropped that to the ground to join her dress and bra.

If the expression on her face was anything to go by, it would seem that at this point, Alex’s brain had disengaged completely. Amusing, but still not what Astra wanted. So she made her way to the deep end of the pool, dipping her toe in experimentally to find that, yes, it was indeed a heated pool. The January air was just cool enough to have dropped beneath the pool’s temperature, making the water warm enough to coax a few wisps of steam to skim across the surface, but not so hot that it burned.

Shooting one last look at Alex to make sure she was paying attention, Astra dove smoothly into the water, deep enough that she could almost touch the slick floor of the pool. Instead of touching it, she bowed her back, and kicked hard against the water, shooting back up the surface.

Alex was, enchantingly enough, still completely rooted to the spot and staring at her with a slackened jaw when Astra finally surfaced. Still not good enough though. Being blunt seemed to be the only useful tool Astra had tonight.

So, rather than throw anymore taunts her way, she simply cocked her head, one eyebrow arching, and prompted, “Well? Are you coming or not?”

Alex licked her lips hesitantly, then nodded, finally clambering over the gate with a few fumbled steps. Astra had seen Alex at the gym before—she knew Alex wasn’t clumsy under normal conditions, so this was all very telling. Astra floated backward a little ways, tilting her head enticingly.

Alex shed her clothes awkwardly, seeming only narrowly to avoid falling over when she stripped out of her pants. She righted herself at the last minute though, and went on to take off her underwear and bra. 

Astra marveled at her as she did. She had an athletic body, surprisingly powerful given her small frame, and Astra could see each muscle shifting and flexing with every simple movement she made.

Finally devoid of clothing, Alex moved to the edge of the pool, sliding in feet first. She submerged herself completely for a quick moment—almost like she was trying to clear her head, Astra thought—then resurfaced, shaking her head before smoothing her short hair back.

Now it was Astra’s turn to be a little transfixed, and Alex apparently caught onto that, lips quirking slightly as she swam forward toward her. Astra floated backward toward the shallower end of the pool, allowing Alex to back her up against the side once they were at a depth where they could both stand just tall enough to have their shoulders above the water.

Being suddenly in the thick of her own fantasy seemed to have boosted Alex’s confidence, because she pressed up against Astra without hesitation, trapping her against the side of the pool, and brushing slightly parted lips against her for only a moment before kissing her fully.

Astra sighed into it, feeling every molecule come alive at the feeling of Alex’s entire body bared to her, pressed to her with nothing in between them, skin slick and smooth beneath the water. She wanted to run her hands over every inch of her, pull her in even closer, but there was something about the warm water that slowed her down—slowed them both down. Rather than the frantic scrabbling of every time before—perhaps because the two of them had always been aware of the imaginary one-hour time limit they had—Astra felt like time was endless here. There seemed to be no need for her to rush anything, she could take all the time she wanted.

They kissed for a long time— _just_ kissed, slow and deep, lips and tongues sliding languidly against each other. Astra sighed luxuriously as she felt Alex slide her leg between her thighs, giving her something to grind wetly against. It was too slippery to give her the friction she needed to get off, but god was it ever the most blissful tease. She moaned, pulling Alex’s lower lip gently between her teeth, and tugging it back slowly enough just to coax out a hitch in Alex’s breath before letting go and resuming their softer build-up.

Alex was the first to break after that, dragging her lips across Astra’s jaw, and kissing down her neck, sucking stray droplets of water from her skin. Astra tightened her grip in Alex’s hair when she felt her run her hands under her thighs, urging them up to wind around her waist, using the buoyancy of the water to help support her weight. Astra clenched her thighs over her hips, biting Alex’s ear as she felt her begin kneading at the undersides of her thighs, moving up to squeeze at her ass.

“Alex,” she breathed, a small flash of white sparking behind her eyes when she closed them. Close already. So startlingly close.

It occurred to her suddenly that she hadn’t come with another person—that no one had _made_ her come—in a very long time. The threat of that, or the temptation of it, was equal parts terrifying and mesmerizing. Most strikingly of all—she realized she didn’t _want_ anyone to make her come, unless that someone was Alex. Anyone else would seem pointless, and empty, but Alex…

“Oh god, Alex…” she moaned, biting reflexively at her again when she felt Alex’s hand slip teasingly between her legs. Alex’s fingers stroked back and forth, never entering, never rubbing quite the right way, but Astra could tell it wasn’t for lack of experience. Alex seemed to have come to the same conclusion she had—that there was no imaginary one-hour limit, that time was whatever they chose to make of it here, and if that meant teasing her until she begged, then it was worth it.

Begging it was, then.

“Alex, please…” she whispered.

She broke off with a cry as Alex pushed one finger slowly inside her. She didn’t move it beyond that for a moment, only pressed up against her with the heel of her hand rubbing against her clit.

“Tell me you want me,” Alex murmured against her lips.

“Alex, yes,” she breathed, answer coming more from her gut than anywhere else. “Yes I want you, god you have no idea…”

“Only me,” Alex urged, pulling out, and then pushing back in with a second finger. Astra shifted with a groan, positioning herself so those fingers hit _exactly_ where she wanted them.

“Only you,” she echoed breathlessly. “Alex, _only_ you—Alex…”

“And I’m not just some fantasy to you,” Alex grunted, twisting her fingers inside of her.

Astra gasped, physical pleasure blacking out her thoughts for the smallest of seconds.

Of course—of _course_ Alex wasn’t just a fantasy. 

“God, you’re so much more,” she moaned, throwing her head back. “You’re everything, Alex…”

She wasn’t making sense and she knew it, but she got the feeling Alex understood her anyway as she crooked her fingers inside her again. Seeming satisfied with her answers, Alex began kissing every inch of skin available to her, pumping her fingers more urgently in and out of her, working her up harder.

When she bit down on Astra’s collar bone, Astra lost every ounce of control she had, crying out as her orgasm finally— _finally—_ came crashing over her. Alex held her hand still so she could grind down against the aftershocks, walls clenching hard around her fingers.

As the haze of her orgasm cleared, she realized Alex was muttering, _“Fuck, Astra. Fuck, that was so fucking hot”_ under her breath, which made Astra clench around her one more time.

They panted against each other for a moment until Alex finally withdrew her fingers and Astra unwound her legs from around Alex’s waist. It was almost jarring to have her feet touch the floor of the pool.

She took Alex’s chin in her hand after a moment, making sure she had her complete attention.

“You aren’t just a fantasy to me,” she said. She’d hoped she had made that clear before, but she just really needed to make absolutely sure that Alex understood. “That’s never what it was about.”

Alex nodded. “I know,” she said softly. She pressed her lips together. “And I kinda think we’ve just apologized each other to death—though I think your apology was better. Mine was just stupid words and burnt food. Your was, y’know…this. It’s kinda hard to top this. You win the apology game.”

Astra smiled and leaned in to kiss her, but they both jumped as they heard the elevator _ding_ from across the patio. Panicking, they both swam as quickly as they could to the more well-hidden corner of the pool. They lowered themselves so only their heads peeked out of the water, and flattened themselves against the side, hoping that the fact that they couldn’t see whoever had just come up here meant they couldn’t be seen either.

Astra perked her ears, and realized it was a child and a father that had come to check out the pool.

“…And we can stay up all night and swim and then go see a movie and then…” the child was babbling cheerfully.

Astra flinched at the sound of the gate _clang-_ ing, but breathed out a sigh of relief as she heard the father say, “You know what, bud, it looks like the pool’s closed for tonight. Think we’re gonna have to come back tomorrow when it’s open.”

There was silence for a moment, and then the child burst into a wailing tantrum, blubbering out incomprehensible words, and banging on the gate.

“Sorry, bud,” the father said calmly, and Astra had to assume that he had just picked the child up, because the wailing intensified in anger, but decreased in volume, as he was carried to the elevator. The elevator _ding_ -ed again, and the child’s wailing disappeared completely, indicating they were in the clear.

She and Alex swam carefully to the shallow end again to find the patio blessedly deserted. Alex dropped her head to stifle a snort of laughter. “That was close.”

“No kidding,” Astra breathed. “Just think…if they’d been just five minutes earlier…”

“If they’d been five minutes earlier, that kid would have grown up very fast,” Alex said, and Astra grinned. “I guess…we probably shouldn’t push our luck up here again.”

“We could continue elsewhere,” Astra suggested slyly. 

When Alex cocked her head curiously, Astra wrapped her arms around her, letting one hand sneak down to squeeze her ass. Alex let out a small gasp, eyes widening, and Astra pressed her lips against her ear.

“I believe you mentioned a room numbered 327 we might want to take advantage of,” she whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think you'll notice this time I remembered to mention the underwear.


End file.
